This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

“Beware the Ides of March.” Beware the Russian propaganda. The useful idiot and the stooge. According to Tucker Carlson, Tokyo Rose was just a misunderstood opinion host on a musical program. So beloved in Moscow, they mention Tucker in their dispatches. As the one American, they can really hang their hat on. Another dangerous intersection and another collision at the same intersection. Just last week, Russian propaganda collided with QAnon politics.

Putin began to claim all the same issues that QAnon was saying, as hand meets glove. It’s good to have friends. Friends who will fire missiles at the Kurds for you, or ask  Lil’ Rocket Boy to hold a missile test. Friends, who will try and take the heat off you, anyway they can.  

But Tucker’s pee, pee tape must be a real dandy, Mrs. Tucker take note. It’s dangerous thing to go ice skating on the lake, this late in the Spring. Defending the foulest villain to rise up on the world stage since the end of WWII, and do it every night for pay. And not even playing the musical hits the GI’s wanted to hear in between. But Tucker is the bottom, you also need a butter knife as well a sledgehammer.

Mr. Mike O’Hanlin works for the Brookings Institute, headquartered on DuPont Circle in Washington.  A public policy think tank. Mr. O’Hanlin has been a sitting in his tank, and he thinks he’s solved the problem of peace in Ukraine.  Appearing on CNBC, Mr. O’Hanlin explained, the war was going badly for the Russians and perhaps now, was the time offer reasonable terms that would  allow Mr. Putin to save face. Simply, offer him a golden bridge to victory.

Maybe, if we give Putin just what he wants, he will stop killing civilians. Now ole Mike, he wasn’t pro-Russia or anything like that. He was just a humanitarian, out to save lives by spoon-feeding a monster with just one more bite of Ukraine, and then he’ll just go away. (We promise.) We can stop this war if we just give him the Sudetenland again.

Ole Mike, he spoke in calm and pleasing tones. He never once screwed up his face to look like a baby soiling its diaper. This was a serious Washington think tank speaking, full of folks who’ve finished the twelfth grade and beyond, so they should know…right?

Mike was asked, but what if the monster makes a deal and then reneges on it again? Well, sometimes you just can’t tell about some things. I guess, we’ll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. But if Mr. Putin is willing to settle for victory, we can have peace.  Stooge or useful idiot?

I think that we have gone too far at this point, to just shake hands and make nice. A dictator has destroyed an innocent country, and someone will have to pay the bills. At this point in the war, can the world allow Vladimir Putin to remain in power under any circumstances? Could we make a deal today, only to perhaps fight the second Ukraine War, five years from now? So, you see the illusion of Russian power exposed on the world stage. The end of the road for the armored vehicle and the ground support helicopter.

 But Mike thinks, maybe we just ought to give in. The Russians have asked China for non-lethal military assistance. As in, FOOD! Groceries, grits, victuals, and grub. Asking specifically, for Chinese MRE’s Meals Ready to Eat. “Every night General Tao’s chicken!”

Videos have emerged, showing Russian foodstuffs, seven years beyond their expiration date. Prisoners report assassination squads are gunning down the deserters. Implying that there are enough deserters around, to make that worth their time. Cold and hungry, lost, and afraid. They hid in the forest for four days, until they could surrender to the Ukrainians.

Going so badly for the Russians, that their only friends left in the whole world are North Korea, Iran, ISIS, Faux News and the Republican Party. Obviously, Tucker has a boss. He isn’t free to advocate for anything on his own. The wind-up toy must first be wound up. But what kind of boss would let you play with the toaster in the bathtub?

There is no red line for the apologist and the useful idiots. Faux News reporters harass Jan Paski, demanding to know if there is a red line that Putin had better not cross. As curious as the Faux news crew are to find out. I’m certain that Mr. Putin would love to know that information as well. The NATO policy is never you mind. Fuck around and find out! But yesterday, the UN secretary gave us a hint. If the Russians use chemical weapons, the situation will be reevaluated. Meaning Ukraine will get it’s no-fly zone, with all that would entail.  

Military experts estimate in seven to ten days, the Russian forces will be exhausted. Out of food and ammunition, running out of expensive cruise missiles. Running out of time and losing strength by the hour. The Russian losses cannot be replaced, and their losses are substantial.  Withering on the vine as time grows short, as the mud grows thicker as the ground begins to thaw.

A Quinnipiac poll finds, if invasion by foreign troops ever came to America, 52% of Democrats would flee the country, while 68% of Republicans would stay and fight.  The word is despicable, trying to divide Americans courage by their political affiliation.

Bar stool Johnny and Marlboro Mary is ready to fight them Russian’s tooth and nail, right after they finish their beer. “I got me a baseball bat behind the seat of my  truck. No sir! Not one foot of this trailer park Vladimir!” I suppose it would be too obvious to mention how we’ve already seen their brand of  patriotism in action.

But there is that coincidence again, how QAnon theories align with Russian theories, that align with Tucker Carlson and Faux News theories. That align with Donald Twump and Republican theories.

Cheerful supporters of a murderous war criminal dictator. While they attack their own President around the clock. While they attack their fellow Americans by questioning their patriotism, and showcasing the awful truth about Faux News. So, as you are on the lookout for Russian propaganda today, be on the lookout for Russian propaganda, delivered by the Americans over at Pravda on the Hudson.