This Carbon Based Life

BY David Glenn Cox

Damn it! Just damn it all! First, they get you all excited about a thing and then at the last minute, they cancel the fun fair. It was going to be great, and I had my Redenbacher ready and the old Curtis Mathis was all warmed up. Donald Trump was going to give the closing arguments at his civil fraud trial. Oh, my god, only a naked Super Bowl halftime show could ever top that!

Then the judge said “no,” and we the public are to be robbed and denied the pleasure of hearing Trump given the floor. A Trump ratings triumph and an entertainment spectacular! It’s not rocket science anticipating Trump; it’s an easy enough read.

They’re picking on me! They’re all crooked Democrats out to get me! My properties are worth ten times whatever they say they are worth because I say they are. My gigantic ego believes, if I bought a lighter for a dollar it would be worth a hundred dollars because I bought it myself. Trump is a legend in his own mind and Trump really believes it.

This is one of Trump’s bedrock characters. The self-assured macho Billionaire who makes money just by getting up to pee in the morning. The go-go 1980’s businessman with a helicopter and private jet and a yacht. The guy at 77 who still see himself at 55 in the mirror. The TV Trump, Aka, Mister Know it all. “You’re fired!”

But we all know of all the other events too. The failed airline and the failed university, a steak business gone wrong, multiple wives. Multiple bankruptcies and multiple failed business ventures and lawsuits. Living on a myth of a successful businessman. The duck paddling calmly across the water about to drown below the waterline. Living on his legend.

I do sincerely admire Trump’s stamina. Stumbling, fumbling and bumbling from failure to fiasco and yet getting up each morning to try something else. Walking into the office every morning and knowing what everyone was thinking. And behind their smiling facades and good mornings thinking “What a colossal doofus! Failed Again! An airline, what the hell was he thinking?”

If at first you don’t succeed, fail, fail again. Then came Trump’s television career where he could simply play his own image on TV. The boss, large and in charge. The cowboy actor who is afraid of his own horse. “You’re fired!”

Largest inaugural crowd ever? A touchstone perhaps? Perhaps Trump sees everything through his inaugural eyes. He had to have his own Social Media website because??? He’s too big not to have his own website. And sure, it’s not making any money, it’s just another vanity project.

The desperate criminal desire to stay in power rooted in a deep pyschological crisis about success and winning and daddy issues. Trump simply could not deal with the possibility that he lost the election. So, in one of Trump’s public personas, Trump becomes the victim. Declaring himself the winner in the face of contrary facts. Surrounding himself only with those who agree with his fantasy.

“You’re great and wonderful sir! And you’re always right sir! How could they ever say you didn’t win the election sir?”

On the one hand, rational people were explaining to Trump the how’s and why’s of losing the election. And Trump listened and bobbed his head and then completely ignored them. Because that information did not compute in the multiple personalities inside his head. “No!” I didn’t lose the election; I won! I won, I won! I just know I did! You ask Mike Lindell or Rudy or Sidney Powell. They’ll tell you!

On the other hand, cynical Republicans who didn’t care if Trump won the election or not. Republicans who saw an opportunity to steal power. Just pick up the stolen election football and run with it. Flip the election with phony electors, and Bob’s your Uncle and none is the wiser.

But Mike Pence! Damn Mike Pence refused to play along! He fucked up everything for everyone and doomed Trump’s coup. “I hope Mike Pence is going to do the right thing!” The mindless minions and miscreants malfunctioned malevolently misbehaving, marauding, and murdering Capitol police. Shocking the sensibility of the country.

Coup supporting Republicans feigned outrage before the cameras but voted not to impeach Trump. Wait, until Trump gets out of office they said. Then the Republicans grew quiet about Trump. Never mind the insurrection! What about Hunter Biden and his magical laptop of a thousand mysterious vices? What about the big tech companies, picking on Conservatives?

Reacting and not acting on events caught in the phony stage play. Republicans pretending to support while distancing themselves from Trump. No longer anxious to appear on the same stage anymore. Knowing the truth of Trump but unwilling to speak up about it. Playing along, riding the gravy train but declining the photo opportunity. Unwilling to praise Trump, but still unwilling to condemn him.

Republicans caught in the no man’s land in between. Each day the numbers and voices of these Republicans grow. Mike Pence said it best, “Anyone but Trump!” Time says, these voices will grow.

It can go no other way; the iceberg has already been struck and we’re just waiting on the water. If the judge had let Trump make the closing argument, maybe those voices would grow  a little faster. But I would wager Trump never had any intention of speaking to the court. Just another Trump stunt trying to Jimmy the court and garner attention. Trying to foster Cybil’s belief that everyone is out to get him. They’re all out to get me! Because they are jealous!

They can’t be me! They all wish they could, but they can’t! You’re fired! And you’re fired too! You’re all fired! Where’s my wife, she’ll tell you. Malaria, tell them I’m still the President! Get Rudy and Mike Lindell in here! I’m feeling insecure again.

I always get that way whenever “he” comes around. “He,” that other guy who lives here and fills my head with insecurities and tells me I’m not really the President anymore. I try to stay away from him as much as I can. I try to make him stay away with my happy thoughts!

“Comedy is reason gone mad” – Groucho Marx