This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Not just no, but hell no! Fuck no! Get out of town no! Not on your life, no! And your little dog too, no! This is what it sounds like when the thugs cry. Jim Jordan cries uncle! Jordan received the least votes of any speaker candidate in the last 100 years, but who’s counting? A record unlikely to be surpassed at any time real soon. But these are Republicans, so who knows?

In conference, the Republicans held a little secret ballot and Jordan did even worse. Not since Custer met Sitting Bull. The Republican Party REALLY didn’t want Jim Jordan, by historic proportions they didn’t want Jim Jordan. By the tyranny of the secret ballot, they didn’t want Jim Jordan. The Trump style campaign of threats and intimidation failed and backfired because no one is really all that afraid of Jim Jordan.

Matt Gaetz was hotter than a whiny little bitch has a right to be. He thought he had the world by the tail, when actually he was only holding his own something else. It was just yesterday on the same spot of earth; Matt was crowing like a rooster at dawn about the coming of Jim Jordan. Take it to the bank fellas, any minute now! Gaetz was looking around at the room and planning changes when they took over, and then crash & burn!

Little Matty was petulant in defeat. Claiming Jordan had been “Knifed in the back!” Meaning, Matt had been Knifed in the back. Then stomping his foot on the floor for emphasis, as he began to whine and mutter, we only wanted to take over and gee fellas now this. I could watch that over and over. Like the season finale of a soap opera! Crash meet Burn. You can pause the video and see the anguish and anger in his eyes. This was an old-fashioned country ass whooping.

In the annals of Republican politics, yesterday was a red-letter bad day. Another day another conviction as prosecutors build a radioactive containment building around Donald Trump from which he can never escape. “Operation Elbe” Or how to take down a crime syndicate in ten easy lessons. You get the lieutenants to roll over on the Boss, like so.  

And so and so, Cheesebro cops a plea. And the tears are falling like rain. Each conviction spreading out like ripples across the pond intersecting. Joining Sidney Powell sitting on the group “W” bench. It’s a big bench and there’s room more coming! Practicing in their turn, “That’s him! That’s the bad man! That’s HIM! The villain! Your honor, I was shocked and appalled by their disgraceful behavior.”

Trump was fined $5,000 by a judge for running his big damn mouth. The money doesn’t really mean anything, it was just a shot across Trump’s bow. You warm up with the little fine first, before moving onto the lightning round! As if to say, “See, I’m a nice Judge and reasonable too, but you’re skating on thin ice here fella and I’m a heat wave!”

Apparently, so they tell me. I read it in the trades, so it must be true that a certain DT was on the outs with Fox News. DT is reportedly not allowed live on the all fawning network anymore. It could be the once burned or twice or three or four times burned rule is in effect. The memo posted in the breakroom: This network no longer allows Donald Trump on the air! Clips, sure but live, no! – ¡Esta cadena ya no permite que Trump esté al aire! Clips, claro pero en vivo, ¡no!  That’s television baby!

The defeat of Jordan is the defeat of Trump. It is the repudiation of Trump/Jordan in the surprise winter offensive, they didn’t see coming. They thought they were winning, but it was not so. And now, they’ve been duly spanked by their own as they retreat to lick their wounds. For Trump it’s just another day and another defeat as the frontline begins to disintegrate. No news is good news!

Why, I’m old enough to remember back in the days. When Trump could just pick up the phone and say, “patch me through to the Fox News live feed. I feel like doing some mass communicating!” Today it’s, “You’re call is very important to us. If you know the name of the  party you wish to reach, press one. We’re sorry, but the mailbox is full.” Money changes everything and Fox News is tired of writing large checks for the things that Trump says. It is another loss and another sign of the dissolution of the crumbling Trump front.

Trump was asked nicely by Fox to participate in their dog and pony show debate, but said no. With a big lead in the polls, no one could blame Trump for declining their invitation. (It’s kill the guy with the ball) But maybe, the Fox News Execs think that turnabout is fair play. You don’t want to play ball with us anymore? Gotten too big for your britches (Literally and figuratively)  to help your friends, have you? Try running for President without us pal. Of the grand pull back, out with the old and in with new! “You’re Fired!”

As Fredrich March drifts off into the Pacific, the story  of “A Star is Born” is set to close. Trump losing in his attempt to subvert the House of Representatives. Losing in court, losing his friends and allies. The smell of Teen Spirit has been replaced by the smell of The Ohio State locker room.

Jordan’s ignominious defeat  has brought forth a spate of new no name Republican candidates. No first round draft choices here, this is the taxi squad. Following the logic if Jim Jordan could do it, why not? But it is a party of fireman volunteers willing to take the job just to move the party past their crisis of ineptitude. Of a Civil War in the house which came to a climatic pinnacle and tragic end as the Rebel forces are now scattered, defeated and in full retreat.

“I see hundreds of men come by on the road an’ on the ranches with their bindles on their back an’ that same damn thing in their heads. Hundreds of them. They come, an’ they quit an’ go on; an’ every damn one of ‘em’s got a little piece of land in his head. An’ never a God damn one of ‘em ever gets it. Just like heaven. Ever’body wants a little piece of lan’. I read plenty of books out there. Nobody never gets to heaven, and nobody never gets no land. It’s just in their head.”
― John Steinbeck,