By David Glenn Cox
I sure am glad Mike Pence never controlled the nuclear football. With his decision-making skills, we’d all be a radioactive cloud hovering over the rubble and debris. It took him more than a year to finally make the decision to break with Twump. They’ve had their spats in the past, and Mike would always make a nice statement, trying to play footsie and both sides under the table. Then Twump would ignore Pence for a while and not attack him.
Mike had dreams, like we all do. He thought maybe he could catch that brass ring and be the biggest thing to hit the big time from Indiana, since Ernie Pyle or John Melencamp. But Mike’s constituency is ill suited for the Twump constituency. Quiet Christian conservatives, who only want to turn back the clock to the 15th Century for your own good! You’ll thank them one day in heaven. But locked into the search for the eternal truth through antiquity is rule following. You always follow the rules, always. No matter what. Like a good John Wayne picture, you march off to your own destruction, because it’s the right thing to do.
Meanwhile on the other side of town, Twump’s people are from the more shall we say, adventurous side of the Party. The “is anybody looking?” wing of the Party. “The, that’s what lawyers are for wing of the Party! Hey look, everybody! I’m being sued again! Put it on the desk with the others.” It really had been only a matter of time before Twump stuck his chocolate into Mike’s peanut butter and would ask Mike to break the rules. Twump asks everyone to break the rules for him eventually.
But Mike’s dreams could only advance with Twump’s assistance. It took Mike one solid year to make up his mind. Before realizing that he can’t win with him, and he can’t win without him, equals he can’t win at all. Mike has planted his standard and officially broken it off in Twump. He sees the long-range weather report for the orange one, as cloudy with a 50-50 chance of an ugly prosecution coming late in the day. This is Mike’s bus stop, where Mike gets off. Another one bites the dust.
And in this corner, representing the old guard of the Republican Party. Ronna (Rollover) McDaniel, RNC Chairperson. Handing down her caustic condemnation of the heretics, Cheney and Kinzinger, who willfully worked with the devil in an attempt bring down our orange Lord. This letter is going in your file! And it will be there forever! You better not let this happen ever again! “We are both still working with the committee ma’am.” I said ever again! The next time you side against another Republican President, then you’re going to get it!
McDaniel maintains that January 6th was just Americans out for a stroll. She is stroking a dying fantasy, trying to keep it alive and trying to keep air inside it. Mike Pence just said that it was wrong! The head of the RNC just said, it wasn’t wrong. Don’t look now, but that looks like schism. Those who believe it really turns to blood and body and those who believe it only represents such. A general disagreement about the reality of the world around the dinner table. Just shut up and eat your dinosaur!
Can two polar opposite beliefs exist inside the same Party? Can the Darwinists reconcile with the Creationists? Can the Vegans host the Barbeque? Is Mike Pence an honest man or the devil incarnate?
I admire Mike Pence for making the right decision now, and on January 6th. He’s figured that his political career is probably over anyway, and his name will only lead to cussing inside the Party. After everything else has been tried and failed, do the right thing! Mike’s staff has been cooperating with the committee, but won’t answer direct questions about the conversations overheard between Mikey and Donny. Oh, and I bet those were some of the best ones too! Save those for your kiss and tell-all book!
Again, I admire Pence. When all those about him were going crazy and losing their heads. Mike Pence saw clearly that Twump’s steal the election scheme, probably wouldn’t work. Mike also correctly surmised, that if it didn’t work, he would probably be the first one arrested. The fall guy let’s get Mikey to do it! He’ll do anything! “I feel the sense of self-preservation is strong in this one.”
As Mike Pence and his family were ushered to safety on January 6th. And the was mob chanting, “Hang Mike Pence!” Mike Pence knew exactly who put that murderous thought in the mob’s head and it only took him a year to break with him over it. “Gee Godfather, you tried to have me whacked. But I guess we could still be friends.”
Mike Pence’s defection while no great gain for the Democrats, is a serious loss for the Republicans. Half of their last Presidential ticket is calling the other half a criminal. There is no other way of slicing it. Mike Pence said that what Twump had asked him to do was wrong and he wouldn’t do it. Was anyone else besides me, wondering why the crowd suddenly wanted to hang Mike Pence on January 6th? Talk about coordination! General Motors couldn’t get a memo to the assembly line that fast.
It goes up, it must come down. The little orange engine that would is beginning to lose steam, and the hill is getting steeper. The scared lion always roars the loudest. And denounces the traitors trying to keep air inside the balloon. Trying to blow smoke up the backside of the declining faithful. “We shall fight on the beaches and on the landing grounds!”
“Oh yeah, and just you wait until I’m elected President again, next time!”
Sure thing, I’ll make a note of it. Biggest crowd ever, I bet.
Last call for the delusional! Drink up the Kool Aide! You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.
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“Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I’ll never look into your eyes again”
– The Doors
This Carbon Based Life 
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