This Carbon Based Life

How big is my ambition?

By David Glenn Cox

Honorary Lilliputian Ron DeSantis says, Donald Trump has zero chance of being elected if convicted of a felony. Give credit where credit is due, Ron knows a thing or two about zero chance of being elected.

The Florida board of Education has banned over 300 books from school libraries and a new school year is upon us. Ron held a press conference with his made for TV health advisor, just to advise Florida residents NOT to get vaccinated. You don’t want to let these things get ahead of you. Must tell the public right away NOT to get vaccinated, before this vaccination craze takes off and gets out of hand. Ron knows or thinks he knows; he did real good with his pro Covid positioning in the Party during the pandemic.

And with the Covid numbers on the rise, it’s about time to ride that hobby horse again. Sparking as best he can, trying to reignite his failing campaign fires. The problem isn’t that Ron is running a distant second. It’s running a distant second to a man charged with racketeering. How embarrassing for him. Just think, if it wasn’t for that felonious criminal, he almost might be a shoe in!

Like Miller beer or Marlboro cigarettes, Ron is a gateway drug or a phase that some people go through. A subculture, the thinking man’s Trump. He’s action man! (anatomically correct action figure sold separately) He’s banning books and taking names! He’s putting the state’s largest employer to the lash. He’s running off the tourists and encouraging disease. So why don’t they love him?

They like his positions well enough, and he says the right things and everything. But he’s that kid in high school who picked his nose and talked to himself under his breath all the time, and nobody liked all grown up. Socially damaged and psychically scarred. Forever dissociative with a drive to connect with the people and to rule over them like the peons they are. “Ha, Ha! How wrong you were! Who is sitting at the head of the cool kid’s table now?”

Everyone’s second choice through early name recognition. Ronnie did well using his office to generate early media headlines. Attacking Disney for having their own opinion or kicking the public schools in the nuts. Ron managed to make a big splash getting his name before the public. But the longer he stays the more permanently second choice Ron becomes.

Let’s take a look at Ron’s point here; that Trump is most likely unelectable and telling us subliminally, “So, you should vote for me!” But does that logic hold? If Trump were suddenly kidnapped by aliens and taken to their galaxy far, far away. To be served up at an alien luau as the main course, does Ron DeSantis become the nominee by default? That’s an interesting question, isn’t it?

It would be a complete reshuffling of the deck. And Trump might be forced to exit the field at any hour as all bets are off at this time. At the eleventh-hour, Republicans could find themselves without a Presidential nominee. And in the event the Presidential nominee is taken ill, taken to jail, or taken by aliens. Does the number two candidate automatically become the Presidential nominee? Just pick somebody quick, Okay, you and you!

Noticeable that the gaggle of also rans retreads and wishes they wases, together equal roughly 50% of the Republican vote. Half the Party wants Trump, and the other half wants anyone but Trump, but just not any of these guys. Should the lightning, the courts or the aliens strike, one of these Republican candidates could have the nomination thrust upon them suddenly. The part of Donald Trump will be played tonight by an understudy.

What of the fallout? How many Trump voters would abstain from voting altogether in protest to their orange Jesus being taken away by the black robed demons of Pilate? How many would suddenly rally around Ron DeSantis? “Yeah! Ron, oh boy!” Yep, sheep to the slaughter, the charge of the light Brigade. Al Smith and FDR or Barry Goldwater and William E. Miller.

If this new break were to occur and Trump were removed like an eight ball from the table would Ron DeSantis rise or fall? Would they all just fall into line and say, “Okay, him.” Or would some new madness arise? The enthusiasm gap is noticeable and pronounced. Asa Hutchinson or Nikki Haley? They ain’t much but they’re cute and almost likeable. And these two put Ron DeSantis in the personality shade. The general public just doesn’t like him and there ain’t nothing can be done about it.

Clara Bow was once famous as the “It” girl in Hollywood, as she just had “It.” Ron DeSantis is the “Not it” boy as he has “Not it” famous and written all over him. Clara Bow was the model for the cartoon Betty boop, and one can only imagine the cartoon Ron DeSantis would inspire. “Hi, I’m Ronnie Reich’s fuhrer and I want to be your next overlord and master! That’s a sugary drink, huh?”

Leaving it all in the hands of the courts and let us not forget. Trump has the means and ways to flee the scene after copping a plea, into the welcoming arms of Russia or Dubai. Don’t put anything passed him. He’s not going to jail. No sir, not for one second. The photo taken in Fulton County says it all.

And Mitt Romney says it all too and some fear he says too much, in Mitt’s new upcoming kiss my ass and tell all book. Mitt will be leaving the Senate at the end of this term, so figured now would be a good time to point out some of the assholes. Mitt was once Republican presidential timber himself once. But that was in the old days back before the Republican world became all Electric Trumpy Land, when he was a proud strong Bob Dole Republican.

When Eisenhower left office, he made his famous warning about the military industrial complex. This is Mitt’s minor equivalent, warning of the path the Republican Party is treading. “I done told y’all and told y’all about hanging around Donald Trump. I’m out of here! I’m tired of talking to you. I’m going on to the house now. There just ain’t no point in talking to any of you crazy mother fuckers anymore. There just ain’t no saving any of you!”

“When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends.” ― Mark Twain