Imagine that through random serendipity, you’ve just won an all-expense paid two-week luxury vacation package to beautiful Wuhan, China! Pack your bags everybody! Exactly, now you know what it’s like to work on the Chinese Tourist board. Since the Covid-19 pandemic, tourism in China is off by 95 to 99%. North American and European tours are said to have ceased to exist.
Empty airports, empty restaurants, empty taxi cabs and empty hotel rooms. All added to by a manufacturing slow down, disastrous typhoons and floods. Just sayin, it could be much worse for us. Could you prophecy what this political debacle would be like if it were to be played out against the backdrop of an economy mired in deep recession? That’s a paralyzing thought.
The hapless eight minus the orange one, prepare for the Milwaukee milieu mired in the maudlin mendacity of Republican debate. The Balsa wood of Republican Presidential timber. But without Trump on stage, it’s the children’s table at Thanksgiving. With Trump there live, it’s pile on Don night. Each nothing burger taking turns either attacking or protecting the orange planetoid. But these things require delicacy. There is a full bus load of Republican candidates to choose from.
And while most of the Republican candidates still want to bear Trump’s children. A few read the tea leaves and triangulate the future. So, it is very important that sentiment be stifled and limited to one. Because otherwise, Trump won’t participate. Only Chris Christie has openly called Trump a liar. Former Congressman Will Hurd didn’t make the cut. Neither did Asa Hutchinson, both openly critical of the former President.
You must be at least this loyal to participate. You must have one percent of the vote in three polls or three percent of the vote in one poll. Or write “one percent of the vote” on the three by five postcard and mail it to P.O. box 45 Rockefeller Center, New York, New York. You must have received donations from 40,000 people, including 200 unique donors from 20 or more states. Low comedy is the best kind. I’d take one New York or California over five or six of your South Dakotas or Utah’s.
Let’s see; we’ve got a couple of mayors and a Governor from the Styx. A preacher, business man, car thief and a radio talk show host. People the nation has never heard of before. That 200 donors from 20 states could be a hurdle. Even if the home folks love you, what do a bunch of strangers think of you a thousand miles away? Kind of hard for the former mayor of Miami to fundraise in Montana this early in the race. Streamlining the race by shaving off the favorite sons and newcomers.
Suppose you were in the cockpit of an airliner watching the pilot. Would you ever feel empowered enough to try to fly the plane yourself? “Say, let me take over. I’ve been watching you and I think I could do it better.” Vivek Ramaswamy list as his trade “Entrepreneur.”
Entrepreneur, my mother would say. “Tell us what you really do for a living or get the hell out of here!” And he might be the best one of those that there ever was. But he’s running for President, not “Head Entrepreneur.” The two jobs are not even distantly related. Give Tiger Woods the football! He’s an athlete!
The ludicrous idea that the presidency of the United States requires no formal experience at all. Just show up at the bank downtown or McDonald’s headquarters and fill out a job application to be the President. Under experience put “None.” The security guard would then escort you out the door to your car. But these guys! These guys with a straight face look you right in the eye and say, “I wanna be your next President!” I was a Congressman from Texas or South Carolina or Governor or something once for a couple of years and know I could do it!
It becomes laughable. A pantomime even without the obvious elephant in the room. These people couldn’t draw flies with jar of honey on a hot summer day. Once you get past DeSantis and Christie there aren’t a lot of experience laden resumes left on the table. Nobody in a realistic grown-up world believes you can go from mayor or entrepreneur to the President of the United States. Either they’re crazy or think we are.
Richard Nixon had been a congressman, a Senator from California and former Vice President. Barry Goldwater was a major General in the army. He was also an important Arizona Senator for years when he ran for the Presidency. Mayor of Miami, this Goldwater guy was moving armies around. They might have been cracked and I might have disagreed with them immensely, but they had resume.
The closest we have today is Mike Pence, he had a resume once. But there was that unfortunate ugly incident on January 6th that ruined it for him by doing the right thing. That is fucked up. This guy is hated by Republicans at large for following the law. Then to turn around with a straight face and run for President. (Insurrection? What insurrection?) Like Steve Bartman running for Mayor of Chicago.
There is no way Mike Pence will win the nomination short of a nuclear apocalypse. Pence has name recognition but still hasn’t a prayer. (Pun intended) So, any candidates running at near or behind Pence are only playing a game. Narcissistic enough to believe that the magic would happen, or lightning would strike. Their message would resound in the hearts of the little people and with a groundswell of public adulation and acclaim, they would be swept into the White House. “Stay golden Ponyboy.”
So, what are we doing here? Why are these people all pretending to run for President at our door? Just give them a piece of candy and direct them to the house next door. A debate by the least popular Republican candidates! Must be polling under ten percent to participate! One Percent of the vote? My Aunt Fanny could get one percent. Who is a viable candidate at one percent?
I’d wager Fox News would bail on this if they could. Seventy-one percent of Republicans recently polled say they see Donald Trump as the source of all light and heat in the universe. And they really don’t care all that much if the Republican Party rots on the vine and dies. They’re Trumpers not Republicans and if Trump’s not there, it’s not a debate or a political Party. Methinks the Republican Party could be suffering from an identity crisis.
“Because there are three classes of intellects: one which comprehends by itself; another which appreciates what others comprehend; and a third which neither comprehends by itself nor by the showing of others; the first is the most excellent, the second is good, the third is useless.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli
This Carbon Based Life 
Leave a comment