This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Amidst all the chaos, war, and terrorism, it has been a relatively slow news week. No new bombshells or revelations, just more of the same. Trump said this or Trump did that. Trump is the biggest threat to the world ever was. Trump climbs an office building and swats at attacking biplanes. Pictures at eleven! But there are a few gems that somehow slip past us.

This is the old style of artificial intelligence, the old-fashioned tube type of artificial intelligence. “Margaret Tater Greene’s Book Hit by Negative Reviews!” Who in their right mind calls that news? Shocking! What were they expecting, “Gone with the Wind?” A literary masterwork?  Woodward & Bernstein?

Only two out of five stars, but they’re kidding us, right? Like we need stars to tell us how good  “MTG” A memoir, could be. In these days of modern times any politician worth their salt must have a book to sell. Books are like money, only without all the pesky government oversight and red tape. Anyone can buy a copy of a book or a thousand, even if they can’t legally donate to your campaign. Plus, you can do whatever you like with the money!

“I was born quite young in a log hospital near my mother.” What could “MTG” tell us of her travails and her struggles for greatness? Pretty clever trying to rebrand herself as “MTG” RBG, huh? Huh? Applause? The surprising part was that no one around “MTG” STP. Tried to talk her out of it. “Oooh, that sounds like a real good idea Maggie!”

Famously, Josh Hawley’s book deal was quashed over the raised fist heard around the world. Seems, if I can remember correctly, Hawley was  going to sue. Oh well, we all know how backed up the courts are these days. But it was big money and like a scene out of a Hollywood movie. They were just about to hand over that big check to Josh and everything had all been arranged when….Oh, so close. Hawley ended up self-publishing, with the publisher of last resort. Instead of getting a check from the publisher, you write a check to the publisher.

Obviously, Tater Greene is going to receive bad reviews. She is a polarizing figure appealing to a specific narrow minded market segment of low IQ voters, while being reviled by the mainstream. Like an Avant garde Poet only without the intelligence or the poetry. Greene is the national poster child and spokesmodel for Dumb fuckery. Any belief or suspicion that Greene actually wrote the book herself is question for a basic intelligence test.  

Greene has been pimp er a, promoting her book promising to dish out the dirt on January 6^th. With lurid behind the scenes stories of the swamp and Marge’s place in it. Makes a great Xmas or Hanukkah gag gift!

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend on reading it.” ― Groucho Marx

From the files of “YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP!” Dr. Bruce Aronwald, DO and I don’t know what DO means except Latin maybe for Trump physician.

“His physical exams were well within the normal range and his cognitive exams were exceptional. In addition, his most recent extensive laboratory analysis remains well within normal limits and was even more favorable than prior testing in some of the most significant parameters, most likely secondary to weight reduction,” Aronwald said in a run-on sentence in his letter.”

Haven’t we been down this road before? Trump physician pens letter claims only Kryptonite can ever stop him. He’s getting younger! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I must be a Trump supporter. Trump is 77 years old and going on 78, nobody’s health improves that much at 78. “Oh yeah, sure! He’s smarter than ever! Sharp as a tack! Ask him anything! Ask him to arm wrestle.”

Trump “has reduced his weight through an improved diet and continued daily physical activity, while maintaining a rigorous schedule” and that “with his continued interest in preventative health monitoring and maintenance, he will continue to enjoy a healthy active lifestyle for years to come.” Well, he’s a doctor and not an English major.

Come on Doc, get out of town with that weight reduction stuff. I think the DO must stand for Disinformation Officer. Trump is younger, smarter, and leaner! Don’t adjust your television set. Don’t touch that dial!

This they call news. This they call news on a slow news week. The SpaceX heavy lift booster, the Ego trip one, failed successfully and was a massive triumph of modern self-destruction. NASA being a stodgy old government agency strictly defines initiating the self – destruct system, as a textbook failure. But SpaceX calls every flight of the Ego trip one, a success.

There is a problem with staging the rocket. As the rocket hurtles towards space the pressure of that momentum keeps the fuel tank pressure up. Any pause in the momentum and the fuel begins to float around in the tank. So, SpaceX tried Hot staging (Thank you, 1961 Atlas rocket) igniting the second stage before the first stage has completely burnt out.

Yet still problems persist. However, the FAA commented positively of SpaceX on their latest momentous successful failure. Commenting that this failure was done much safer than their previous failure. No concrete rain or rocket parts scattered across the hinterlands this time, Kudos!

I’m not the first person to point out the similarity of Ego Trip one with the Soviet N1 moon rocket. The complexity and plumbing for 33 rocket engines speaks for itself. SpaceX is following the old Soviet model of testing, by just keep launching em until one doesn’t blow up. Then, that’s how you do it.

I wish them well, though I think their testing model and rocket are flawed. Elon Musk wants to colonize Mars, and I’m all for that. No one wants to see Elon land on Mars as much as I do. It’s been a slow news week for me as well. I can’t wait for the headline, “Know it all Dumb Ass leaves for Mars!”