By David Glenn Cox
You know, I was looking at the headlines this morning, and it struck me as odd. All the familiar Twump community names, but the ones who were absent. Those once prominent, who always had something to say. Who now only speak when spoken to, and then only through an attorney. Get out the milk cartons and the polaroid’s!
Ivanka and Jared are thought to be cruising in their luxury submarine, somewhere in the Mediterranean. A converted Soviet era sub, it boasts a sauna and a ping pong table for Jared. While Ivanka likes the privacy and the freedom from law enforcement, it affords. They are M.I.A. Missing in affluence. The former Washington power it couple have now become “It” forever, as the whole world screams, “Not it!” in unison. They couldn’t get hired to bus tables for the midnight shift at Dennys.
Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio? And where have you gone Bill Barr? Working or lending your name to some high-powered law firm? Why sure, who wouldn’t want your interpretation of legal decisions on their marquee? Any appearance on Faux doesn’t constitute oxygen, only calliope music. No one wants his legal opinion about anything. At least no one outside the bubble.
The question that has so puzzled America’s favorite locker room attendant, Jim Jordan. Appears to have been finally answered. Jim has been unable at times to remember if or when, he spoke with the orange one on January 6th. I half-way expected Twump to tell us himself, since he’s in the process of burning down the palace. “I had a real fine conversation for about 10 minutes with Jim, the morning of the 6th.” CNN reports; two sources verifying the conversation. And what looks so incriminating about it, is Jim playing Tommy Chong. “Who? What? Well maybe, I’m not sure man. I’ll have to check; I don’t remember man. I don’t even know, if I’ve got a phone or not man.”
Missouri Senator and would be strong man, Josh Hawley received a serious reprimand from the local paper. Hawley has been parroting Russian propaganda points again. And the Saint Louis newspaper needed to bone him up on how the world came into being. Europe is not a secondary theater. Not now or ever. Look lunkhead, we have few friends in this world and if we have any at all, they’re over that way! But the chickens are nervous and stay in their coup. Only Tucker (TV Dinner) and Josh have praised Putin, so far. The praise Putin campaign has not been going real well.
It’s a dangerous time (for some reason) for Republicans to appear to be less than patriotic. And if they have dissenting views, they have kept them to themselves. Now is not the time to barnstorm on foreign policy. It’s a time that they sit in the bunker and be quiet. Lest someone remembers their names and calls them out.
The tension must be palpable. To know that you made that ten-minute phone call to the orange one. And to know what you said and to know what he said. And to know he might only be one freak out episode away from spilling the beans on everybody. The Congressmen that declined to endorse the election results are beginning to wish they used invisible ink. Their signatures will delegitimize them in upcoming campaigns. It’s one thing to say, I disagree with spending. It’s another to be disloyal.
To know that you made statements and comments to people, who could be speaking with the FBI right now!
Let’s put it to rest right here, those Republicans weren’t simple oafs stumbling along the path blindly, but educated people willing to chuck American democracy. To me that’s worse than a DUI with a naked child in the car smoking crack. This isn’t a whoops or a scuze me. This is a tried by a jury of your peers and hanged by the neck, till ye be dead affair.
Those are the laws of the world; I didn’t make them up. If you take up arms against your country, your country has the right to make you stop breathing. As Dr. Thompson once said, “You bought the ticket, now take the ride.” Instead, the Republicans try the old, “everyone look busy, like we didn’t just try to overthrow the government. Just pretend everything is normal.”
But a palace made of sugar cubes can’t stand the rain and the next time you think you’ve found a messiah, get a Resumé. I’ve been here before, I’m no swami but during Watergate, the walls of the palace fell as individual bricks. This time around whole walls collapse at once, and we must sift through the rubble to find the incriminated. It’s all beginning to come apart. A house divided against itself can’t stand. The public mood is shifting from curiosity to anger. Mitt Romney condemns the censure by the Republican Party of Kinzinger and Cheney for “Seeking truth.” As the two ends of the Party tear apart irrevokably.
Wisconsin Senator and leader of the numbskull brigade, Ron Johnson participated in the January 4th planning session at the Twump Hotel on how to stall the certifications.
“The senator’s hearing was part of what should be ongoing congressional oversight meant to transparently address that problem,” a Johnson spokesperson said. “Following the hearing, he and his staff continued to gather information and consider allegations, that is why he joined the meeting.” – Johnson Spokesman
See, he was just doing his job. Oh, heaven forbid that that he should agree with any of these people. Oh no, heaven forfend. No, he was just collecting information.
I have never understood and will never understand the lax, caviler almost laughing up their sleeve attempt to overthrow the government. Writing descriptive texts, like no one was ever going to read them again. Giving private tours of the Capitol. Oh yeah, they have that on video, and they are only waiting for the right moment to drop that evidence in prime time. Has anyone seen Lauren (Low Rent) Boebert lately?
“In a closed society where everybody’s guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.”
― Hunter S. Thompson
This Carbon Based Life 
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