This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

News Flash! House Republicans have voted to impeach Homeland Security Secretary Mayorkas! In a move which surprised everyone in idiot land. Along Party lines the house voted to impeach the Homeland Security Secretary. Mayorkas, in his official capacity, had let the sun come up when house Republicans wanted to sleep late. He let it rain when house Republicans wanted to go outside and play.

“Look!” the Republicans say. “We have to blame someone. If not him, then someone else.” It is an election year, and the Republican plan is to demonize the migrants. To ignore in a mindless delirium, all the reasons why all these people are coming. I think I’ll abandon everything and go for a thousand-mile walk. My ancestors came here on a boat. It wasn’t nice or pleasant. They didn’t own the boat. But they had a ride and a meal to eat, and a bed to sleep in. Door to door service from a miserable hovel in Ireland to a rundown tenement in America.

Republicans say Mayorkas didn’t do “enough” to stop the migrants from coming. Yeah, and John Wayne didn’t do enough to save the Alamo. Make that storm go away, that’s an order! When they say enough, what they mean is, do what the Republicans want done the way they want it done. You do what we want, or we will impeach you! And your little dog too! We will impeach everybody, even your momma and your daddy.

The problem Republicans have is the same problem back up alarms have. The more they multiply, the less people pay attention to them. If you impeach everyone, it becomes near meaningless. Mayorkas has the near impossible task of trying to control the situation while pleasing house Republicans in the process. Those that can, do! And those who can’t, impeach!

It doesn’t matter if it is a pointless exercise, it’s Fox News fodder. Repeated and rebroadcast ad nauseum  to the mindless minions falling for another “War of the Worlds” broadcast.

“Double, double toil and trouble: Fire burn, and cauldron bubble. By the pricking of my thumbs, Something wicked this way comes.”  – The three weird Republicans

All coordinated and planned out. Bubba Abbott in Texas stirs the pot creating an incident that becomes a court case (FNF Fox News fodder). Handed off to a friendly Federal Court which remarkably suggests that states need not always follow the Federal government during an election year. It was always thought Federalism would stick, but alas no.

Riddle me this Batman; if states don’t have to listen to the Federal government anymore. Do they still have to listen to the Federal Court? A part of that same Federal government the court just ruled states don’t have to listen too? Good Job! Ladies and Gentlemen, the former Supreme Court. How about a nice round of applause? Not everyday you see a judicial body rule that you don’t need to pay any attention to them anymore. All for political expediency.

A giant Macy’s Thanksgiving  Day Republican Parade. This year’s theme, “The Migrants are going to murder us all in our beds!” And of course, the standard Republican party line, the “This is all Joe Biden’s fault!” blimp, circling overhead.

Oh look, it’s the Joseph Goebbels float! Fanning the flames of demagoguery in everyday life. Groups of melon headed citizens are traveling to the border to protest. To demand that Joe Biden, DO SOMETHING about the border. So that house Republicans can tweak Biden on the nose and vote down the bill the Republicans helped to draft.

Like the mechanical mice of Frostbite Falls, they can’t be stopped. The plan is to create a frenzy and light a fire inside the little people. If we can turn up the heat enough maybe… they will forget the house Republicans have accomplished bupkis. Hearings and subpoenas yes! Accomplishments no! Discoveries? No, none to speak of. Convictions? No, none to speak of.

Firebrand and failing idiot congresswoman Lauren Boebert and comic relief congresswoman Marge Tater Greene have a long running feud. Over the issue of which one of these darlings decided to impeach Joe Biden first. Fighting for authorship credit like it was an original idea. “But you said that you’d vote for my bill and didn’t! Instead, like a sneaky bitch you wrote up your own articles of Impeachment! Just to steal my idea and make me look bad. He’s mine! You find someone else to impeach!”

Like flint hitting steel the idea is to generate a spark. Get em good an fired up. Make em mad! “I sure hope Mike Pence will do the right thing!” Make em mad enough that they call out on the Tasty Freeze and drive that old F-150 down to the border to protest. Only by getting in the way and causing trouble at the border can they hope to attract the cameras needed for Fox News fodder.

Sold a bill of goods like the children of River City. You can too play musical instruments, if you think you can. You can build a musical wall too. And if you don’t see the wall, it’s there. That god damned wall Donald Trump built had stopped them all. Until Joe Biden just arbitrarily opened up the floodgates. The less than lucid idea that migrants somehow give a tinker’s damn about who is the president. They are coming regardless.

Things must be pretty fucked up for them at home to leave everything for a thousand-mile hike. If it’s not safe at home with gangs and thugs. You can hardly blame someone for trying to stay alive or protecting their family. If their economy is so fucked up, they can’t earn enough to stay alive…ditto!

Used like a pawn by the Republicans, the migrant’s suffering is Republican political gold. Used like a wedge to fire up the little people. Put up the razor wire! Send out troops with machine guns! Put ‘em on a plane and blame Joe Biden for it. Kristallnacht! But never, never, ask why they are coming. It could trigger an adverse emotional response of empathy in the little people.

“Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction.”
― Harry S. Truman