This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Some would tell you the American electorate is hyper partisan when it’s not. Most actors would prefer playing the tough guy. “Make my day, Punk!” It is more fun playing Doctor Smith than Doctor John Robinson. It’s more fun playing the Terminator than the governor of California. The Governor is forced to work all day, while the Terminator can rest in his chair after the director yells “Cut!” It’s easier to storm the fort than to defend the fort. “And if elected, we’re gonna get rid of all those lazy people who made you wait in line at the DMV and replace them with more efficient workers. Who will take less money and never want a pension! Then we are going take all that money and give it all to YOU!

It all started under Ray Gun; this trickle down, less is more philosophy. “And by gutting the Department of Education we can make our schools more efficient! Ketchup really is a vegetable, you know. And Smokey, is just a lazy, fat ass bear riding the government clock. Ray Gun was one of the first, along with George Wallace, to preach the gospel that the schools were teaching bad things. Bad books and bad ideas (Gimme dat Ole Time Religion!) better you remain ignorant, than to learn those dangerous ideas. Tooth brushing, integration, Rock & Roll music, and race mixing. And of course, the mythical “Them.”

Stalin called them “Wreckers.” People who get up everyday and go to work only pretending to do a good job. While plotting every minute to fuck things up as much as possible on purpose. The forty-year-old pump that failed, or the twenty-five-year-old mail truck that broke down, wreckers! The invisible hand, the fifth columnist among us.  Being that the invisible enemy is invisible, they are easily customizable to fit the personal enemy in your exact geographic location. In Tennessee, they might be Black. While in Texas, they might be Brown. On the East Coast they may be Jewish, while on the West Coast Asian. Can we build one for you?

Liberals! Do you know what they are? Snooty edumacated folks who use big words on purpose, just to make you feel bad about yourself Cletus! Dr. Fauci thinks he’s somebody special, cause he went to school for years and years. Your education is just a point of view. A professional bias, based on schooling and experience. We maintain that our ignorance and lack of training, be treated with the equal gravity otherwise its discrimination. Speculation is just unproven facts based on missing knowledge. There you go again, talking down to us  with your facts and figures. Hell, anyone can win an argument with facts and figures. Dr. Fauci drives a Tesla! You know who drives Tesla’s, don’t you? Liberals. I can tell by the car he drives, the man is no good!

When you play leapfrog, you end up getting further and further away from where you started. One day, you’re talking about cutting school band programs and suddenly you find yourself at the Capitol holding a banner. The suspicion of “them” is too great and the paranoia creeps in. Ray Gun invented the racist Welfare Queen, living the life of Riley, on your dime! With gold platted cock roaches in a free palace, with a doorman and a parking lot filled with new Cadillac’s. Poor people led astray by Liberals.  Why, if we’d just do away with the social safety net and lean on Jesus everyone would be so wealthy, that you wouldn’t need welfare!

The mixing of paranoia with the racist suspicion, that someone, somewhere, is getting something for free, that rightfully belongs to you! Before too long they begin to ponder. “Maybe that Dr. Fauci has got something up his sleeve! Maybe, he doesn’t have our best interest at heart! Maybe, he’s getting rich off this disease and really wants us all sick? Maybe he goes to work every day just to fuck things up. Maybe all the scientists are in Cahoots’! Trying to take over the world. Like I saw in that Pinky and the Brain cartoon!

Like a Wyoming land salesman or a patent medicine hawker, they paint a picture in the wind of how the world, could be so wonderful. If only we would lean on Jesus and conservate Republicans. If only minorities could learn to accept their second-class status with a song in their hearts. Ozzie and Harriet along with David and little Rickey could live in a 1950s nirvana. The concoction is also said to remove stains and cures incontinence in goldfish.

Promise them anything, then after not delivering shout, “Curse you, Nancy Pelosi foiled again!” Won’t you help? The Liberal devil worshippers are at it again! With your donation of $50 dollars, we can stop them (Black People) with a donation of a $100 we can stop the Black Liberal Democrats from doing all sorts of terrible things. And with your donation of $500 dollars, we can even stop them quicker. But first, let’s have a tax cut, and cut the Capital Gains tax rate. Joe six pack is getting slaughtered out there by taxable gains. Don’t worry, we’ll make up the difference out of the education budget. I hear they want to bring devil worship back into public schools and sex education for preschoolers!

These Republicans have reached the point of no return; they aren’t partisan, they are disloyal. They cheer at America’s loss, and for those who suffer in Afghanistan. They rub their hands with glee at the migrants under a bridge in the stifling heat. George Floyd was just a big Joke to them. Twump’s pedophile buddy, Jeff Epstein Isn’t dead. The Democrats just let him go and Twump won the election in November. Did you see the way the Japanese owned them Liberals on December 7^th?  Death Ray Desantis doesn’t give shit about your personal freedom. Bubba Abbott doesn’t care one whit about migrants in the sun. This is a chance to rub Joe Biden’s face in shit, no matter how many innocents need suffer and die.

It began as a ploy by the uber wealth community to fund the Conspiracy Party. A desire to win elections at any cost, and then Twump went and broke the mold. The conspiracy is off the rails now and runs wild, and they no longer respect Dr. Frankenstein’s authority. Like a runaway freight train, it keeps going faster and they can’t get off. Radicalized to where you must take the blood oath or be thrown from the train for improper goose stepping.

The more extreme and radicalized the Republicans become, the more they become an object of derision. Which only radicalizes them more. Their ignorance becomes a sticking point of honor in their theology. It’s just Liberals talking down to them and making fun of them. They’re making fun of you again! Trying to tell you the world is round, and that we evolved from monkeys. The Lt. Governor of Texas gave a replacement theory speech the other day. A rare treat, you must normally attend a Klan rally to hear one. Something, if you would like to learn about Republicans, should be of specific interest.

That African Americans, Hispanic-Americans and Jews are trying to replace good, right living, God fearing white folks at the behest of evil devil worshipping Democrats. The same type of speeches they used in Nazi Germany. Just like they said in Charlottesville. The Republicans no longer even offer realistic competing ideas. We waited four years for Twump’s “really great” healthcare plan. Instead, we got tax cuts. The Republicans offer no plans for the future except for more the same and to break stuff. Until the planet becomes a degraded environmental death cinder.  Once the atmosphere is poisoned, the Republicans will invest in oxygen stocks while maintaining, that breathable air, isn’t actually a human right.

“God told you what the trouble was. The philosophers told you what the trouble was; and when you have a country where one man owns more than 100,000 people, or a million people, and when you have a country where there are four men, as in America, that have got more control over things than all the 120,000,000 people together, you know what the trouble is. – Huey Long