This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Ask any rock star and they’ll tell you, it’s hard to make the adjustment between life on the road and life at home. Everything just seems a little slower at home and a little quieter too. And then, when you come home early because you failed to win anything but a bus ride home with your dreams dashed, everyone seems a little different somehow. Trying to be nice by steering the conversation away from Ron’s crushing defeat, “so, how’s things going with you?”

It’s okay, you’re still the governor of Florida and idol of millions. For a little while at least, till November. But he’s no longer considered “Presidential Timber.” That ship has already sailed away to destinations foreign unknown and arrival uncertain. He’s just another governor now. Aw, every state has got one of those. But now a real Presidential contender? Not too many of those around!

But a failed Presidential bid is the ultimate buzz kill. The ultimate let down, “Hello Mayflower? I’d like to get a quote please. Yes, to Washington DC.” Then…”never mind. Thank you anyway.” From the hurly burly of the campaign with aides at your elbow and national attention. To now making your own turkey sandwich, all alone in the kitchen looking for the mayonnaise.

Ron was a man on the way up, basking in the glow of the media attention. He had started early and had done his homework. He put his best foot forward, but somehow without any real serious campaign gaffs began to lose momentum. It happens sometimes, the audience falls out of love with you, and nobody knows why really. Ron lacked an ebullient personality and was not known as a King of the one liners. Without any redeeming character traits that saved Eisenhower and Kennedy. Are you perhaps a war hero?

He is no longer a man on the way up having reached his apogee. Now, just that fast in the twinkling of an eye. Ron morphs from Presidential contender to Lame duck walking. All of Ron’s enemies in Florida sharpening their knives as the predator is about to become the prey.

Trump seized immediately on Ron’s lack of a spontaneous personality and hammered him relentlessly with it. It doomed the DeSantis campaign. If only, he could have played the banjo or the saxophone or something. Maybe, he could have been saved. “Here’s a little “Foggy Mountain Breakdown!” I’d love to talk about that, but first, here comes the “Orange Blossom Special.”

Ron’s stature played some role in his early elimination. I know it’s not fair. But nobody wants the leader of the free world to be the smallest guy in the room. Ronald Reagan was a big hulking Zombie and Trump is a big hulking gallute toad wastoid as well. And while there is no clinical proof, it does seem obvious that stature has no direct genetic connection to intelligence.

From the beginning, the DeSantis campaign had management problems and competing factions, telling the candidate to do this or say that. Ron’s well publicized fight with Disney had blown up on social media making Ron the butt of Mickey Mouse jokes and memes. Short Mickey Mouse jokes and memes. With only two alternatives, either fight through it and continue as the rough tough, devil may care fightin Ron. Or backdown and simply shut up about it. The never back down campaign of Ron DeSantis decided to back down and shut up about it.

The Republican audience was eating up his Florida antics with a spoon. Banning books and attacking Gay people and attacking public education was a Republican trifecta, a wet dream. But the political calculations do matter, do you as a candidate attempt to attract people who probably won’t ever vote for you? Or should you feed the faithful cows waiting on your every word? Do you try to attract moderates by becoming a calm sensible alternative to the insane antics of Donald Trump? Or shoot for crazy with both barrels?

When Ron backed off his extremist culture agenda the Republican voters back off of him. He became just like the rest of them. Crazy is good Republican politics. Competing against Donald Trump, do they actually believe they can defeat him with a good strong logical argument? The Desantis campaign refused to answer Trump’s insults with the same caliber ammunition. DeSantis took his lumps and proved Trump’s point all at the same time, Ron DeSanctimonious.

Maybe Nikki Haley’s campaign is learning, maybe Ron’s political death wasn’t in vain. Haley’s campaign is hitting back at the Emperor’s wardrobe selections. She is beginning to understand that her 43% of Republican voters are anti-Trump voters.

The New Hampshire GOP was so certain of Trump’s victory they asked that Trump be declared the presumptive nominee by acclamation! Yes, do away with votes and elections! We love you so much; we don’t need an election. Too soon? I hate the smell of chloroform in the morning, don’t you? Nice try Don.

Nikki hits back with the trifles and travails of Donald Trump. Trump responds in typical mob boss style by issuing an ominous warning. Anyone who gives money to Nikki won’t get nothing in a future Trump Administration. Republican democracy in action! You better or else. Nikki only needs to survive to thrive because the Republicans need an alternative for November.

While Trump successfully duped the majority of New Hampshireites. He still faces a rocky and uncertain legal future. No one can say what will happen between now and November. The Republicans don’t dare face a national election without a candidate…and a spare.

The questions of Trump’s mental acuity just keeps rearing its ugly head and the words “mental” and “decline” just seem to go together these days.

Best for the Republicans to keep an Error with a spare, waiting in the wings.