This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

No matter how poorly you might think things are going for the Russians, in their criminal war on Ukraine. It is far worse, than you could ever imagine. For days now, military media experts have queried, “Where is Belarus?” Since the first day of the conflict, it was expected the Byelorussian forces would pour over the Ukrainian border, into the western half of the country. But it didn’t happen, because the Byelorussian army said, “Nyet!”

An intercepted letter between the army Chief of Staff and the President of Belarus, explains that all of his officers resigned, and the enlisted men refused to follow orders. The letter ended with, “And in conclusion, please accept this as my letter of resignation also.” And you think you’ve had a bad couple of weeks.

Byelorussian, Putin puppet President, Alexander Lukashenko is straight outta central casting. Looking every bit, the two-bit puppet, Soviet style leader. A throwback to the good ole days of goose-stepping, machine-gun nests, barbed wire, and Berlin Walls. It easy to see why Vlad would take a shine to the boy. And why Alex would gladly reciprocate. Money and military toys, you get to be a big shot. And you get to live in a big fancy house too! Then that day finally comes, when the boss calls and wants you to do him a favor. You answer, “certainly sir, anything you ask, anything at all for you!”

I’m near certain, the Byelorussian army wasn’t being invited along as a courtesy, and were expected to play their part as an integral component of the plan. This is where Putin was getting a return on his investment. This is his grand plan to rebuild the Soviet Empire of the 1960s, one puppet regime at a time. You know, Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days!”

On your mark, get set, No! The failure of the Russian plan is more understandable now. Because their plan was missing an arm. Vlad had it all planned out. Fifty thousand Byelorussians would guard his flank and then, no one showed up for the party.

It’s near always fatal to a puppet presidency, when the army says, “no.” It means, that you ain’t got no army or you got yourself a part of an army, and a part of a Civil War. Win or lose, there’s probably going to be a new President at the end of the day, when the dust settles, one way or another. “But how do you get fired on your day off?”

Oh, that must have been one embarrassing phone call. “Hello Vladimir? Alex, I’ve a, I got some sort of real bad news for you Vlad. No, not a one. Well, a few maybe, but not so many that you’d ever even notice. I can’t shoot them; they have all the guns! How can I order the army to shoot the army?

Mike Tyson said, “Everybody has a plan, until you hit em in the head.” The Russians have lost three generals in less than two weeks. Maybe you should put the chest salad and the insignia away for the duration, and stop saluting all the time. Generals matter, and you only have a limited number available, for that kind of operation.

The Russian Air Force largely took the day off yesterday, yet still managed to lose two airplanes and a helicopter. Three, count em, three, regular steady customers of Russian aviation have all cancelled their orders for Russian aircraft. The Poles can’t wait to donate their old Russian fighter jets to Ukraine. Happy to get that old junk off the tarmac, in anticipation of the delivery of the good stuff.

On the information front, the battle isn’t even close. The brave leader and his brave people vs. the crazy maniacal madman, with his half-hearted team of loser draftees. Every ambush of every Russian convoy is on You Tube, even before the smoke dies down.

46 Aircraft, 30 helicopters, 300 tanks, 500 armored vehicles, 400 trucks and 60 fuel tankers. And then the stiff Russian General says, “We regrets to inform of loss of 500 service men and one truck.” Vlad the inhaler, insists that everything is going along to plan. “We meant get stuck in the mud like that! You’ll see, it’s all just a part of our devilishly clever plan!”

The Russians it seems, fail to grasp some of the finer points of the internet. Like for example, if you are a Russian officer and send your wife and email from your phone. She won’t be the first person to read it. Seems, somebody sent an email to somebody, saying, that over 1,200 Russian officers have been killed or wounded. You can do the enlisted man math from there.

The mathematics are as simple as they are frightening, for a Russian officer candidate. Reports also say that due to repeated attacks by drones. The drivers of those trucks along that forty-mile-long diversion north of Kyiv. Refuse to stay with their trucks and prefer to sleep in the nice, safe, frozen woods at night. The Russian northern convoy is Schwarzkopf’s fake amphibious attack. The Russians on the right, and the Byelorussians on the left, and then, Kyiv will be ours!

A sick old man is trying to rebuild his glory days with a dull-witted Soviet style army attack, with Khrushchev rhetoric and Brezhnev’s tanks. We don’t blow the whistle and go over the top of the trench anymore. Machine guns made that suicide. That style of war is as obsolete as bombing civilians. The Russians can bomb Ukraine, until no two bricks are still stuck together. But it won’t bring them any closer to winning the war. Bombing civilians didn’t work in London, and it didn’t work in Berlin or in Hanoi. It had the opposite affect, and only hardened their resolve.

The Russians have approximately 900 aircraft. On any given day, a third of those are down for maintenance. So, you have 600 aircraft available. One third of those are transports, bombers, and trainer aircraft. So, we are down to just 300 fighter aircraft. Just 300 fighter aircraft to cover all the security needs and soft spots, over all of continental Russia. Now subtract 46 from 300. At the current loss rates, the Russian air force will cease to be an effective fighter force within a month.

How bad is it? The Russians have brought in an armored train. Famous from old black and white, WW-2 movies of the 1940s. As seen on the late, late show, with Teli Savalas or Ernest Borgnine. It is not exactly clear, what the Russians intend on doing with an armored train. But the order said to send everything, so you get an armored train.  

Fighting the last 20^th century war, trying to resurrect a past that has now become antiquated, outdated, and obsolete. The Russians must conquer territory, but Ukraine need only kill Russians. Vlad has not only lost Ukraine, but he’s now also lost Belarus, and had better start looking over his shoulder, and start sleeping with the lights on. And better have somebody taste his food for him too, while your at it.