This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I’d file this one under some people will believe anything. They’re just greening you! Yanking your chain. With any poll that says Donald Trump would defeat Joe Biden. What’s the word I’m looking for here…ah yes, Bullshit! Chances are Donald Trump won’t even make it to the Republican convention in Milwaukee, let alone November.

But it’s great news fodder, isn’t it? It’s only news because it is shockingly untrue. Like saying Ron DeSantis is in line for Nobel Peace Prize. It’s nonsense. What the ABC News-Washington Post poll is actually saying is that the voters don’t like the gaggle of Republican also rans and retreads. None of the other Republican candidates strike their fancy in the slightest. That’s a fact which is just as newsworthy, only less likely to sell newspapers or make for a neat news headline.

“A new ABC News – Washington Post poll finds Republican candidates suck in the eyes of the voters!” So, when asked, the voters say they prefer Trump because they either don’t know or don’t like any of the other candidates. Remember, this low IQ theater!

Let’s tie our souls to the rock of reality here with a little recent history. In 2016, Donald Trump lost the popular vote by three million votes and was elected only due to an Electoral College Snafu. In 2020, Trump lost the popular vote again by seven million votes. So now they come up with a poll saying in 2023 Trump is more popular than ever and will win by wide a margin too! Bullshit!

There is an organized and well-placed group inside of Washington, who are certain they don’t want Trump back in the oval office again. This group calls themselves the Republican Party. Kevin McCarthy denounces not Democrats, but members of his own party for scuttling budget votes. Do you think Kevin from the 7-11 wants four more years of Trump?

There are five, count em five, Republicans in the house trying to shut down the government to serve their lord and master Donald Trump. The other Republicans, the adults in the room know a government shutdown will only hurt them in November. Trump doesn’t care about November and wants to sew wild confusion to obfuscate his criminality and punish his oppressors.

The growd up Republicans know well that a candidate leading their ticket calling for executions of Generals and building concentration camps won’t help their reelection chances any. Donald Trump is desperate and flailing, throwing everything he can at the wall to see if something sticks.

Here’s a good example! Trump did a photo op in a gun store with Marge Traitor Greene in South Carolina. Trump looking at a Glock handgun says, “No, I want to buy one!” Only, those under indictment are not allowed to buy a gun. A side note, imagine Donald Trump in possession of a loaded handgun.

“Sir, if you want one, this one’s yours.” A person on the tour said. What would 77-year-old feeble minded Trump need with a handgun living in a reclusive mausoleum with Secret Service protection? I bet, if he returned to the Honeycomb hideout packing heat, Malaria Trump would be packing her bags headed back to Transylvania. Like the Three Stooges with a chainsaw, obviously somebody’s gonna get hurt.

Trump’s highly organized and ever efficient campaign staff didn’t seem to know Trump was legally disqualified from gun ownership.

Steven Chung Trump spokesman tweets, “President Trump purchases a @GLOCK In South Carolina!” Oh, just go ahead and lie already, you know you want to. The tweet was later deleted. Oh no, he didn’t buy a gun; it was just a misunderstanding.

Former New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said, he believes the Trump family is corrupt, saying it is “readily apparent.” Christie would know having worked with Trump to build the failed casinos in Atlantic City financed with state bond money. But Christie joins the long list of those who worked with Trump and who now denounce him.

There is a line that is becoming a crack and a divide inside the Republican Party. Vivek Ramaswamy and the shrinking Ron DeSantis defend Trump. Chris Christie, Mike Pence, and Nikki Haley aren’t quite so sure. It is a brave candidate with the spirit of a riverboat gambler willing to defend a man facing 91 charges. Sure, and after the convention the Republicans will all rally behind their new born king and defeat Joe Biden handedly.

An article in the New Republic asks, Will the Trump’s base ever turn on him? The answer is obvious. No, they will never publicly turn on Trump. What they will do is quietly back away from him. They will never parade down the street denouncing Trump. But they will grow weary of the constant struggle and combat and succumb to the inevitability. Not all of them, but they can’t afford to lose any votes when they don’t have enough to win to begin with.

The Republican convention in Milwaukee threatens to become a gang fight and a barroom brawl. The Trump minority trying to stampede the non-Trump majority into going along on their Kamikaze mission. If Trump is nominated, somebody’s are going to walk out of the convention. If Trump isn’t nominated, somebody else is going to walk out of the convention. But of course, the Party will come together and unify in November and re-elect Trump. There is not a snowball’s chance in hell of that happening.

Trump polling at 39% in New Hampshire says all you need to know. They will soon hold a primary in New Hampshire. While it’s fourteen months before voters at large, will decide. If you take the combined polling results of the retreads and also rans it equals 50 percent. If you take the New Hampshire results, it exceeds 50 percent.  Ding, ding, ding! Republican’s voters are in reactive dysfunction, and the numbers are all going the wrong way. It all means Trump might not even be able to win the nomination of the Republican Party, let alone win the White House.

A unified Republican Party failed in 2020, but with a straight face they tell us Trump could defeat Joe Biden in 2024. The Republicans face the largest electoral crisis in their long and lamentable history. Trump is broken and barely functioning. Trump is talking about wind turbines killing whales or his plan to execute Generals or build concentration camps and deporting millions.

If you believe Trump will be the next President, I’ve got a beautiful bridge for sale in Brooklyn, that you’d just love. They are just greening you!