By David Glenn Cox
It’s a sign of the times…another one. Newt Gingrich, America’s favorite Community College instructor and failed Republican leader, warns the Republicans in Congress of prosecution. All for the benefit of the double-digit IQ club over on Faux News. (I can read the “Big” words myself!) It’s what they call, news for local consumption only. Private audience, private brand, “Come on kids! I know, how we can save Pop’s Malt shop! We’ll put on a show!”
Newt is threatening all the members, but only Republicans need worry some. The emperor’s power ends at the palace gates of Faux News. He’s telling the home folks, “Just you wait, until it’s our turn at bat!” He’s telling the Republicans that retribution is coming. “Either you say that you love the emperor’s new sunglasses right now, or you’re going to get it!” You could have a bad accident! The leadership principle the founding fathers fought for, “You’ll do as your told or we’ll fuck you up!” Fascist Authoritarianism – 101
Newty is threatening jail time for everyone. And though the threats be shrill and whiny, it is but the Authoritarian way of the Fascist method. Stomp your feet and maybe throw your squirt gun down and begin to cry. “I’ll get even with you! Just you wait! We’ll get you! And then we are going to put you all in jail! And your little dog too!” You know because when you have a hit song, you just have to keep singing it!
“I got them old Hillary Clinton Blues, been threating for two decades gonna put her Jail! They call me the Coyote cause my plots they all fail. Been working all day till they’s holes in my shoes and I still got them old Hillary Clinton Blues!”
But most of us have watched a Columbo mystery or two. And know, that when the business associate is suddenly implicated at the crime scene, or Al Collins is driving the Bronco. Thou dost protest too much! A Party elder in the “Old” Republican Party, with its rigid rules about book learning and handgun toting . But this is the “New” Mickey Mouse Club and all that don’t mean shit to us Cubby. So Newty is trying to remain relevant, “Hey kids, I like the Beatles too! Who wants to twist the night away!”
And if you really want the Fuhrer to notice you, you must say something a bit extreme. Something to buck up the faithful and take the Fuhrer’s mind off the approaching Red Army. Something to let him know that you still love him! Let the people know; we will win Tara back! Stalingrad is but a minor setback. And we’ll never be hungry ever, ever again! Newt as Monty Python’s Black Knight, “Come on back here, I’m not finished with you yet! I’ll put you in jail; I will! Right! That’s it, you’re under arrest now!” With Newty’s track record for accuracy, I wouldn’t ask the time or for a weather report. If I were going out or needed to be someplace.
He only said it to draw attention to himself and distract attention from the January 6th Committee. “Hey! Yo! Over here, look at me! I’m saying something outrageous over here! Griffting for dollars! It’s despicable and appalling, and you should really hear it. I said it! And what’s more, I’ll say it again. If elected, we are going to have show trials. Our goal if elected is retribution, a good old-fashioned eye for and eye, and a tooth for a tooth knife fight.”
The new Republican Attorney General for Virginia, fired a staff member on leave, working for the January 6th committee. Absolutely craven, you must profess love, undying love for the Fuhrer, or you can’t work here anymore. The Nazis had an identical law. The Party was Germany, if you didn’t love the Party, you didn’t love Germany.
In the world’s largest open air insane asylum, with a beach. Florida after successfully stifling all conversation of race now moves on to squelching all talk of gender as well. Eventually, Florida students will take a vow of silence and stare at a picture of our ferocious orange leader all day and contemplate, all of the many ways we may have failed him.
Study hall will become the most academically challenging subject in Florida high schools. Maybe the Twumpist Orange Guard student’s brigade, will shout out slogans in the lunchroom. With their fists held high in the air from “The Art of the Deal.” Denouncing traitors and thought criminals with their orange kerchiefs around their necks. Tuesday night book burnings, weather permitting.
The Republican Party has their pants caught on the fence of January 6th and can’t get over it. Meaningless taunts and idle threats, the trapped wounded animal snarling and snapping. Trying to act tough with one paw caught in the trap. The captured lion roars in his cage, demanding to be set free.
The former person known as Sarah Palin pushes ahead with her lawsuit against the New York Times. She claims that the Times defamed her. Even more than her alcoholism or her failed political career. It was the Times that caused her fall from grace. It wasn’t appearing on TV in front of a machine beheading turkeys. It was a trick question to ask her what newspapers she reads. It was one of them I bet you didn’t study for this, Liberal gotcha questions.
Sarah is trying to restart a fire in a cold hearth. She’s a dusty old relic of the old Party. From the old days of John McCain, the Republican RINO Judas to the orange Fuhrer, “Boo hiss!” and the old way. There was a time though it seems almost inconceivable now. When Sarah Palin was considered the goofiest and most ill-informed candidate ever to amble down the pike on two legs. Yet today, she’s just another one, like the other one. Mundane, and can barely get arrested, because she’s still working for herself.
If only she would plead the Fuhrer’s case, perhaps they could help her. Instead, she pleads her own. Learn from the Newtster, that’s why he teaches school at the Community College. If you want to get ahead in today’s Republican Party, you better start groveling and banging on the desk for the Fuhrer. You better start threatening people and you better get rid of all those books. Evolution is a two street you know. No law that says we’re moving forward.
“About ten o’clock tonight I got caught in a mob of ten thousand hysterics who jammed the moat in front of Hitler’s hotel, shouting: “We want our Führer.” I was a little shocked at the faces, especially those of the women, when Hitler finally appeared on the balcony for a moment. They reminded me of the crazed expressions I saw once in the back country of Louisiana on the faces of some Holy Rollers who were about to hit the trail. They looked up at him as if he were a Messiah, their faces transformed into something positively inhuman.” – William L. Shirer, Berlin Diary
This Carbon Based Life 
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