This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I was almost raptured the other day. Don’t laugh, it could happen. I was lifted right out my chair and I was about to sing the sweet praises of an eternity doing nothing, when I was struck by a spinning ceiling fan blade. Cut my head open and I began  cussing and taking the lord’s name in vain and suddenly lost my golden ticket. I was dropped unceremoniously onto the floor.

 Planning Jesus, that’s just poor planning and not keeping up with the times! I’d ask if you were raptured too? But then, you wouldn’t be here reading this. So, I guess it’s just us heathens from here on out. And I was so close too.

And then she turned on him, yet another FOT (Friend of Trump) says, Trump and Obama of course were responsible for reckless spending. You see,  Nikki Haley had to include Obama, or it was just an attack on Donald Trump. By including Obama, it was an attack on reckless spending which included Trump.

Admittedly, that’s one small step for Republicans and one giant leap for Nikki Haley. As one by one, the dominoes fall. The small attacks like Haley’s allow her to work both sides of the street, sort of corruption neutral. Not coming right out and criticizing orange Jesus, just some of his policies.  And if the theater later bursts into flames, Nikki can say she smelled smoke. If it doesn’t, no harm done.

It is the political equivalent of sidling towards the back door. First, Chris Christie and then Will Hurd criticize Trump. The former employees of the Trump Administration begin to talk. Cassidy Hutchison says she had to flee her home and leave the state after ratting, I mean, speaking about Trump before Congress. But that was over two years ago, eons in the minds of the low IQ voter.

Haley is running as the good ole fashioned Republican. Straight laced tax cuts for the rich and blank check promises for everyone else. “I’ll make your life better by cutting the gasoline tax. Because our roads are good enough! Why don’t we just replace the bridges as they cave in? That way, we won’t ever replace one unnecessarily.” It’s the old starve government policy, so that you can run roughshod over it.  

Unlike Ron (ooh, ooh that smell) DeSantis, Nikki shies away from social warfare. She’s a big proponent of school choice, but that’s still mainline Republicanism. “Don’t give them a damn nickel!”

New Hampshire polling shows a Trump slump down to 39% and Nikki on the rise to 12%. Placing her in the middle of the  “More of the same” category. Ramaswamy at 13%, Haley 12%, Christie at 11% and pulling up the rear (no pun intended) is little Ronnie DeSantis, the boy who thought he could fly at 10%. Notice how the candidates are all bunched together in a group? In small polling of eight hundred or a thousand people the difference between the numbers could be less than a dozen people.

What the poll does tell us is that none of the candidates excites the crowd. Ho hum, this guy or that guy in post Trump apathy. Nikki’s improvement is due in large part to Trump’s decline. It’s math and you can’t fight it! Not forgetting the DeSantis decline which has rapidly become a death spiral. Remarkable in its rapidity and delightful in its schadenfreude.  There are few second chances in politics once the voters say “no” they usually won’t ever say “yes” again.

The chance the voters will take a second look at Ronnie and say to themselves, “Now wait a minute, maybe we were too hasty in our judgement about Ron DeSantis.” It is about the same chance Rudy Giuliani has of being elected spokesman for AA.

Almost all the candidates profited from the Trump/DeSantis decline. All except for little Ronnie of course and poor Mike Pence. Condemned by cruel fate and punished by the voters for doing the right thing on January 6^th. The Republican voter will never forgive Pence for refusing Trump and defending the constitution.

Two years ago, they booed Mike Pence off the NRA stage and today they just ignore him, that’s progress. Why is Mike even still here? Is he running for Vice President again? There is rot and voter apathy in the Republican air tonight.

Just as the DeSantis numbers are unlikely to repair themselves, likewise Donald Trump’s numbers. Honestly, what are the chances Donald Trump can turn this shit show around? What are the chances, Trump will rise again in the polls? I’m not being partisan here; this is a dead ball’s honest assessment. What spectacular turn events could possibly save Trump now?

If Trump takes his shit show to Milwaukee next summer, he will bust the convention wide open and doom the Republicans for a generation. Just like an air mattress once it starts leaking down there is no stopping it. You can keep putting air back in, but it just keeps leaking down until finally you relent and throw it away. A third Trump campaign will be a flaming shit wagon rolling downhill on steroids.

The other option of no-Trump leaves only the gaggle of none of the above. What presidential ticket besides to nowhere, could you possibly cobble together from the Republican candidates currently in stock? Ramaswamy – Haley? Haley – Ramaswamy? Christie – Ramaswamy? Ramaswamy – Christie? Not a dime’s worth of difference between them.

Without Trump on the ballot, the Party would face the backlash of angry Trumpers. With Trump, they face the angry backlash of everyone else. It is the same old story; Trump now alienates more voters than he attracts and excites the oppositions voters’ turnout more than his own.  Of course, telling Republicans mail in ballots are crooked and the elections are fixed, could lead the under-read and over fed to stay home.

Three of the phony Georgia electors are trying the old “Just doing my job” routine before a judge. Like Mark Meadows, they also want their trial moved to Federal court. Meadows claims he was just doing his job and sedition and insurrection were just a part of his function as Chief of Staff. It didn’t work for him, let’s try it!

Ask yourself, why would the three would attempt a legal strategy with almost no possibility of success? Because it’s all they got. It’s this or throw yourself on the mercy of the court. This crew is claiming that being a phony elector was a government job, like a stand in or understudy or Miss Congeniality. Only…there is no such job listed in government records.

Who will turn on Donald Trump next? Someone will and then someone else will and then someone else. This is the Republicans long and winding road to Milwaukee, littered with landmines and fresh graves.