This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

There is a sense of inevitability about it all. The pressure building and the famous dominoes are beginning to fall. The DeSantis campaign has fallen and can’t get up, wracked with its own mendacity. Former Trump attorney Ty Cobb says, “Trump told us to do it! It was all Trump’s idea! We were all just innocent pawns.”

Oh, where did you go Lin Wood? The Trump attorney’s name appears on a Georgia state witness list. Oh, that’s where you went. Wood immediately insists, “he didn’t flip on Donald Trump,” So what? I’ve got thirty pieces of silver, that don’t prove nothing. His words he said, but is unsure right at this moment, exactly what he did testify too. Not having a copy of his court transcript handy and not wanting to get it wrong. But he’s sure he didn’t flip on Trump. (Laughing nervously) “What would I flip on Trump for? Ha, ha I don’t know nothin.”

 It’s gotten so bad, new sex charges against Rudy Giuliani groping Cassidy Hutchinson. A woman less than half Rudy’s age is the third story of day, making barely a ripple. With other Trump attorney John Eastman supposedly in the room watching Rudy do it!

A sense that it has all gone wrong. The happy times are over, and it’s all gone sour. That the Trump dream is dying and losing steam. For the hoosters in the hustings all is still well, but at the lowest levels of the Fuhrer bunker staff. It is common knowledge, “Ooh, ooh that smell, can’t you smell that smell?” They’s sides being drawn up and which side of the Courtroom are you on comrade?

Mitch McConnell, yes Mitch McConnell, says a government shutdown is a loser for Republicans. Just like it was in 1995-96 and just like it was 2013 and just like it was in 2018-19. As Republicans lament to themselves, we always get the blame.(always victims) Mitch is calling out a two-minute warning. Waving frantically to Thelma and Louise as they roar past headed for the cliff of another government shutdown.

Mark Meadows tries his longshot court appeal, after losing his longshot court case with its novel longshot legal theory. Meadows claims organizing sedition is a legitimate part of the Chief of Staff’s job. Meadows maintains you can’t separate the two! If organizing the President’s calendar includes organizing sedition, then that’s part of the job. Meadows wants his case tried in the Federal court where he can be protected and claim immunity from RICO charges.

Republicans from districts carried by Joe Biden met on the House Capitol steps the other day. (Symbolic, huh?) You’re going to have to go outside if you’re going to say such things here in fantasyland. But what they wanted to say was, “We’re not with those guys! We don’t know them. We don’t want a shutdown either, so don’t take it out on us. That is a collapsing front with loyalist troops willing to defect. A crack in the ice with a perpetual sense that something bad is about to happen.

The Harper Valley PTA passes judgement on Lauren Boebert. A verdict far outside the scope of the affair. She went on a date with a man, and it got a little out of hand. He touched her breast as she toked on her pipe. They got bounced and left the building giggling like teenagers smiling and laughing at their joke. It’s bad timing and Lauren’s not smiling now.

Lauren received her scarlet letter. And was officially notified by BHLAF, the blue haired ladies against freedom of a good looking down their nose at her. Let’s see, first accusation then conviction and then trial. Boebert has broken the morals clause in her contract. You worship Jesus and you read your Bible! And most of all, you keep your goddamn whoring face off the TV!

The Party is in a bad mood already, and nothing would make them feel better about themselves more than a good old fashioned public witch burning. Something to take their minds off their Trump troubles. Something to distract the gullible with self-righteous Mayberry moralism. “Well, I never! She let that man touch her breast! Did you see that? Get her Barney! We might support sedition and the overthrow of lawful Democracy, but we won’t stand for any of that around here!”

A convenient victim for a party needing a sacrificial purification and spiritual cleansing. (See? We clean our own house!)

The Republican House is in shambles as Kevin McCarthy is besieged from all sides and treed by the howling wolves of madness. Attempting to manage the Trump bag men working to bring down our government before our government can bring down Donald Trump.

A cadre of little emperors and bully boys, the usual suspects who will lock up the house until they get what they really want. What they want is for Donald Trump to be left alone. “You come after me, and I’ll come after you!” Remember that? Well, here he comes! The loud crowd Republicans in the pocket of Trump’s 3X britches will shut down the government. All because Kevin McCarthy didn’t subpoena Hunter Biden or bring single subject spending bills to the house.

“Appropriation 01169357. For maintenance and repair of Ranger station in Buckhorn, Colorado.” I object! “Appropriation 01134777 New pool table Maxwell Federal Prison facility, Montgomery, Alabama.” I object! “Appropriation 01950983 Maintenance and repair of docks and fishery facility, Frozen Balls, Alaska.” I object!

That’s all they want, just to go through the Federal budget with a red pencil line by line. It would take six months reading 24 hours a day just take it all in. Discussing or debating the merits of each line would take literally forever. It’s going to the beach to count and debate the merits of each grain of sand and dispensing with the unneeded grains.

And just as fast as the Republicans announced their impeachment investigation of Joe Biden. The matter wilts fading slowly away, a green sprout now withering under the tidal wave of bad Trump news. A spasm of pain as the realization sinks in that Trump is going down for the count. The knowledge of the inevitability of certainty of the ship’s going down.

Donald Trump is failing, and Mitch McConnell is failing. Mark Meadows is failing and Kevin from the 7-11 is failing spectacularly. It’s Kevin’s job to drag this unruly seditious mob into doing its job, and apparently, he’s unable do it. How do I define fail spectacularly? Remember in the old days, about a million years ago give or take a couple of months? When Nancy Pelosi as Speaker of the House and would put on her Nomex suit of armor and do battle with fire breathing house Republicans.

Now Kevin puts on his Nomex suit, and he also fights with Republicans. It’s a family feud and all the Democrats can do is just put their feet up on the desk and watch approvingly. Like Sun Tzu said, If your enemy wants to tear themselves to pieces…let um! Or he said something like that.

Nothing less than Republican Civil War. A political Party in a rapid unplanned disassembly. “Can you hear me, Major Tom?”