This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Subtlety isn’t a strong suit as Lara Trump recommends the Republican National Committee pay all of Donald Trump’s ballooning legal expenses. Donald Trump is nothing more than a parasite on the Republican Party attached to their entrails feeding on the party. And now is demanding more. More! Pay my legal bills! Cut my lawn, order me a pizza.

“That’s why people are furious right now. And they see the attacks against him. They feel like it’s an attack not just on Donald Trump but on this country,” – Lara Trump

Shameless, It’s the party’s patriotic duty to pay my Father in-laws legal bills, it’s their duty. Because these attacks are an attack on America. (add fife and drum music here) Just sign the damn check and let Donald Trump fill in the amount at a later date. Most certainly such sentiments will depress the already depressed electoral giving season.

People want things for their donations. They want candidates who can win. If your strategy is to milk the party dry to subsidize their criminality, they’ll only give the minimum. Donald Trump using the RNC as his personal piggy bank which will make contributors run, not walk, away from the Republican Party. The penny stinkers can dance and chortle, but no bucks from the big boys and no Buck Rogers.

“Having someone like me in there I think will go a long way for people. I can assure you that my loyalty is to my father-in-law, and I will make sure that every penny is used properly,” she said. “It should be going to fight for Nov. 5 for the causes that we care about.” – Lara Trump

Run! Run! Run! Red lights flashing rhythmically hypnotic! Alarm bells going off ringing in our ears! Holy Jeebus, Holy Jeebus! “For the causes we (We) care about.”  I wonder what causes those could be? FREE MONEY! Woo hoo!

I saw my first Nikki Haley advertisement on TV the other night. Succinct and to the point, Jan 6^th was all Donald Trump’s fault, and he should be made to answer for it. My favorite part was the closing. “He will only get worse.”

A political advertisement of indisputable unvarnished truth. That says it all! If you think he’s bad now, just you wait. You ain’t seen nothing yet! It illustrates the reasonable fear of the more reasonable element inside the party that Donald Trump is a ticking time bomb looking for a good place to go off.

That Donald Trump could unwind like a grandfather clock mainspring. He could say or do something publicly unhinged, something outrageous or sacrilegious. The court rulings against Donald Trump could limit his ability to compete on a national level. Humpty Dumpty could have a great fall, and nothing could be done to help him back up. Leading to the belief that the dollar not donated to Donald Trump is a dollar well spent.

Republican Speaker of the House, The Reverend Mike Johnson was asked to give a little speech. A sort of pep talk trying to evoke a little party unity inside the Republican party. But if you ask a preacher to speak on just about any topic, you’ll probably get a sermon instead.

Speaker Johnson went off on tangents about the moral decline of America. Declining church attendance and shrinking religious identity. Problems that keep most Americans up nights. Declining church attendance! Survey says: XXX.

The meeting was supposed to be about maintaining the evaporating Republican majority in the house, but Elmer Gantry had other ideas. It pissed people off and fell flat because the speech went on and on with the usual religious zealotry. You know how church people just love to talk about church padding their delusion.

The speech pleased few, bored some and angered many. The one thing the speech did not do was to inspire any unity. The speech made clear the Republican disunity and dysfunction. You asked him to make a speech about A. and he gives you a speech about B. Mike gives a long-winded pot boiler of what really grinds his gears, hey glory!

Mike is their leader, but everyone is free to dissent. You don’t have to follow along or do what you are told for the good of the Party or nothing. You can do whatever you want! So, remember, Mike is the Republican leader, but you don’t have to pay any attention to him if you don’t want to! This was the guy who was supposed to inspire unity.

Donald Trump is the ersatz presumed Republican Presidential nominee. He is their leader, and the Lemmings must follow him without question. He has a plan for his campaign, Revenge! What might he do or say tomorrow? “He’s only going to get worse.”

A Republican Party in shambles after a long weekend at Caligula’s. Bitterly divided over Donald Trump, Bible thumpers and investigation pushers. It’s all gone wrong. Trump is facing bankruptcy, Hunter Biden walks the streets a free man and Joe is still the President.

It is like hearing the screeching car tires and waiting for the inevitable crash at the end. Mike Johnson is their leader and non-leader. Donald Trump is their unquestioned lord and savior and “he’s only going to get worse!”

Strap in and buckle up Buttercup! It’s going to be a bumpy ride. The trip will be very exciting, but the ending is already preordained. He’s only going to get worse.

“Many busy executives ask me, “What about the job displacement market program in the city of the future?” Well, count on us to be there, uh, Clem, because, if we’re lucky tomorrow, we won’t have to deal with questions like yours ever again.” – The Firesign Theater