This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I think that they’ve gone too far. Our electro technical nightmare machine is complete. Spinning dreams and visions George Orwell never could have imagined, in a sort of Orwell 2.0. The rise of the machines, AI bumping heads with natural born stupidity. The grand equalizer machine where all things are equal even those things which are not.

Monica Lewinsky calls for Presidential age limits and bans on self-pardons. (shakes head violently) What the Fuck? There is only one skill which made Ms. Lewinsky notable, and it wasn’t political prognostication. Stay in your own lane lady! The was a story in The Guardian and not the Hooterville Guardian either. They called Ms. Lewinsky “a political activist, former Intern and a writer too.” Oh, is that what you call political activism these days?

The story within the story where there is no story. Asking some former “activist” her opinion on much of anything is no different from asking some random stranger off the street.  Like asking Ms. Congeniality her views on world peace.  I remember some philosopher said, “It’s not what goes into your mouth but what comes out.” Ms. Lewinski only qualifies at one end of this equation. But to make her opinion a news story? Well?

“We asked 400 homeless people at random what they thought of the new and improved taste of Peter Pan Peanut Butter?” Taking bits and pieces of separate random information and tying them together as if they are somehow equal and important. Four out of five Dentists recommend Crest Toothpaste for their own horses when they are at home. Non information information, lost on a sea of Orwell.

Lewinsky thinks we ought to upgrade our Constitution. A very common theme for former interns, the real story. Ms. Monica describes herself as a “Constitutional nerd,” isn’t that cute? She has two hobbies now. And that’s important too because she’s Monica Lewinsky the blow job queen and the devil in the blue dress.

I don’t fault her for what she did. I do fault her for trying to capitalize off of it. “And now with some thoughts on financial planning from Jeffery Skilling. Joey Buttafuoco Pizza! Tonya Harding Anger management classes! Trump University!

“Our constitution is not a game of Monopoly,” Lewinsky wrote in an editorial. “For the head of the executive branch, there should not be a ‘get out of jail free’ card.”

She said, “head,” tell me you didn’t smile at the irony when she said that. She could have said President or government official, but no, she said, “head.” I guess that gate swings both ways. We asked baseball great George Brett for his views on nuclear proliferation and smart weapons technology.

“Lewinsky has since earned a master’s degree from the London School of Economics (sounds expensive) and worked to combat cyberbullying. She has spoken about how she was publicly demonized and humiliated during the scandal that enveloped Clinton’s impeachment. Saying she did not have the same power and influence that protected the then-president.”

She got caught giving the President head and she was demonized! The world is so unfair and unkind! Now, how could that have ever happened? Clinton got off easy right? He was impeached and in hot water with his wife. It derailed his presidency, but she was humiliated. I would say it was 50/50 split. Rule for future employment: Don’t suck off the boss.

And now, she’s got her master’s degree from London and is a well-known  “Activist.” And featured in a major publication for her worldview. It’s a bridge too far.

Gee, she didn’t have the same power as the President of the United States; I’m shocked, how could this happen? Whoever would have ever thunk that?

The problem is filling the space, and it’s an old problem only made worse by information technology. As the space is now never ending and impossible to ever fill completely. This is Martha Stewart for Snap-on Tools. You know, when I need a transmission jack, I always look to Snap-on Tools!

Or you can tell a story without telling the story. The Republican National Committee reported the lowest levels of cash on hand, since 2015. Adjusted for inflation, that’s the lowest amount ever. “It’s a revenue problem!” RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel says, “it’s because donors are focusing on local races.” Sure, that’s it! All those millions of dollars are going to that heated Road Commissioner’s race. McDaniel insists there is nothing  unusual about the party going broke in the run up to a general election. It happens all the time!

The story is; Republican donors see doom on the horizon, and they don’t want to finance it. They don’t want to buy the Republican Party a solid gold Titanic with their hard scammed tax dodged millions. The problem is Trump, and the big money is finished with Trump. Trump might play on their heart strings, but he won’t play with their purse strings. The big-money boys see disaster looming on the horizon and choose not to participate.

No bucks, no Buck Rogers. It screams disaster in a way polling 800 people at a Northern Virginia mall never could. If the big-money boys saw the election as anywhere near close at all, the money would flow out like water. The donation totals scream “Snowball’s chance in hell!”

And as if we needed more evidence, The new Marge Tater Greene book, “MTG” has finally reached its sales zenith at number 9,805 on Amazon’s best seller list. Edging out “Gardening with Witchcraft.” Again, no surprise. Ms. Greene is most noted for her Congressional ass hatted buffoonery. Marge is a side show comedian, what could she say that is profound enough and worthy of $4.95 shipping and handling?

The old adage follows; you can’t sell pictures to the blind and you can’t sell music to the deaf. And most of all, you can’t sell books to people who don’t read.

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” ― Mark Twain