This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

“I don’t know how much longer she’ll hold together, Captain! We’re at warp factor nine now!” – Scotty

If Mr. Johnson’s Neighborhood has any chance at all for survival, someone needs to wake Mr. Johnson to the reality of his neighborhood. You see, the House Republicans want to propose a stand-alone bill to support Israel, for a price. National Security is negotiable, you know. We proudly stand with our allies unless we can’t get anything out of it that we want.

Republicans want cuts at the IRS for Duh, obvious reasons. Never before in American history has the support of our Allies been conditional. The bill with Mr. Johnson’s approval has zero Democratic support and questionable Republican support. IF! If Mr. Johnson could ram this bill through the house Mitch McConnell, fellow Republican and Senate leader, Mitch McConnell has promised the bill is DOA in the Senate. But if, if mind you, the bill could be magically passed through the Senate Joe Biden vows to veto it.

What’s the principle here Bernoulli? What’s the frequency Kenneth? Which way is the wind blowing around here? First week on the job and already his first failure. But this stand-alone negotiating tactic is the standard for the whack Job Republicans like Mr. Johnson. What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is open to debate. My way or the highway and even if their own Party elders are trying to tell them to knock it off. They won’t quit.

It’s a wonderful thing when your co-workers think so highly of you; they hold a special day in your honor. Recently, the Senate hosted “Yell at Tommy Tuberville Day!” While the Senate tried to clear the backlog of Military promotions blocked by the former Auburn Football coach. Tommy the tick has burrowed in so deeply on this he has no escape without losing face with the home folks. Because it’s all about Tommy the  (T) or (D) ick and nobody else.

Way back in the day when the Republican House was still mud wrestling for a speaker, Mitch McConnell said he’d didn’t involve himself in that family feud. But today, Mitch is getting involved, telling Mr. Johnson to wake up and smell the coffee. “Don’t send that mess over here!”

The same old Republican shutdown strategy of holding the House hostage until they can net concessions for doing what they ought to do in the first place. No one’s ever tried it with Israel before. It would be fair to question in light of their party’s Jewish Space laser membership if a little antisemitism wasn’t at work here.

Juggling international policy for domestic concessions. Negotiating down to zero and pulling the chicken switch, thus making a general war more likely. Emboldening our opponents to make their move because Republicans have pulled the chicken switch and want to dither over funding the fire department, until the house burns down.

Do we honestly expect to have allies or friends anywhere in the world? Well, our friendship is conditional. The grown ups have left the room. The Republicans abandon foreign policy as it has been practiced for the last couple of thousand years or so. Your allies help you and make YOU stronger. When your allies need help you don’t answer, maybe. Let us sleep on it; we have a few ideas for some budget cuts.

The Republican focus is a microscope and not a telescope. They don’t see the bigger picture and look for belly button lint instead of seeing the forest for the trees. Not looking or thinking about how their actions could be perceived abroad. Not realizing that they are juggling chainsaws. The only thing the Republicans can agree on is not to expel George Santos. Shame has no victory over the shameless.

There is a sense of historical weight of a historical crossroads. Republicans playing checkers while the world plays chess. Republicans forgetting there are American hostages being held. Hamas didn’t just act against Israel. When a German U-boat sank the Lusitania, the Americans killed onboard made it an American issue. This was a terrorist strike on American citizens and Republicans want to play games.

The new guy, Mr. Johnson’s first week on the job, wants to show off his tough negotiating skills with a three-vote majority. Giving hope to Putin and Hamas. Giving injury to our friends and shaking our allies. Smooth move Exlax, not exactly a good first movement.

Next week, Mr. Johnson’s Neighborhood will attempt to tie funding for the Ukraine War with border security. What could possibly go wrong? Mr. Johnson is putting on a stunt show and accomplishing nothing. Dragging their feet and killing time until the next press release. Accomplishing nothing until the next speaker crisis comes along.

The Republicans have a new speaker but the same old problem. No differently from Kevin McCarthy, Kevin wouldn’t knuckle under to the whack job Republicans, and they offed him. Then the whack jobs installed their own whack job and expect what exactly? Kevin called them the crazy eights. The eight Gaetz gorillas at the Jimmy Jordan jammy jamboree. And you thought Kevin McCarthy was weak when Mr. Johnson’s neighborhood is largely in Mr. Johnson’s own mind.

“Why are we putting holds on war heroes?” – Dan Sullivan (R)

“To defeat Fortune, men must anticipate such evils before they arise, and take prudent steps to avoid them. When the waters have already risen, it is too late to build dikes and embankments.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli