This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Donald Trump says he wants to take the stand and testify his own self under oath. There’s some good news! Huh?  To give us naysayers and federal prosecutors a good stern lecture and a piece of his fertile mind. “Trump to testify and incrimination and hilarity to ensue.” You will see the Sphinx swimming over from Egypt to testify before Donald Trump ever mutters a single word in a courtroom. If he’s going to do that, why not just plead guilty and save us our time and his money?

The things Donald Trump will say. “Oh boy, he can’t wait to take the stand.” It’s the same old scam “Meet me at the Four Seasons at four o’clock and I’ll show you the evidence and maybe hair dye. But they never show the evidence even after their pillow company goes bust. Trump just can’t wait for his day in court, while attempting with all his legal might to delay his court dates for years if possibile. Because he just can’t wait to testify.

The second E. Jean Carroll defamation lawsuit has been green lighted to move forward and looks ominous for the former president. But at this point,  a multimillion-dollar defamation judgement appears minor involving only money. Merely parking tickets to contend with, when also looking at years in prison.

The siege mentality of fighting an eight-legged legal octopus must be trying on the constitution of  a man of 77. A perpetual football game that never ends and you just scrimmage forever. With plenty of evidence already on file. Trump’s attorney explained to him what would happen if Trump didn’t return the documents. Trump appears to acknowledge them. It’s what they sometimes call in the legal profession as “A damning evidence of guilt.”  I want you to find me, er, a ….11,780 (pause) votes.

They have the video of Trump directing his employees hiding the documents. They have the evidence Trump tried to have the security videos erased once Trump realized he was on them! “Oh Shit! I forgot all about the security cameras!” There is a growing crowd of suspects facing various levels of federal legal jeopardy. It’s either you or Uncle Billy, somebody’s going to prison here. And if you don’t want it to be you. Now is a good time to start talking, before someone else tells us the story the wrong way.

Their legal machinations of trying to separate their cases from the conspiracy are literally squirming on the floor pleading for salvation. “Oh, please let me go!” The quickness of the Fulton County judge’s answer illustrates the Hail Mary quality of a futile exercise. And they knew it probably wouldn’t work going in. But when you’re going to try everything, you gotta start with something first as an opening move.

Why shouldn’t everyone want to separate themselves from the conspiracy, cause then, there’s no conspiracy. Mark Meadows asked to be excused because he was only following the commandant’s orders. Meadows wanted his case in Federal Court where they do hard time in soft prisons.

But conspiracy and conspirators begin looking like a trembling gelatinous blob or a building shaking under the weight before collapsing in slow motion. A piece falls off here or the foundation cracks a little there. The situation degraded day by day, slowly eroding little by little.

People recanting their testimony and people agreeing to talk. History might someday call this the “Texting Coup.” The conspirators who wrote everything down and just had to tell everybody about everything. I myself was shocked by their lack of knowledge. Texting is like a tattoo, it’s a permanent record of what you said. And they talked, as if no one was listening.

Some of the fake Georgia electors have claimed ignorance claiming they were misled, deluded, or duped. “The phone call mentioned something about a free bar-b-que grill or three days in Cancun, if we’d listen to a short presentation and sign some papers. You’ll have to excuse me, your honor. I’m just a little slow on the uptake sometimes. I plead ignorance your honor, dumb as a post. That’s me! Only… let me go!”

He’s a good boy your honor, who fell in with a bad crowd. Send him home your honor, where a little light is still burning in the mansion window. He knows he’s done wrong your honor; he’s never been involved in sedition before. He’s a first offender and promises never to do it again. Squirming on the floor begging for forgiveness because they got them all by the short hairs. They signed their names to a forged state document and that’s a straight up crime. It’s another of those “Damning evidence” things.

It doesn’t matter what you said you were going to do with it or the circumstances you might use it under. It doesn’t matter if you were just fooling around. It’s a document that claims to be the voice of the state of Georgia. And if it’s not the lawful voice of the state of Georgia, see the Block Warden about your cell assignment.

They wrote things down and kept notes, even tweeting proudly about their actions. This is a house of cards about to crumble. Too much evidence and too many vulnerable suspects. Everybody knew about the coup, as the Republicans Senators sat with their fingers crossed in the Senate chamber. Hoping Mike Pence would play ball and they could get going with the coup.

It’s so cute, now they’re going to indict Hunter Biden on an eleven-year-old gun charge for a lying on a government form. Not for trying to overthrow the government or anything like that. But when the government form asked the question, “Do you like to Party hard sometimes?” Hunter checked the box  no when he should have checked it yes. The Republicans want to impeach Joe Biden, though admittedly they don’t have any real evidence of any wrongdoing.

Peter Navarro was charged with contempt of a Congress for ignoring a subpoena. He was tried and found guilty. Navarro then tells the press. “We knew going in what the verdict would be.” Well, so did I. Guilty as charged. He did the crime, and everybody knew it. Navarro attorneys offered no evidence of his innocence and called no witness to refute the charges on his behalf. Which inevitably leads to a shamefaced obvious guilty verdict.

But they must do something to change the narrative in a reflective spasm of sudden understanding. All the news is Trump, and all the Trump news is bad news. Impeach Joe Biden! He had left before the medal of Honor ceremony was over! But Joe did show up for the ceremony, right? And the hero was properly decorated by the President, yes? Who only left before they said the, ah mens? Somebody Impeach Joe Biden quick, before the spotlight falls on us!

Real Kübler-Ross stages of grief stuff. Denial, anger, bargaining, conviction and appeal. The five stages of guilt.