This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

There is a lot of talk these days going on about artificial intelligence. Well, take a gander at this piece of organic “Classic” intelligence. See, if artificial intelligence has a chance to keep up.

“Think of it, magnets,” he said. “Now all I know about magnets is this, give me a glass of water, let me drop it on the magnets, that’s the end of the magnets. Why didn’t they use John Deere? Why didn’t they bring in the John Deere people? Do you like John Deere? I like John Deere.” – Donald Trump

Just because it is artificial, doesn’t automatically make it any better. It’s just, if artificial intelligence appeared to be this weird and disjointed, we’d all assume it was defective and try to correct it. Trump can’t be corrected. Trump famously wings it at these political stops off the cuff.

Go local sports teams! I sure do like …Corn! It’s great to be here in…um. Um, here in Io, ah wa. John Deere sure makes great hamburgers, don’t they? But apparently, Donald became befuddled by two conflicting ideas or abstract concepts caught on the barbed wire of his mind. Unable to reconcile magnets and a glass of water. Attention PHD candidates, here’s your thesis; “Water, Magnets and Donald Trump – Behind the Music.”

Give Trump some credit, he got the John Deere part right. But admit it, if your grandpa talked like this you’d wonder if it wasn’t time to contact the old soldier’s home. Time to put away any sharp objects and hide the car keys.  Replaying the argument in his mind over and over at 60 cycles a minute. Magnets > Water? Water > Magnets? Magnets > Water? Water > Magnets? Dissolves in water? Faster, faster!

Karma is cruel, he that casts the age stone might find some of his own windows broken.

The old duffer just had a bad show, that’s all. That happens sometimes, especially among the over confident and the under prepared. Yeah, whatever! I’m glad you people got a chance to see me! You know, it’s little people like you that help me to feel oh, so much better about myself. I mean, oh shit! I could have been you! And lived my whole life in this dismal one-horse town like this with a job at the feed store or bolting tractors together waiting in my future.

Time marches on, eventually without us. Until eventually, you can’t catch up with the fastball anymore and can’t run out the grounders. Trump is hitting the campaign trail as the Iowa caucuses grow near. Maybe he’s a little rusty and lost half a step. Despite the rumors to the contrary, Trump is mortal. And his life has become Twilight Zone deal with the devil down at the crossroads. I want to be rich and famous! Ahhh! I’m Donald Trump!

In what alternative universe, assuming all things are possible, does this story have a happy ending for Donald Trump? Facing literally dozens of state and Federal charges and opening new cases everyday as Trump is booted from state ballots. What good thing comes from this? Trump becomes one of the largest private employers of attorneys in the known universe. But this can’t go on forever, delay, appeal, eventually Trump will be convicted of something and then the world changes.

Not speculation and not suspicion, but a bona fide proven legal fact. Vote for US! Who cares what the courts say? And if elected…you ain’t seen nothing yet! Katy bar the door, hell’s coming to breakfast! Make America Felonious Again! Proud felons for Trump! How can a national party put forth a convicted felon as their standard bearer?

Trump is not new or improved this time around. He’s degenerated from “build the wall” and make Mexico pay for it to building concentration camps and make his enemies pay for it. The ravings of a mind only loosely attached and tied down inside his cranium. And now it appears the load has shifted and It’s not fun anymore. The cultist won’t be swayed but Mr. & Ms. Mainstream Republicans, will wonder.

With over 600 and counting Jan 6^th guilty pleas. The continuing saga of Rudy Giuliani. The Fox News defamation lawsuit. The plea bargaining of top Trump officials. Trump being booted from state ballots for sedition. Trump’s endless legal oddities and odysseys, “Pictures at an Exhibition.” Maybe, just maybe, there is a slight possibility that Donald Trump is what they say he is. Crooked as a dog’s hind leg as the sunlight burns through the fog.

These Republicans trapped by conscience will not try to proclaim their new discovered truth to the cult. That’s dangerous thinking and not allowed, thinking like that could get you kicked out  of the rotary. They will nod and smile their approval for Donald Trump but won’t vote for him. They won’t vote against Trump, but they won’t vote for him either. Come November, they will just stay home voting with their butt cheeks and the down ballot will say, “Oh shit!”

Some is just gravity, and some is statistics. You just can’t get more popular forever and ever, sooner or later everyone peaks. For Trump, that was years ago. He offers nothing to the electorate. Everything bad I’ll make good! There will be rainbows and sunshine every day! But first, let me tell you all about MY problems for a while! Let me bend your ear for an hour or so, about the screw job I’m facing.

We don’t dance macarena anymore, and we don’t care who let the dogs out. There is dust on the mechanical bull and the disco ball too. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to laugh and a time to cry. A time to vote for Donald Trump and a time to smile and only say you’re voting for Trump.

“And once you’re gone, you can’t come back. When you’re out of the blue and into the black. – Neil Young