This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Finally, some actual votes tallied. Votes which tell us exactly what we already knew. Trump 51% DeSantis 21% and Nikki Haley 19% Vivek Ramaswamy going home. No surprises to anyone, everything has panned out just about as expected. The Republican Party is deeply uniquely and mortally divided. Half of Nikki Haley’s supporters say they would vote for Joe Biden before Donald Trump.

But here is the contradiction, Ron DeSantis’s second place just as expected finish has earned him a well-earned rest and time off. No place to go and nothing to do now but take the “Don’t Back Down” campaign bus back to the rental agency. Nikki Haley’s somewhat stronger third place showing has earned her a trip to move on to the bonus round in the wilds of New Hampshire.

Haley’s has always had Ron DeSantis as a foil. What will she do on her solo tour when she doesn’t have Ron to kick around anymore? Ron, the boy who thought he could fly, becomes Icarus on that fateful day. Nothing to do now but go home and be the governor of whatcha call it… Florida. Term limited out of office at the end of this term Ron is facing an uncertain future. (With our extra special Fox News expert panelist Ron DeSantis.) Dancing with the Stars perhaps?

Speaking of pissing down a rat hole. Tucker Carlson has a message for you! Send him money and he will entertain you because Capitalism sucks. Carlson explains the current broadcast model allows consumers to organize product boycotts against hate speech. There by imposing their will through advertisers on his programming! So, won’t you please send him $9.00 per month? He promises to entertain, to enrage and explain away the daily outrages of modern life. Stop me if you’ve heard this story before. Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and many more!

One more from the Zombie squad trying to squeeze a living out of a dead horse. “I’m still BIG! It’s the pictures that have gotten smaller!” It isn’t that Tucker will ever go hungry. It’s about proving he’s still big! You haven’t heard the last of me! (Wanna bet?) The ID telling the ego, “I’m ready for my close up! It wasn’t that major corporation who gave me a desk and a lucrative salary, a time slot and a large audience. I did it! It was all me! Me! Me! Me! Those little people love me! You’ll see, I’ll be back!”

Nine dollars a month? I can get HBO/Max for the same money. Nine dollars a month for a podcast? Me thinks he thinks too much of himself. That’s damn near three joints at the dispensary  or a six pack of beer, for a podcast? For a Tucker Carlson Podcast? The magic eight ball says all signs point to outcome in doubt. The market is overwhelmed, every idiot with a microphone and an opinion has a podcast these days. (I don’t have a microphone.)

Tucker, just like Ronnie and Nikki, really just doesn’t have anything to say to the public. The issue is Trump, and the Republicans refuse to acknowledge it. They won’t speak about their dark future as Trump drags his Republican bride towards the altar of their white wedding day.

Trump holds 51% of Iowa voters but what choice did they have really? The former incumbent would be the expected favorite. A showing of 51% would be about an average showing and not exceptional. Trump lost the election in 2020 to Joe Biden with much greater support than this.

The big-money boys already know supporting Trump is walking through hell wearing a gasoline suit. As long as the Republicans refuse to speak the truth about Donald Trump being the most flawed, criminal  and contemptible candidate for any political office ever in human history. The Republican Party will remain fatally divided. Once Trump is convicted, the Republican Party is tarred with the same brush. The big felon tent! My country right or felonious! Only the question of how bad the down ballot damage will be remains.

If Trump is the Republican nominee, Republicans like maybe as much as 49% of them, might just stay home on election day. Their support for Ronnie and Nikki and Vivek is proof positive that many Republicans are so desperate for an alternative to Trump. They would literally vote for almost anybody besides Donald Trump. Trump will arrive in Milwaukee leaving a mucus trail behind him and will be crowned there the Prince of Fools.

Who does Trump pick as the VP? Nikki “Bird Brain” Haley? Or snatch someone from obscurity to be press ganged into running with Trump, ala Sarah Palin? Whoever it is, it will be a trip to the North Pole delivering ice. If you’re looking for volunteers for the team, you won’t find any. Time was a chance to be the VP for a 77-year-old President. A President who eats poorly and doesn’t take care of himself, would be seen as a big career opportunity.

So, what did Iowa tell us? Nothing much? It taught us Donald Trump can barely muster a simple majority in a safe space. Republican voters were given a choice of Trump or nobody and nearly half of them chose nobody.

Ron DeSantis’s presidential campaign is nearly over, and he came up a little short. I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist. I’m not certain if I’d ever get another opportunity to use it. Vivek’s delusional vote for Pedro campaign is over as well. Now it’s Nikki in the spotlight.

Trump must be careful not to squish Nikki too quickly. If he wipes out all his competition too soon there’s no one for Trump to run against. There is no excitement or surprises. There’s nothing to catch or hold the voter’s attention. Just more of the same Trump shenanigans and non-sense. Don Quixote without a proper windmill.

“I have nothing but respect for you — and not much of that.”
― Groucho Marx