This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Well, as the old expression goes “they done, stepped in it now.” The Republicans now find themselves in a cow pasture on a warm summer day, barefooted. With warm soft landmines all around them with only one way to get out of their predicament. Take a walk, a very careful walk.

Kevin McCarthy has been dethroned, a first in American politics and postcard worthy. “Here in 2023, Kevin McCarthy became the first speaker of the house removed from office out of pique.” To please the dark lord and further the dark lord’s quest to destabilize the government and thus hide and legitimize his own stain.

Mr. McCarthy was summarily dismissed as reporters asked, “Any idea who will be next?” With a shrug of their shoulders they answer, “dunno.” They fired the guy and hadn’t given thought about who to replace him with? It seems I remember, the last time the polling was done, Kevin was the only candidate they could agree on. The compromise candidate between the two wings of the Party. The crazy Mofo’s and the really crazy Mofo’s.

As you can plainly see, it is a difficult gulf to gap and grasp a hold of. No matter what you do at the head of the Party you insult the tail and vice versa. Boy, Kevin and I sure called that one wrong. Kevin sounded confident and I felt pretty confident myself the Democrats wouldn’t stoop to lower themselves in unison to aid Matt Gaetz, but I was wrong. However, I have an excuse, “What do I know?” But for Kevin, it’s his job to know or at least, it was his job to know.

Reporters always ask those same questions of Coaches and politicians recently fired from office, “Would you manage the Yankees again Billy?” Kevin answers with a “no”, (not even if you begged me on a bended knee.) I will not be your candidate, nor will I accept. So long suckers! You’ll see. See you in the funny papers! You’re on your own from here on out fellas!

Don’t call me when the wheels come off, I’m blocking you guys! It wasn’t all Kevin’s fault trying to lead two almost opposing wings of the Party. The tax cuts for millionaires and pollute the Earth to ruination Republicans, the Crazy Mofo’s. And the pro Trump cultists out to destroy Democracy, the really Crazy Mofo’s. Who wants to step into the middle of that family squabble?

On the one hand, Kevin was a known commodity and reasonably accommodating, even if only at the eleventh hour. Exactly, says Matt Gaetz, too accommodating. Matt wanted to shut down the government for the benefit of his lord and master, Donald (You come after me) Trump and Kevin stifled him. The Democrats for whatever reason trusting to fate that the next speaker will somehow be better than Kevin was.

I see no reason to suspect that. Matt Gaetz is the victor here; he defeated Grendel and is master of the house. Do you really believe someone better will appear now? When it is feeding time at the monkey house? Ask yourself as a Republican Congressperson, “would you take that job?” It’s like being a hall monitor. If you do a good job, everybody hates you. If you do a bad job, you get fired.

It’s just like in Revolutionary France, “The king must die so the Crazy can live!” And now the crazy’s blood lust has been excited, and the crowd will want more. So, the drums in the hills begin to rumble with an idea. Donald Trump as Speaker of the House. You could have had Kevin and not had to put up with such silly bullshit as this, but No! Kevin wasn’t good enough for you, was he?

Obviously, the idea for the Democrats was to assist Matt Gaetz in setting fire to the Republican Party. To let the Republicans twist in the wind amongst their petty squabbles and cultist mysteries. The blood letting blood sport of choosing a new speaker emboldened with Kevin McCarthy’s scalp on their belt. Democrats believing, they can shake hands with the devil, staring fires but not getting burnt somewhere along the way.

The Republicans busy with their knife fights and gang wars will be even less focused and organized than usual. In fortysomething days, the spending resolution expires, and there will be no Kevin to help us. The Republicans might not be able to choose a speaker in forty days. And if they do, we might begin to miss Kevin.

This isn’t a struggle for power in the conventional sense, this is the struggle to shut down the government for Donald Trump. This is a kamikaze mission for Matt Gaetz; he’s moving back to Florida anyway. He’s going to be the new Governor there you know, Trump promised. Just do as a good Butt faced monkey boy should do. The corruption of the Republicans’ message is so clear and so astounding.

One wing of the Republican Party is trying to destroy the Party for the benefit of one man. The other wing of the Party is trying to stop them without letting on that there is a problem. Two pilots fighting over the controls of the airplane with only one wanting to live.

It would never happen (I hope, don’t quote me. I’ve been wrong before.) that Donald Trump would ever become Speaker of the House. But just think about that for a second. It makes me miss Kevin already, how about you?  Trump uses his surrogates to hamstring their Party and the Democrats helped Donald Trump to do it. Matt Gaetz, Donald Trump and the Democrats got rid of Kevin McCarthy.

But what do I know? It doesn’t sound like good politics to me. Helping Matt Gaetz is helping Donald Trump and in no way is helping Donald Trump good politics.

Did you see where Trump was placed under a gag order for threatening a court clerk? Do you think he will go so quietly or will he use his surrogates even more to cause as much frenzy, mayhem and distraction to your government as he can. To send his surrogates to actively work towards shutting it down to aid in his criminal path.  January 6^th 2.0 Trump holding the country hostage like a Bond villian.

“Those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside” ― John F. Kennedy