This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

 And then one day, out of the blue, the polarity of the whole world changed. “Oh, he’s genius, and I like him a lot.” But the world changed now and like Charles Lindbergh, maybe you’ll find out the hard way. Madison Cauthorn thinks Putin is a great fellow, and Zelensky is a crooked thug. The Republicans have a polarity problem. Step, step, right, now throw your legs high, and goose step like you mean it, girls!

Twump, a long time Putin admirer and protégé, was asked about Putin yesterday. And immediately went into the orange babble mode. DOES NOT COMPUTE; talk about windmills. These aren’t the droids you’re looking for. Captain to engine room, full reverse Mr. Scott! Ted Cruz is a  former used car salesman of the year to the blind. He heard all about Europe, wanting to wean itself from Russian oil. And he came up with a novel solution, west Texas crude. (Not now Ted)

Failing to understand the meaning of the word wean. I’m going to stop drinking. I’m going to change my life, not just change my brand. But not now Ted. Stop trying to sell insurance at a funeral. It is inappropriate behavior. “I’m really sorry to hear about your husband’s passing. And I was wondering… if you’re not doing anything Friday night. If you’d like to see a movie?”

Fifty something Republicans, voted against the aid package for Ukraine. While in the same breath, questioning why the Biden Administration won’t send those Polish fighter jets to Ukraine. Stuck with one foot in two worlds. “I’d like to co-sponsor this legislation, before I make a speech and vote against it.” Jan Paski had the best answer I’ve heard yet, “What do you suggest?”

But you got to do something! They are all experts at reviewing someone else’s handiwork, but have no ideas themselves. “Should we send weapons?” Yes, by all means, send weapons! “Then we have to pay for the weapons.” What? I can’t support that; Joe Biden is President. I could never face my constituents, if they ever found out I supported bi-partisan legislation with the Democrats! La-la-loyalty?

If I was any good at graphics, I’d make a Meme of Killer Kyle crying in the courtroom, photo shopped on to the uniform of a Ukrainian freedom fighter. “I really gotta go, my mom’s waiting for me! I’ll help you guys defend private property, some more tomorrow!” Super warriors and super patriots and heroes with a gun.

As the world’s media myopically focuses in on Ukraine, only Faux News focuses on the crisis of the truck convoy. It gave You Tube, some real interesting contrast. “Russian Forces Advance on Kyiv – MSNBC, Maternity Hospital Shelled – ABC News, Largest Humanitarian Crisis Since WWII – BBC, and Trucker Convoy finally arrives in Washington! – Faux News

It might have been a bigger deal had the polarity not changed. Little piss ants crying into their best little flowered aprons, about having to wear a mask. While people face a totalitarian nightmare of having their homes destroyed. And watching their little children murdered before their eyes.

But go ahead, drive your truck around D.C. and tell us all about your willingness to fight oppression. Don’t forget to hang all the appropriate regalia and ensigns on the vehicle, to correctly identify it. A Christian flag and a Twump flag, lest anyone should get confused and think this was ever really about wearing a mask. The White Supremacy Express nod, nod, wink, wink! Bob’s your uncle! (Honk, honk!)

Nothing but a spasm really, as the corpse begins to stiffen as the rigamortis sets in. “Hi, I’m Donald Twump and you may remember me as that guy kissing Vladimir Putin’s ass in Helsinki, giving away Syria, or trying to overthrow your government. But today, I’d like to talk to you about reverse mortgages.” The great fade away has begun.  That job you land because you used to be somebody important.

Twump’s Social media, social disease venture “Twuth”, is struggling to pick up steam, after a delayed and stunted opening. Act in haste and repent in bankruptcy court. Twump’s Twitter like website, never let the fact that Twitter has only made a profit in one year, stop them from moving forward. A profit Twitter immediately lost the following year. But this is Donald Twump and when Quinn the Eskimo gets here, all the pigeons gonna run to him. Then that polarity problem arose again.

A mere 300,000 subscribers, in a world where you can get a million subscribers, just rebuilding an old boat. As I understand it, you must sit through an interview with the former East German Stasi, before being granted full membership. This is a free speech platform and speech must be censored before the fact accordingly. In trouble, like a Russian helicopter on a clear day.

If they don’t control the speech, the Neo-Nazis, skin heads and White Supremists will take over the conversation. Spooking investors and commercial sponsors into running away, as fast as their fat little legs can carry therm. Then the Internet servers will bounce them. Then it’s back to square one and bankruptcy court. Even Twump himself has only added one “Twuth” to the site. It wasn’t love really; it was only a crush, only a passing fancy. “I’m bored, let’s do something else.”

Anyone who grew up around Chicago is familiar with Jay’s Potato Chips. But they weren’t always called Jay’s. Originally, they were called Jap’s Potato Chips, named after the founder Mr. Jap. But after December 7^th the company realized, that the polarity of the world had changed. And the company changed their name to Jay’s.  Realizing that no one was going to buy a potato chip or a political Party, appearing to support the enemy.

Seditious Republicans laugh and joke and dance on the head of a pin, as the world hangs precariously. “Zelensky is a crook and Putin is our boy.” Just as the Russians struggle in Ukraine, their allies the Republicans, do no better in Washington. Willing to foment WWIII, if only so they can use it against Joe Biden, in the mid-term elections.

“You know my fellow Americans; we wouldn’t be standing out here today in this radioactive wasteland. If Joe Biden hadn’t started World War III. We Republicans only wanted tax cuts and loosening of environmental legislation. But no, Joe Biden just had to go confront Vladimir Putin. We told him not too. We told him to be careful, sending those fighter planes from Poland, but now look what he’s done!”

Just three weeks ago, the Republicans all loved Twump and Putin. And questioned the validity of their own President. And yet today, can’t stop saluting the flag and portraying their patriotism for all to see. By driving around Washington DC in a truck and fighting oppression.

And then one day, out of the blue, the polarity of the whole world changed. Patriotism isn’t a garment to put on, only when it gets cold outside.