This Carbon Based Life

Underestimate me, everyone does

By David Glenn Cox

This is the very reason the Republican Klan of presidential also rans can get no traction or generate any heat. Chris Christie, the mouth that roared, attacks Vivek Ramaswamy with phony moral outrage over Vivek’s treatment of Nikki Haley. In truth, Haley could step off into a vat boiling acid, and Christie wouldn’t give a rat ass.

It’s the old; how dare you offend this good woman sir? I object and stand in defense of this gentle woman’s honor and reputation sir! Why sir, “I’d horse whip you if I had a horse.” – Groucho

“We’re now 25 minutes into this debate and he has insulted Nikki Haley’s basic intelligence, not her positions,” Christie said. “Look, if you want to disagree on issues, that’s fine, and Nikki and I disagree on some issues.”

And Vivek is not the first to question Nikki’s Haley’s basic intelligence. Even Christie doesn’t disagree out loud on the facts, just the forum for the delivery. Christie is using Nikki as bat, to beat up Vivek. Look, we all agree she may not be the sharpest tool in the shed. But she’s a real nice lady, and you shouldn’t talk about her intellectual shortcomings publicly like that.

But Christie’s sudden outrage at basic, standard run of the mill Republican political tactics. Issues? Focus on issues? You make issues up! YOU tell them what to think, and you never let them tell you what to think. Did Carter beat Reagan with issues? It’s character assassination that wins elections. Is this a change in the Republican wind or just Republicans breaking it as a part of another cheap stunt?

Christie is trying to break the log jam as the also ran klandidates make no progress in the five-way tie for last place. As exciting as watching pitchers warm up in the bullpen. “Atta boy, Chris. Show em the old screwball!”

Chris, being focused on the issues and all then calls Vivek, “the most obnoxious blowhard in America,” adding “So shut up!”

Well, in reflection, I suppose that’s sort of dealing in facts. The most obnoxious in America, is purely opinion, but blowhard is a fact. I mean, it’s a big country and some villages have more than one idiot. After all, you can’t know everyone. There might be someone more obnoxious out there, somewhere.  Republicans munch through them like popcorn. Warm and popular for a second, before becoming greasy, cold, and unappealing.

First, it was Florida’s battling Mickey mouse fighter and champion of reverse intellectualism, in the also ran lead. Then Ron’s absence of a basic personality began to take its toll. There for just a hot second, it seemed Christie was moving the ball forward but that second has gone. Then, Nikki Haley becomes the flavor of the week.

So, by defending Haley, Christie also trying to take her down a peg. Don’t you dare call her dumb! It’s wrong of you to call her dumb, like that. Let’s stick to the issues and stop everyone from calling Nikki Haley dumb! That’s wrong, even if you genuinely believe Nikki Haley is dumb! There are many Republicans I know, who today know and like Nikki well. They would never sink so low as to call Nikki Haley dumb in public. Because they’re much too polite! Not like that big blow hard over there, spilling the beans!  Damn it all; now everyone knows!

Simmering and waiting just at periscope depth is the U Boat which sinks all who speak against Trump. The procession goes on and on, but the message barely squeaks through. The net is closing, and the dawn is going to come as Nevada indicts six phony electors on charges of knowingly filing false documents. How do you suppose that trial will turn out?

There are two fanatical and vehemently opposed factions inside the Republican Party. The Trump cult and the anti-Trump cult.  Vivek Ramaswamy says he’d pardon Donald Trump on day one. Assuring us he will never be President. A pardon doesn’t mean you’re innocent; it means you’re guilty, but we’re going to let you go anyway. A get out of jail free card! Go forth and sin no more my son!

Nikki Haley says it is time for a new direction, and we can all move forward into the sunlight. Let’s make America better, by doing stuff and stuff. Hear no evil, see no evil and speak no evil.  You really can’t get into too much trouble like that. Especially, if you’re… you know.

Christie follows the long line of Republican politicians coming from the shadows to condemn or question Trump’s motives. The other day Mitch McConnell said that he wanted to make it clear that there was no Senate Republican objection to funding Ukraine, Israel, and Taiwan. The only objection is coming from the Republican House of flying monkeys. And Mitch McConnell is putting speaker Mike what’s his name on notice, there will be suicide missions on his watch. You’re on your own Bubba!

The klandidates attack each other because they dare not attack Trump. (The orange, white elephant in the room.) Christie attacks Trump and falls to the back of the pack. Just like Will Hurd and just like Mike Pence before him. The Republican Party is hamstrung by Trump brain slugs infiltrating their body politic. A house divided against itself. The cultists unwilling to give an inch because to give an inch is to admit total defeat and possible liability. The anti-matter Republicans equally certain with Trump at the wheel comes ruination and disaster.

A lack of traction and financial woes shows a lack of excitement. Nobody else sets their hearts a flutter like the orange one, who is without scruple. There is an old adage in boxing which says, “you have to beat the champ.” You can’t beat the champ with style points or witty remarks. You must knock the champ down and take his crown away. You can’t shadow box your way to the top.

“How many times do you have to get hit over the head until you figure out who’s hitting you?” ― Harry S. Truman