This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

All in all, it was a good night. Do you know what exposes the voter’s true feelings better than polling? Elections! Democrat Andy Beshear easily wins reelection in deep red Kentucky. A Constitutional Amendment protecting Reproductive rights in Ohio sailed through to passage. Many had predicted this vote would be much closer, but they were way wrong.

In formerly red Virginia, Democratic candidates won elections in the state house and the state Senate giving control of the state house over to the Democrats. In the Senate race, the Democrat upset and unseated a Republican incumbent. Yes, all in all, it was a good night.

A Democrat was elected to Congress from Rhode Island. A Trump Party candidate running for town council in Texas was busted for child porn possession just hours before the polls opened. The timing just a coincidence, I’m certain. The Tonya Harding Texas method for better elections. Let’s serve this warrant on Wednesday, no wait, Monday.

On the subject of porn, the new Republican speaker Mike, what’s his name, is said to use a computer program to control his intake of porn. In much the same way a junkie would use a computer program to control their intake of heroin. One of the very first signs of porn addiction is needing a computer program to monitor your porn intake. If you’re buying the accessories, this is your hobby.

Now one of the major essentials for enjoying a porn addiction is a credit card number or so I’ve heard. But since Mike, What’s his name doesn’t have a bank account, where does he get the credit card? Is he getting a prepaid card through the Dollar Store and loading it after he stands in line at the bank to get his check cashed. That’s okay, lots of successful men don’t have bank accounts! I’ll bet Al Capone didn’t have a bank account.

It’s not what the absence of a bank account says or might say. It is what it actually screams here in reality. You need a bank account to properly function. Millions of Americans are pushed out and pushed under for the lack of a bank account. It’s  a waypoint on the road to homelessness. But here is a man with a good full-time government job and a porn addiction, who doesn’t keep a bank account. “Red Flag! Red Flag!”

“Fat Asian Ladies…..$99.95”

“Fat Asian Ladies…..$99.95”

“Fat Asian Ladies…..$99.95”

“Fat Asian Ladies…..$99.95”

“Fat Asian Ladies…..$99.95”

Like wanting to be paid in gold under the full moon. How can a politician operate like that? It sounds a lot like Huey Long’s deduct box. “How much you got in the box there Mike?” None of your damn business! That’s how much we’ve got in the damn box!” As Mr. Spock would say, “Fascinating.”

The Trump empire trembles in the breeze awaiting just the right gust to blow and all will fall down. Trump Tower for sale, Don Jr., and Eric made homeless and unemployed. I can see them now, moving out carrying out their mattresses and velvet prints of Elvis and dogs playing poker. “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I’m certain the boys will land on their feet after their stellar testimony explaining that they don’t know nothing about nothing, about what goes on around here. Eric, he pours concrete and Don Jr. he’s the idea man! Yep, exactly! The idea man.

Donald Trump is about to damage the Republican Party, possibly beyond repair in a half-hearted and half-assed “Lemmings Across America tour 2024!” Hop aboard the victory express! Help yourself to some of our complimentary Kool – Aid. The burning hay wagon meets the exposed dynamite truck.

When the judge says, “I’m going to need your certified check for $250 million dollars.” It’s drop his drawers and spank his ass red raw. “To be exposed before your peers!” Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel. Donald Trump broke is Donald Trump broken. Trump’s whole schtick is the supersmart New York Billionaire businessman with a 1960s persona. With an airplane and yacht and golden toilets! A Trump stripped naked before the court does not compute.

The low IQ voters can forgive philandering illicit affairs, corruption, and ongoing criminal endeavors. They don’t even care what Trump was doing with THEIR documents. But will the mob and the penny stinkers stick with Donald Trump the poor? Donald Trump with an EBT card? Helpless like children trying to shop for food, having never done it before.

Don and Malaria eventually shopping at the Goodwill store. “Pardon me, but where do you keep your big & tall men’s fashions?” Trump is headed for a buzz saw and nobody loves you when you’re down and out. There is a finality in the air that the end is rapidly approaching. It’s all fun and games, until they ask you for the check.

Only in the failed state of Mississippi, did Republicans prevail. As Tait “Pappy McDaniel’s Biscuits” Reeves won reelection. Reeves engineered the largest tax cut in state history because Mississippi has everything so well under control.

The picture for Republicans looks dark. A hopelessly damaged candidate for President dragging them off the cliff to the Reich when they should be running towards the center. A Republican speaker with a porn problem and banking issues. But it’s okay because he’s got a computer program to help him keep up with his porn intake. Where the money comes from and where it goes, no one knows. Imagine the Republican reaction if Joe or Hunter Biden didn’t have a bank account.

It is so absurd as to be a George Santos level one lie. I don’t have a bank account. My dog ate my homework. This won’t hurt, the check is in the mail, and I won’t “YOU HAVE REACHED YOUR PORN LIMIT FOR TODAY! Come again tomorrow!

“How many times do you have to get hit over the head until you figure out who’s hitting you.” ― Harry S. Truman