This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

….Dateline, New York. EXTRA! Donald Trump shuts up! A feat once considered by scientists as impossible! Says, he’s already said all that he needs to say, as is his right. You can’t be compelled to testify against yourself. Finally, finally, after all these years the message has finally struck home that Donald Trump’s testimony is not a plus for the legal strategy.

A narcissist who thinks he owns the camera and always thinks he can save the day. Throw the little people some peanuts, ten minutes of a song and dance and he’ll have them braying for more. You know, “when you got it, you got it” confidence. It’s a confidence game after all, for Pete’s sake.

The sad admission that Trump will remain silent is stunning, and a first. Spinning on a dime from I can’t wait to testify to I’d rather not. Paging Winston Smith, paging Winston Smith! Trump to increase chocolate ration! Not many politicians out there who can reverse course entirely and his Play Doh supporters will just fall into line. It’s a good thing he did that. A real good thing! Down with Eurasia! All hail our great ally Eurasia!

Obviously, changing legal strategy or horses in mid-stream isn’t a good idea. What changed? Fear? The realization for cunning Cybil of the need to take over for blustering narcissist Cybil. “Shut up, shut up!” Breaking through the layers of the façade as Tommy stares into the mirror. Trump begins to understand he can’t talk his way out of this with his usual bluster and bullshit.

Trump reversing strategy when it all begins to get real. When Trump’s looking at serious legal jeopardy the time has finally arrived to shut up. But that’s New York and if that were all, but there is still Georgia to consider. Fanni Willis is talking about hard time. Perhaps it’s time to listen more and speak less.

Can it last? Can Trump manage to keep his mouth shut for any period of time? Is this a one off, or will Donald Trump begin to take other legal advice?

I can only imagine the seasonal festivities being prepared at the Mar-A-Lago mausoleum this year. It’s time to pull out the red trees again everybody!  But in his role as Senate minority leader for comic relief, Mitt Romney compares Donald Trump to a gumball machine. You put in a penny and out pops a gumball. There is no filter. Every time you put a penny in you get a gumball; it’s automatic. Maybe a red gumball or maybe blue or green, you just never can tell.

Now, the penny has gone in, and no gumball comes out. There is no other way to slice it, when the man who never shuts up, shuts up. That means something has changed inside the Trump camp. The understanding of his legal Jeopardy perhaps, and he has been stripped of his best weapon. Trump vents with the same stock Trump excuses on his Twuth website. But will say nothing in court in his own defense. Trump’s a tough guy out on the street but get him in a courtroom in a corner, and he has nothing to say.

Day by day and drip by drip, Donald Trump slowly becomes a liability for the Republican Party. A recent Iowa poll showed Trump ahead of the also rans 55% to 44%. A party divided down the middle and how will a Trump conviction affect those numbers?

How can a national party nominate a convicted felon as their leader? Trump makes authoritarian comments and gets everyone all excited. But Trump is scared and so blows up like a pufferfish.

“If I Were King Of The Forest not queen, not duke, not prince
My regal robes of the forest would be satin, not cotton, not chintz
I’d command each thing, be it fish or fowl, with a woof and a woof, and a royal
growl

As I’d click my heel all the trees would kneel, and the mountains bow and the
bulls kowtow

And the sparrows would take wing if I were king” – Harburg/ Harburg/ Arlen

The delusional ramblings of blustering Cybil lashing out as the walls begin to close in. A disaster spiraling out of control as the orange trolley slides off the track. As the walls close in Trump will say more and worse. By this time, the  monkeys have become calloused, and Trump must turn up the voltage to get the same reaction.

The Trump apogee has been reached and it’s all downhill from here.

Speaking of all downhill from here; Tucker Carlson has returned metaphorically from the dead. The former, as in former, Fox News personality will spend millions of dollars to promote a new streaming service, The Tucker Carlson Network. It’s just like Netflix or Amazon Prime only with more Tucker Carlson! Only $9.00 per month gets you Tucker until you puke.

Bill O’Reilly, Glen Beck and now trust fund Tucker. Zombie Fox News hosts out to prove they can get along just fine without Fox News or their audience. But a 2:00 AM radio talk show is probably awaiting him sometime in the future.

$9.00 a month just to stream Tucker. The stream will feature other programs as fill to backstop the Tucker fare. You know, in today’s competitive entertainment market. I struggle to see how Tucker’s Netdix can succeed. Tucker’s podcast on X Twitter sold like Marge Trailer Park Greene’s new book at its dollar store premiere.  

Watch Liz Cheney maneuvering towards 2028. Two wings of a well-armed party out to eradicate the other. The bat shit crazies versus the New normal Republicans. Ready to dispense with Trump and pretend that he never happened. Like Fox News dispensed with Tucker Carlson like he never happened.

Trump to increase chocolate ration! Two chickens in every new car! Shoes for Industry! Hail to the thief!

“Each rabbit would show respect to me
The chipmunks genuflect to me
Though my tail would lash, I would show compash
For every underling!
If I, If I, were King!
Just King!” – Harburg/ Harburg/ Arlen

Irony, as Ron DeSantis has no personality and Donald Trump has multiple personalities.