This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Hats off to the Jimmy Jordan stunt cycle. Struggling to make a weak case with the outcome already predetermined, Jimmy has a bad day at the haberdashery. His central witness around whom his investigation into Hunter and Joe Biden was predicated was arrested and charged with lying about it all by the FBI.

Lots of inflammatory Russian stories in the news these days. (Russia, if you’re listening) And the Jimmy Jordan stunt cycle’s lead witness has ties to Russian intelligence which doesn’t help matters any. Leaving the question, did Republican leadership including the stunt cycle know and just not care? Or were they naively duped into believing information “too good to be true.”

Republicans are desperate to throw their turds in the monkey house. All an ancillary function of the big lie and Donald Trump’s revenge tour. Republicans promised to impeach Joe Biden with or without any evidence before the session ever started. Now, the stunt cycle certainly isn’t giving up over a little thing like their chief witness being compromised.

Either Jim Jordan has one yellow tie which hangs on the doorknob of his office at all times. A tie that is put on like pants whenever Jimmy is going into public. Or the stunt cycle has a full wardrobe of identical yellow ties. Jimmy yellow tie says without ever mentioning the name Smirnov. Yeah, but there is other stuff, like the crooked election. Really Jim? You’re not really going to go with that tired old chestnut. Are you?

The influence peddling investigation will now spin on its heels and become an investigation into the most investigated Presidential election of all time. Just running out the clock for the Fox News fans at home. Putting the best face on a dead issue. Republicans just want to “get to the bottom of it.” Without ever defining what “it” is. It is whatever they can dig up or whatever the cat or chance drags in.

It sort of delegitimizes the investigation if the loss of the main witness has no effect on the outcome. Okay then, we’ll just investigate something else! It would almost have looked respectable if Jordan had faced the cameras and announced in light of the new evidence the committee will close the issue. Instead, Jordan presses forward proving the investigation is a sham.

The Fox News Theater of the absurd as a Fox presenter thinks Trump’s new Chinese made sneakers are really shaking up the hood. Because of course, Black folks just love sneakers. The former President sure was clever. He’ll carry the black vote in the inner cities for sure now! Just casually racist and overtly patronizing to their white audience. You know how Black folks like sneakers!

The audience is well trained to salivate at the ringing of the first bell. Hunter Biden was using his father’s name to get jobs and make deals through influence peddling. No wait! What about the 2020 Presidential election? Look, squirrel! Shiny thing! Chloroform it and bury it someplace while nobody is looking.

Just when it appeared it could get no worse for Republicans. The Alabama Supreme Court says, “Hold my beer!” Declaring frozen in vitro embryos are actually children. Frozen solid little children living in a subzero world like Hans Solo or Walt Disney. The Alabama Supreme Court reminds a generation of women across America of child bearing age why they should never, ever vote Republican.

Just another brick in the wall as Donald Trump is mum on his sixteen-week abortion ban. Don’t talk about it publicly, just nod and wink to the minions. Fertilized embryos now become the subject of child support as the embryos can never be thrown away and will now outlive their parents. Children locked out of our warm world for lack of a human host. Mothers condemning thousands of their own children to a frozen hell from which there is only one escape.

States of the Confederacy are gibbering along following the Alabama ruling, “Where can we get us some that stupid too? Junior, break us off a piece of that stupid.” Hillary Clinton says they’re coming after birth control, duh! They’re coming after everything. If given their own way you couldn’t legally sleep with your hands under the covers.

Tell the impure thoughts committee of the anti-sex league all about it. There is a filament of madness to it all. Embryos are frozen children, reading books can make people Gay! School teachers are out to destroy America! Scientists are a bunch of liars and oil companies are your real friends. Read your Bible!

A religion that champions life and redemption while ignoring the lord’s genocide for disobedience.

“Mark my word, if and when these preachers get control of the [Republican] party, and they’re sure trying to do so, it’s going to be a terrible damn problem. Frankly, these people frighten me. Politics and governing demand compromise. But these Christians believe they are acting in the name of God, so they can’t and won’t compromise. I know, I’ve tried to deal with them.” ― Barry Goldwater

“A God who could make good children as easily a bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave is angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice, and invented hell–mouths mercy, and invented hell–mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people, and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man’s acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites his poor abused slave to worship him!” ― Mark Twain