This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

As Freddie Mercury would put it, “Another one bites the dust!” Jimmy (You can’t get rid of me that easily) Jordan announces there won’t be a third vote, but that he’s not giving up. Jim just needs to do more time working behind the scenes. To convince the twenty or so Republicans to overcome their personal revulsion and life principles and vote for Jim.

The bully humbled makes a tactical retreat, while claiming he’s ready to try it again, real, real soon. Maybe when the moon is full, and the tides are right. Jim will be back alright, like mosquitoes at sundown, he’ll be back.

A plan to empower Patrick McHenry is floated to Instant death. It’s on! It lives! No wait, it’s dead. Wait! Wait, maybe. No, dead. Matt Gaetz emerges from his submarine to declare the compromise plan dead. Like a real live fire bomber assassin turned statesman, come back to the scene of the crime to admire his own handy work.

The skinny says they had a real fine barn burner of a conference meeting after the failed second vote. With all sorts of hurtful name calling and heated words. To summarize; they’re all getting tired of this bullshit! Tired of Matt Gaetz and tired of the Jimmy Jordan Experience and being held hostage by a small band of political arsonists.

Jimmy Jordan’s campaign failed due primarily to Jim being in it. Proving himself unfit to lead with threats and the “boogie man might get you if you don’t watch out” innuendos. Meanwhile, while they dissect the possibilities to formulate a plan of what to do next. Patrick McHenry says, “Hello! I’m in the room you know.”

Ole Patrick McHenry was a little peeved at not being asked for his opinion of the idea. Going so far as to threaten to quit. “I’ll hand you Kevin’s Rolodex and walk the fuck away from here. Don’t push me! I’m getting close to the edge.” McHenry never asked for any of this. For the first time ever, a speaker is toppled as part of a former President’s continuing Coup plot. So, for the first time ever a Speaker’s assistant is handed Kevin’s Rolodex and told to “Deal with it!”

McHenry wants assurances he’ll be a real boy speaker and not just a puppet played by the strings of expediency. So, the frustration builds, and McHenry reminds them all he’s not glued to the chair. He’s free to put on his walking shoes and take himself a stroll downtown if the mood strikes. To take a powder and hit the clock and then hit the bricks.

So, you say you got trouble now friends? Watch Patrick walk out the room and see what happens next. The speaker’s assistant’s assistant will be the interim speaker. Matt Gaetz says, “I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.” No, poison hemlock isn’t usually very palatable.

“Whatever it is, I’m against it!”

But suddenly, Jimmy Jordan relights his candle and declares his campaign like Frankenstein is alive again. A hand reaching up from the grave just hours after declaring the corpse was dead. Franken Jordan is going to work the room one more time. Holding the house hostage to countless pointless votes and conferences where the voting math never changes.

Then I guess we’ll just have to do it all over again! All those in favor of Franken Jordan? Okay, we’ll hold another vote tomorrow. And the day after that and day after that, until YOU people, get it right! They’ve got Patty Hearst locked in the closet, and they won’t let her go. For the crazy caucus obstruction is their only weapon. As soon as a new speaker is crowned, they revert to being pumpkins again.

Who gains from this? What is the final goal of the program? “What’s the Frequency Kenneth?” Is it just to illustrate how dysfunctional a political Party can become? Or to show how easily Congress can be stifled with a small infestation of those basically of a disloyal criminal element.

Speaking of the criminal element, which brings us to Sidney Powell and the not ready for crime time players. Pleading guilty to lesser charges in exchange for her testimony. A bombshell with more explosive power beyond its charge. A big hole in the dam and a big crack in the ice. If she’s guilty and she was his lawyer acting on his behalf… well, it sort of speaks for itself, doesn’t it?

Reports say the Trump legal team was “Blindsided” by the plea deal. Duh, Blindsided will be the title of the tell all book they’re going to write when this is all over. I don’t think Eisenhower’s staff could handle operation Orange Overload. Managing the legal affairs of Donald Trump. Is there a Supreme commander or just take them on one at the time?  

Powell’s plea deal is another notch on the gun. They never really wanted Sidney, they only wanted Sidney to roll over on the boss as Sidney was seen as the weakest link. Another trip around the bowel headed for oblivion. A closing of the ring as the artillery strikes closer to the bunker. So as one Coup plot reaches towards its finality another begins to flower. Is it a new coup or only a continuation of the previous coup plot?

Trump’s plot failed to steal the Presidency. So this time around, he will try to take over the House of Representatives with a simple droid, a simple droid named Jim.

But Powell is the person on the inside, which when added to the existing evidence might not really mean all that much. It’s not like they were ever really short of evidence. But when an insider switches sides, it’s sort of the cherry on top as deniability plummets. After the wheelman confesses.

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust (yeah)
Hey, I’m gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust 

– John Deacon