This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Ron DeSantis is squirting tears again. “Waaaa!” I’m so strong and so tough. I complain and cry and make unfounded accusations. Sobbing Ronnie says, “if Hunter Biden were a Republican (sniff) he’d be in jail by now.” No proof, no explanations just tears and angst. “They’re picking on us again mama!”

Yeah, they’ll be slapping cuffs on Hillary Clinton any day now. But Republicans will believe anything time after time, as paranoia is a part of their DNA.  A small crowd of Texans gathered to support Ken Paxton the impeached Attorney General the state legislature could no longer avoid.

Waving Trump flags and “Read your Bible” signs the mutant miscreants wailed. “They’re picking on us again mama!” The only real question is how many attendants were actually paid staffers and how many had just failed the gullibility test.

But as Mark Twain once remarked, “Lies, damn lies and statistics.” Polling shows blubbering Ronnie in a dead heat with Joe Biden hypothetically. Could a frog defeat an elephant if the frog were the same size as the elephant? It is a pointless question as there is no such thing. Before trail of tears Ronnie goes head-to-head with anybody, he must first win the Republican nomination.

Now, how long do you suppose a reporter could keep their job by saying this guy is already sweating like a whore in church? So, reporters deal in hypothetical polling as it encourages Republicans and ignites Democrats. An independent poll of 1,200 registered Republicans in Florida found??? But maybe, they forget to mention some of the minor details. Like the registered Republicans and the Florida part.

Tear-stained Ronnie is the frog fighting the elephant, Donald Trump. Only Ronnie is the size of a regular frog. He must defeat Donald Trump, and that just ain’t going to happen. Which disciple could replace Jesus? Who replaced Jim Jones or David Koresh? It’s a cult of personality and Ronnie ain’t got one.

Humpty Trumpty has the inside track plus a miles ahead start. Trump is the old, grizzled veteran and crying Ronnie is the new comer making rookie mistakes. Somebody show me one state where blubbering Ron DeSantis will defeat Trump. I just don’t see one. And that means Ron’s just jerking the crowd off.

Trump can’t win a national election, and Ronnie can’t beat Trump. So, as we head off into the campaign season the two will bash each other like a Punch and Judy show. Certain to alienate both camps against the other. This is the Party of accusation and recrimination, and we never compromise. Trump threatens a hit list on the Department of Justice and the FBI IF reelected. A huge IF!

Crying Ronnie promises to eliminate leftist wokeism, whatever that is. Like the war on terror, it is a war on feelings. It is a hard fire to start and even a harder fire to sustain. Like all good Fascists, it requires an enemy that Ronnie can blubber about ruining America. But in the first amendment case Ronnie faces with Disney how do you think that will pan out? Did Ronnie retaliate against Disney for having their own point of view? It sure looks like it.

But if Disney prevails, Ron of wet drawers can cry. “They’re picking on us again mama!” They’re all crooked leftists out to destroy America with their woke ideology! The election denying cry baby mentality. Arizona Republican Kari Lake lost her last strawman court challenge and quietly slunk away. No defiant statement this time and not even a “Curse you Red Baron! I’ll be back.”

A negative plus a negative is still a negative. Good luck running on a platform of “They’re picking on us again mama!” Voters asking themselves, should I vote for Ron DeSantis? They’re picking on him, you know.

In the Republican manufactured debt crisis, the Republicans have blinked. Invertebrate Kevin McCarthy had promised the wing nut faction he would pull off this sham. But it was a losing strategy. As every time the Republicans have shut down the government or threatened to shut down the government. It has cost them in the next election.

If you want to know who won the fight, look at who is angry about it and look at Joe Biden’s smile. This was all a part of the plan to bolster the Republican nominee in 2024, and it failed miserably. There are two factions inside the Republican Party.

The safe districts where Republicans can openly support neo-Nazis and White Supremacists and then there are the moderate districts where such behavior is political suicide. The Republican margins are too thin to draw the moderates over to the dark side.

It is a Party at war with itself. Lauren (low rent) Boebert barely won reelection last time. Before her divorce and before her teenage son impregnated a 15-year-old minor. Boebert is in a safe district but has balled things up so badly, it will be close. Matt Gaetz has been unusually quiet except for giving away the game calling the budget debate a ploy. Loose lips sink ships.

But Gaetz is in a safe district and can say or do whatever he likes. Like Tommy Tumorville, as long as he has an R behind his name, he’s safe. Alabama is a state than ran a pedophile for that seat and almost won.

Donald Trump at best has the support of 50% of the Republican Party. It means it will be virtually impossible for Reich’s Fuhrer Ronnie to win the nomination. Trump has so alienated enough members of his own Party that DeSantis feels it’s practical to run. But neither wing of the Republican party will accept or fully support the other.

The Republican House Crazy Caucus has failed yet again. Hunter Biden still walks the streets a free man. Tara Reade the woman who accused Joe Biden of sexual assault has defected to Russia. Reade praised Russian spy Marina Butina who once suckered Republicans herself. And Reade said she left the United States because she feared for her life.

Ouch, defecting to Russia huh? Did Hillary have her on her hit list? More likely, Reade feared being charged in her nefarious scheme. Rudy Giuliani has been disbarred and tells the judge he’s almost broke. How far behind can the My Pillow guy be? The Republican Rocking horse is falling apart.

The Republican have lost three elections in a row, and the upcoming election finds them even weaker still. No accomplishments to talk about only stunts and braggadocio. Jim Jordan’s dozens of secret witnesses turn into three and then disappear into the mist.

Not since the Hindenburg approached the mooring mast, has disaster appeared so imminent. Anyone who tells you DeSantis could run neck and neck with Joe Biden should be asked. Could a frog defeat an elephant if it was the same size as an elephant?

“They’re picking on us again mama!”