Three AM Buzz Kill

Falling through the universe at the speed of life

It’s the inevitable decline and fall of Facebook. Originally, the idea was to be able to communicate with your friends. I was in a Dunkin Doughnuts onetime. I was wasted, it was three AM. Everyone was wasted it was three AM, except for the employees. That’s when two cops walked in with their leather jackets and guns and flashlights and cop accoutrements .

The room got real quiet all of a sudden and stayed real quiet, until they left. Then the whole room employees included, erupted into an outbreak of nervous laughter, stoned energy needing to be released.

Like when a cop lets you go without giving you a ticket. That burst of adrenaline of having escaped from the lion’s jaws. But survival or not, it was definitely a buzz kill. As the adrenaline subsided the buzz leaked out with it. And it was too late to start again. I might as well go home now and just go to bed, tomorrow is another day! “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

There is free speech, but there is no free platform. You can climb to the top of Lookout Mountain and scream your fool head off. Try that in town and see where it gets you. In the old days, they passed out handbills and newsletters. Lee Harvey Oswald passed out handbills. That’s the way you did it before the Internet. You were free to pass them out to anyone interested, though few were interested, and provided you didn’t stay too long.

Due to the rise of violent extremist idiocy, Facebook must be extraordinarily vigilant against all the things they should be vigilant against. Only, that’s not really possible, free speech is, or it isn’t.

To assemble a team to randomly sample the waters or worse yet, turn it over to Artificial Intelligence. When the original intelligence, isn’t even perfected yet. “This is Officer Circuit Board, and I’m Captain Processor…and you’re under arrest. On the charge of saying something we really didn’t understand or took out of context. (Algorithm Abuse- First Class)

The last time my account was restricted, I had referred to an ethnic group (my own). I could see in retrospect, how that comment could have been misconstrued. They hold up a picture of Adolf Hitler along with your comment and two choices, yes, or no?

But this time, I didn’t refer to any ethnic group. My comment was in no way threatening to anyone. My comment involved the sale of a legal product made in jest. My comment was in response to a high school friend. After he made a pro Twump post.

You see the problem is obvious, don’t you? My high school buddy from Gym class posts the rhetoric of violent criminal madman, and I am the one sanctioned. I made no threats of any action of any kind. I simply asked, “are you high?” metaphorically asking “Are you crazy? Come on man, you gotta be kidding me.” Three days no appeal. Bam! Electronic court dismissed! “Bailiff, take the guilty party away.”

I’m not so paranoid that I think it is intentional. I think it is the traditional method of killing houseflies with a sledgehammer. The Capitalist answer, whatever does the mostest for the leastest. So randomly, the KGB scoured the streets of Leningrad  or Facebookgrad. Looking for the guilty citizens to apprehend running loose on the streets. You could always tell the guilty ones, because they had been apprehended.

Your chances of being apprehended, depended largely on the amount of time you spent out on the streets. “You’re free Comrade! And you can go anywhere you like!” There it is, that three AM buzz kill. And you ain’t doin nothing. Just standing around when the cops roust you. And even though they let you go with a warning; it is the outrage over what they just put you through.

The boss says we need 50,000 more arrests before the annual stockholders meeting, so get creative. Turn the knob all the way up. It is a wonderful way to feign doing something, while allowing violent content to exist. To blindfold themselves and swat randomly at the air with no appeal. Strangling the golden goose very gently to appease the animal rights activists.

If you can’t say what I said to a buddy in jest. You can’t say anything at all. “I hope your giraffe gets athlete’s foot. May the moon men land at your house and eat all your ice cream. Your mother’s dental work is so unfortunately yellow. (though I’m not judging) That the traffic, out on the motorway tends to slow down when she smiles. Your mother is so calorically challenged and gravitationally impaired, that she has her photos taken from outer space.

They aren’t going to cut a part of their audience off; violent, racist, or otherwise. Those people buy a lot of gun oil. Rather, just go out and make random arrests. So, we can say that we are doing something about the problem, while not even beginning to do something about the problem.

I had told someone recently that Walmart was doomed ocean liner, headed for an iceberg on a dark calm night. Walmart has become the universal symbol for BAD. If you want to describe crappy, you say Walmart. If you want to describe bad service, you say Walmart. In much the same way we once said “Sears” back in the day.

Employees were the enemy of profits. So, by firing employees’ profitability would naturally rise. Only there was no one left to ring up your purchase. Then everyone stopped going to Sears as history repeats itself.

It’s the modern corporate model, to put up a front of genuine concern, while still dumping poison into the river. To cram the store so full of crap that you can’t stop to look at anything. And because the aisles are crowded, the stores congested and the chances of bacterial infection so great. That you only go there when you absolutely must go there or not at all. Step one, get the public to hate you. Step two, antagonize your customer and make them wish they never showed up.

Social media is now a constant. Those who are wise understand that a social media under the fear of censorship for any random chance remark, it is inviting failure to live with you as a business partner. Shooting oneself in the head to try to get rid of dandruff. Trying to give free speech a straight razor shave and a haircut, blindfolded and without even looking.

Over the years, I have complained to Facebook about violent and/or racist content, that I have seen and always it comes back. “We found this item did not violate our community standards. Thank You! And don’t hesitate to complain again. So, we can tell you again.” A picture of Michele Obama swinging from a tree like an ape does not violate our community standards. While your comment, of asking if someone from your gym class praising Twump was high? Does.

“If you can’t say “Fuck” you can’t say, “Fuck the government.”
― Lenny Bruce

2 Thoughts

  1. Thank you. There is absolutely nothing on FB that can’t be found elsewhere if you look. I subscribe to This Carbon Based Life and that should be enough. Along with thee NYT and WaPo.


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