This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Arizona Republican seditionist Representative, but I repeat myself. Andy Biggs says, “Republicans have nothing to campaign on.” Well duh, Homer Simpson. How did you figure that one out? But to put a finer point on it, Republicans have nothing “Good” to campaign on. They could campaign on the many investigations of Hunter Biden or the hapless attempt to impeach Joe Biden while the roof caves in. Or even a nine-part miniseries, “Choosing a Republican Speaker” when no one really wanted the job.

Except for that one guy, that one guy nobody really wanted to have the job. But when threatened with eternal deadlock and public embarrassment, house Republicans caved and agreed to let Kevin McCarthy become the speaker of the house. Under one condition; we can fire him at any time we like. Sudden Death! What could go wrong? Start the job with a suicide pill in your mouth.

Kevin was commuting through the minefield between the two political camps of the Republican Party. Trying to forge a fragile peace between the crazies and the really crazies. The bomb the border baboons solving problems with bussing. Somebody else’s problem now! They could campaign on that! “We took these poor tired refuges yearning to breathe free and dumped them on somebody’s doorstep in the middle of the night. Pretty good huh? (APPLAUSE!)

The wedge between the two camps is Donald Trump. The Trump legacy zombies and those Republicans not anxious to have their picture taken with the Mara-A- Lago marauder this time around. No coat tails on this one this time around. Trump has become too self-obsessed and self-absorbed to glad hand and promote other politicians. This time he’s really pissed off! Trump is contemplating his navel from the inside by putting his head up ass.

And if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all! So, they live an Orwellian existence of Donald Trump with a Winston Smith chocolate ration worldview. Silently acknowledging the trials and tribulations of Donald Trump without ever saying anything at all.  Who? Oh him, what about him?

Across the room, Republicans sit who have come to realize that orange Tommy and blindfolded pinball isn’t the answer. The outcasts ejected from their office and Party for not being subservient enough to the cult. Republicans off the Trump treadmill just watching it go round and round, pointing out the obvious.

A house divided against itself and forced down a slippery slope. Do you believe the “Big Lie? Was the election really stolen? Gee, at one time that was almost obvious. And now…not so much. Are the prosecutions of Trump legitimate and on the level? Or is it the workings of an evil cabal? See how quickly one can be pulled into the abyss.

Because there is no leadership, they wander aimlessly about the field with no message but mumbling Trump’s and mumbling their own. “Jesus is coming any minute now, and this place looks a mess! Quick, get those books off the shelf!” Bomb Mexico! Death penalty for Drag shows or persecuting Hunter Biden to the ends of the Earth.

Nothing to campaign on? You could do a photo collage of Marge Traitor Greene or Laruen “Beetlejuice” Boebert. The many lies and investigations of the Jimmy Jordan thrill show. Or the Matt MacGaetz sagas. The midnight murder of Kevin McCarthy just to get even and just because he wanted too. But Gaetz illustrates the lone wolf don’t give a fuck approach. I’ll say whatever I want! You’re not the boss of me!”

The Republican Senate says…as little as possible. They don’t want to know or to be connected with these crazy house Republican extremists.

A do-nothing flying monkey Republican house against the backdrop and guillotine of a corroding and deteriorating  Donald Trump. Trump’s campaign and legal defense are one and the same and there is no divider between them. “They are all out to get me! Evil people everywhere! Cabals and Liberals. We’re under attack from all sides! Quick! Send me money!”

And the Republican message is Ooh wha, ditty, ditty! Dumb de dumb de dum, dum! Get out your decoder rings. Drink more Ovaltine! Drink more Kool aid. It doesn’t have to make any sense and you are not required to say anything, just play along.

Two more states are asking to remove Donald Trump’s name from the ballot. Where is the point of no return? Where is the tipping point where Republicans are finally forced to face the truth? Trump needs to be disqualified in how many states?

Let’s play pretend! Let’s just pretend Donald Trump isn’t there! No matter what he says or does, just ignore him. Nell Fenwick, AKA Nikki Haley’s Tupperware Party says, Trump should come down from the mountain top and join the Republican debates. Too harsh perhaps? She used his whole name and everything.

But Trump won’t debate a bunch of unemployed punch-drunk palookas. Absolutely not, nothing to gain in debating the JV team. Trump will host a town hall to counter program their little debate. Chris Christie, Tweedle dee, Tweddle dumb and Nikki dumber.

The most pressing political issue of our time is Donald Trump. Can Republicans hope to be successful by ignoring it?

You don’t answer my call
With even a nod or a wink
But you gaze at your own reflection! Alright!
You don’t seem to see me
But I think you can see yourself

How can the mirror affect you?

Can you hear me
Or do I surmise?
That you fear me, can you feel my temper
Rise, rise, rise, rise
Rise, rise, rise, rise
Rise, rise, rise, rise
Rise.

Do you hear or fear or

Do I smash the mirror?

Do you hear or fear or

Do I smash the mirror?

• Pete Townsend