This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Sometimes I just want to laugh and then I remember that this is all too real and there is no escape from it. It makes me fearful for the future and not so prone to careless laughter. Donald Trump’s brain trust cracker jack legal team undercuts Trump’s own argument.

Practicing in the court of Fox News opinion Trump attorney Alina Habba says “Trump doesn’t need prep time. Because he (Trump) is incredibly intelligent, and he knows the ropes.” All while Trump’s legal team is asking the court for more time to prepare.

That’s so dumb, that’s just gotta make you smile. But it gets even better as Habba offers, “ if this were a normal person.” That’s funny on so many levels. And it’s definitely not about a normal person, I think we’ve found a spot of common ground. We can build on that.

Habba was so busy kissing her boss’s ass, she inadvertently helped to sink his boat in court. “But, I’m talking about Shaft?” I was just praising the boss and you know how much he likes that. The boss likes attorney’s who kiss his ass. A legal strategy of he’s too good to have done that. A blunderbuss of mindless infantile projection.

The Trump debacle or the Trump abyss has stolen most of the thunder inside the beltway. Can’t hardly get any attention when even a cancer diagnosis is just a news blurb. The news is all Trump news. Before long, I imagine, we will all begin to tire of it all. But for the Republicans in Congress Trump’s travails are going to become extremely tiresome. As their reelection campaigns become a mere Trump referendum surfing on the waves of public opinion sandwiched between Trump and the law.

Take, for example, the disappearance of George Santos. Gosh, that seems like such a long time ago. But George is still drawing a paycheck while impersonating a Congressman in Washington. A major scandal in any other time that can’t get the attention it deserves. But George soldiers on in a plastic artificial way pretending he is just like all the other kids, when secretly he knows he’s not.

George is facing an entire host of federal charges for wire fraud and money laundering. Campaign finance violations that center around shoddy book keeping and unexplained funds. George tells the press he wouldn’t consider taking a plea deal, but you never know. So, if you’re out there and you have a plea deal for George, he’s listening.

The gears of inevitability are in the offing. His time at the ball as the Cinderella Congressman is almost up. It’s nearly midnight and his chances at reelection are microscopic and his chances for conviction multiplied as the day of reckoning approaches. He’s disposable, a fluke. No point in trying to save him, he’s done. About to be abandoned to his fate by the Party that used him.

“Sure George, come on in and have a seat. You’re one of us now!”

George was the toast of the town there for a minute, but that was so fourteen minutes ago. Now, he just toast. Once all brassy and sassy, he’s now grown quiet and reflective as a man facing hard time in prison should be. About to be scrapped off their Republican shoes and forgotten about like so many others. But because of the Trump legal circus now is a good time to part company. Leaving George feeling a little insecure.

Mind you, I’m not asking for a plea deal. But if you’ve got one, I’d sure be willing to come by and look it over. You never know!

Vivek Ramaswamy earned his first “Pants on Fire” award from PolitiFact. (We’re all so proud) After claiming environmental law causes more death and injury than the catastrophes it tries to prevent. Why sure, that makes perfect sense, not.

Make outrageous unproven assertions claiming them to be true, while confidently dismissing all other possibilities. Vivek runs on the big tobacco logic. No study or research is ever good enough to satisfy them. By saying there is no climate change. The coded message to the billionaires is, I’m your boy. To the Fox News crowd, it allows for the ability to pretend for a while longer in a nihilist symphony of “It Ain’t so.” Jesus wouldn’t ever let that happen.

Here today and gone tomorrow. As Miami Mayor Francis Suarez suspended his campaign just two months after it began. Donald of Orange says he’d be open to talking to Vivek about the VP slot on the Republican ticket. Trump is trying to degrade Ramaswamy right out of the gate. I might consider him for a Junior position, depending on how he does in his interview. We might be willing to try him out and see how he does temporarily. Generally, you don’t talk about running mates until the convention.

This is Trump messing with Vivek and any day now we should see a new adorable nickname appear for Vivek. It’s a point of recognition to be proud of. Vivek has reached the upper echelons and garnered the eye of the king by his mention. It also disrupts the disintegrating DeSantis campaign as Vivek gets “Good” Trump and Ron DeSanctimonious gets “Bad” Trump. Petting one while kicking the other.

A tragic comic opera where Trump and Republicans pretend everything is under control. Mark Meadows testified for four hours attempting to convince a judge his initial legal theory was a crock of shit. Proving yet again, why it is dangerous to let the accused testify if they don’t have too. Meadows just spent thousands of dollars undercutting his own position in court. They must have felt that they had to go that route, or the game is up. A desperate course for a desperate defendant.

One by one pulled in by their clothes into gears of inevitability which will grind them all up. But in the meantime, entertainment. How low is your life, when the court testimony focuses on JUST HOW DRUNK WAS Rudy Giuliani? Was he shit faced balls to the wall slurry sloppy drunk? Or was he just buzzed drunk and ready for Karaoke? Imagine this your life! Was Rudy so drunk no reasonable person wouldn’t pay any attention to him?

“I was, was, I was the Mayor of New York City once, you know. They used to tell me; they’d tell me. They’d say, they’d say, they’d say to me. Rudy they’d say,  you, you, you sure are doing a good, good job as mayor. Keep up the good work Rudy they’d say. Now, listen up, listen up everybody. I said to them listen up…I’ve got a plan of how we can still win the election.

Quiet everyone, Rudy’s got a plan! And he’s not too drunk to explain it yet.