This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

It boggles the mind in its Newtonian, stuptonian backwoods exploded idiocy. Cousin Kevin McCarthy announces an impeachment inquiry of Joe Biden, admittedly without any real evidence of any wrongdoing. It’s a trip to the dead letter office. You’re not going to find anything, and you might look dumb while you’re looking for it. It is a path fraught with peril holding out little opportunity for success.

Even Republican observers question going down an empty rabbit hole looking for polar bears. But that’s not all that dumb politically. History is littered with the politically dumb and what makes this special is the Dumb Hall of Fame is already setting aside space for a new display. Matt Gaetz and Marge Tater Greene are fighting over the title “Stupidest Congress person yet.”

The duo taller than they are bright are publicly arguing about who thought about impeaching Joe Biden first!

When @SpeakerMcCarthy makes his announcement in moments, remember that as I pushed him for weeks, @kilmeade said I was: “Speaking into the wind on impeachment. Turns out, the wind may be listening!” – Matt Gaetz

Speaking to the wind? I bet you like I, didn’t think Matt held such poetry in his little Eddie Munster looking soul.

Correction my friend. I introduced articles of impeachment against Joe Biden for his corrupt business dealings in Ukraine & China while he was Vice President on his very first day in office. You wouldn’t cosponsor those, and I had to drag you kicking and screaming to get you to cosponsor my articles on the border. Who’s really been making the push? – Marge Traitor Greene

Now, now, you two, no arguing over who thought of it first when you watched Trump get impeached twice and swore your revenge. This has been in their plans all along. Under the spreading chestnut tree, I impeach you and you impeach me. Revenge politics best served loud. Long on innuendo and theory and short on facts. And they aren’t just taking credit for it. Now,  they’re fighting over the bragging rights. The Guinness Book of Records people have been notified.

Under Dumbest Living Congressional Politicians – Matt Gaetz and Marge Traitor Greene or should that rightly be Tater Greene and Matt Eddie Munster Gaetz?

Senate Republicans are largely quiet, as in, not touch it with a ten-foot pole quiet. House Republicans aren’t even sure if they have the votes for an inquiry. Tater and Eddie are already fighting over whose idea it was first before it’s even a sure thing. Cousin Kevin only said he’d talk about it. Kevin is hedging his bets in case of failure, bail and run away. Well, I guess we talked about it.

But the insecticide twins have been after Cousin Kevin relentlessly since day one to start an impeachment inquiry. Evidence? Anyone can get a conviction with evidence. What’s evidence got to do with it?  It’s showtime! Yes, the chair recognizes Ms. Greene for three minutes and then three minutes for Mr. Gaetz. They don’t see the danger, only a vehicle for their own fundraising and aggrandizement, while serving their lord and master Donald Trump.

Dividing the Republican highway still further between the legal perils of Trump and proceeding with the legal perils of an impeachment of Joe Biden without any evidence. This whole fishing expedition is likely to end up like the film “Deliverance” with somebody squealing and everybody sorry they’d gone fishing.

This seems like a good idea to them because they have so few ideas to consider. They’re more concerned with how it will look to their base. Than to consider how this will look in the larger scheme of things. Trump warned them last month on his Orwellian Truth website “Either IMPEACH the BUM, or fade into OBLIVION. THEY DID IT TO US.” US means him, Donald Trump.

Get busy! You’ve got your orders! Impeach him before I get angry and start throwing things.

Looking spiteful, petty and childish, while Donald Trump faces 91 charges. The Republicans will now attempt to impeach Joe Biden for nothing. Just because they’re angry and want their revenge and it will look good in the monthly newsletter.

Maybe write a new book, “My Idea First!”  The stirring true story of my struggle to receive the personal attention I deserved, when everyone was taking credit for all my good ideas.

With a five-seat majority, some would counsel Republicans offering some gratuitous impossible legislative program to run on in 2024. You know, tax cuts for everybody! Instead, they offer a poison pill of the pointless petty politics of revenge impeachment.

Meanwhile, Lauren Boebert says, “Hold my beer!” Lauren and date (She’s divorced now fellas and out on the town. See your doctor, soon.) were asked to leave a downtown Denver theater. As in bounced, axed, deep sixed and walked to the door by security for vaping and being loud and boisterous.

The couple was warned during the intermission and ejected during the second act. Security cameras show Boebert twirling under the arm of her date as they were shown to the door.

It’s almost as if she didn’t care she was making a public spectacle of herself. Ejected from a theater in the second act of a Broadway play with very expensive tickets. They call Denver the mile high city and some could be higher than that still.  

Manchurian Candidates called to attention by their master, “Red Queen! Red Queen! Impeach, impeach take your shot! Leading an elephant safari to the mythical city of golden truth and knowledge somewhere off somewheres. Where nobody knows where it is and coming back empty handed.

Don’t promise them what you can’t deliver going into an election year with the most devise candidate in American history leading the Party. Creating a failure spiral of Republicans can’t win cause the game is fixed against them.

They couldn’t impeach Joe Biden once, and they impeached Donald Trump twice! Trump uses his power proxies and influence to muddy the political landscape, so he doesn’t look quite so filthy and corrupt. Trump had to kick them in the ass to get them started. But they’ve got the hang of it now.

They’re being sent on a kamikaze mission to sink Joe Biden or die trying. All to save their god/king and to stick their head in the lion’s mouth for the emperor’s pleasure. Unaware of how it looks to others.