This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

To Jim or not to Jim, whether tis better to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Jim Jordan. An American success story, a locker-room Coach for the Ohio State University. Their senior man on the Maytag washer & dryer and padlock supervisor turned member of Congress about to reach the pinnacle of his career as a meat puppet. As a trained seal and body double for Donald Trump.

There is no Jim Jordan; he has no opinions. This is Donald Trump trying once again to overthrow the Republican Party in the House of Representatives. Validating the question of Jan 6^th, would he try it again? You bet he would. Hide and watch!

The first time they spoke of Jimmy the lost boy for speaker, the nearly sane said politely, “no. ” Then Trump busts in announcing his support for Jimmy. The nearly sane begin to realize what Trump’s announcement actually meant. “Red Queen! Red Queen! Awake my children!” The pied piper is warming up his flute again. The house leadership (What’s left of them) responds with, “Oh, hell no.”

Coalescing around Steve Scalise, the Party chooses a “Party” stalwart. Someone safe, someone they can trust because there is a zombie army at the door. They are yelling for brains, and they have none to give them. The Trumpers cut Scalise down at the needs. Scalise is suffering from a blood cancer. He’s well enough to be their house majority leader, but not well enough to be speaker. See? Make sense?

But they announced Scalise anyway, as if it were a done deal and all but decided. Joy to the world! Burn all the ballots! Holy smoke. But the bum’s rush didn’t work. Everybody likes Steve, okay? All those in favor? But they knew going in they didn’t have the votes. Scalise steps aside for the “good” of the Party. Leaving our hero as the heir brained apparent.   

For the elected Republicans excepting George Santos, it is a direct invasion of their turf. An unelected, fat assed super Daddy is trying to move in and take over Al Capone style. Leading them over the cliff as human fodder trying to protect himself by using Congress as his personal assault vehicle.

Trump faces trouble closing in from all sides and tries to take Congress hostage. And put them in a headlock until they all relent or metaphorically kill the Republican hostages by making the house even more dysfunctional.

This whole situation is a self-inflicted wound. There was no crisis or pressing need to get rid of Kevin McCarthy. They haven’t gotten rid of George Santos yet, why Kevin? Matt Gaetz did this on the orders of Orange Frankenstein.  At a time when radical brain-dead Republicans are calling for a government shutdown. Trump says, “A shutdown would be good.” No skin off his nose, “shut her down!”

He warned you, didn’t he? He told you what would happen if you came after him, didn’t he? That’s why there is no decision. Decision is surrender and surrender is unthinkable. To let Donald Trump, decide the direction of the Republican Party going into an election year. We’ve witnessed Congressional dysfunction on an unprecedented level. If they install a Trump meat puppet, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

Because of the vacuum created, house Republicans have no real voice. They don’t know the Party “Official” line. As a world crisis grips us, Trump says, “Hamas is smart, very smart and Bebe let us down.” Folks… I give you Exhibit A. “Oak tree you’re in my way!”

Trump says everything  “Never would have happened on my watch! I could end that war in five minutes! That forest fire or oil spill never would have happened on my watch!” Is Trump just delusional or just selling a bag of shit to the delusional?  

Some inside the Republican Party are willing to look past Jimmy the lost boy’s credentials, but question Jimmy’s administrative abilities. Based solely on Jim’s disastrous house hearings and his lack of cranial aptitude.  Jimmy’s a back bencher and only first got the gavel last year, with predictable Rookie results. So, the experience is low, ability is low, and competence is Donald Trump.

If this were a Superman movie the evil super villain Dr. Trump, just implanted a micro chimp inside the brain of young Jimmy Olson. Making him his helpless pawn, “Brains! Brains! Brains!”

The Swamp Monster – Revenge of Trump! It Came From Mar-a-Lago! Life Beyond the Trump Barrier!

All talk of investigations and impeachment hearings all washed away. Everything planned in the Republican agenda scuttled by Donald Trump and his pedophile prostitute protégée. Can you see it?

Trump butt buddy Matt Gaetz assassinates the speaker with a call for a vote of no confidence over trifle. The death penalty for a parking ticket. Kevin lied and made a deal when the Trumpers wanted to shut down the government to arm twist draconian spending cuts.

So, the loosely weaved and incorrectly wired faction suggested Trump for speaker. This weak attempt was just the crazy faction aping and displaying in the room. It was quickly explained to them why that wasn’t going to happen. Then somebody suggested Jimmy Olson, I mean Jordan. Then an orange lightbulb  went on at the back porch of the Mar-a-Lago Mausoleum and transient hotel. As Trump says, “YEAH! Jim! Jim would be good! You should pick Jim; I like Jim.”

If you can’t get Trump, you can get the next best thing. An empty headed meat puppet in a yellow tie to match his soul. It’s problematic to negotiate with those on a suicide mission or coup d’état. It’s all the marbles or none of them. The Trumpers want to shut down the government anyway, why should they negotiate for a speaker or to keep the government open?

To Jim or not to Jim, whether tis nobler to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous Jim Jordan. An American success story, a locker-room Coach for the Ohio State University. Their senior man on the Maytag washer & dryer and gym locker foreman and supervisor turned member of Congress about to reach the pinnacle of his career as a meat puppet. As a trained seal and body double for Donald Trump.

But Jim doesn’t have the votes either, but anything is possible in the land of Nod.

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know that you can count me out (in)

Don’t you know it’s gonna be
All right?
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)
Don’t you know it’s gonna be (all right)

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We’d all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We’re all doing what we can

But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait – Lennon/McCartney