This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Joe Biden to debate Donald Trump twice? Why? What for? Whose idea was that? What’s to be gained by that? See, I’m smarter than that guy? (Hell, who isn’t?) Mark Twain advised to, “never to argue with an idiot because from a distance you can’t always tell who is who.” Never give a clown three rings and spotlights. Never give Pagliacci a stage.

A trip through the sanitation plant, breath deep! A shit show of massive proportions. Turn the volume way “up.” Turn the brain way “off” and wait expectantly for the first Trumper’s mind to be changed. “Say, now that I’ve listened to him, visa via Mr. Trump. That Joe Biden really makes a lot of sense!” Always as a rule debates are about appearance and performance. And maybe picking up a few undecided voters unless you look like a constipated Richard Nixon.

Joe Biden has worked middling hard to bring some dignity back to the office of the President. And now you want him to do an hour on stage with Magilla Gorilla? In a comedy scenario, the straight man is sedate and formal and stiff and most likely to get crème pie in the face. What tools can Joe Biden take to the debate…facts? How can Joe win an argument with Trumpers armed only with facts?

Trump will appear on stage in his orange gorilla suit performing his great hulking idiot routine. And provided he doesn’t shit himself or wet his diaper shorting out his microphone. The bar being set so low the self-serving media will declare it all a fine show. Maybe Trump will tell us more about some of his other favorite fictional movie and TV favorites. ‘You know, that Batman is really a hell of a guy! I need a car like that!” Trump can do or say anything. Joe Biden is required to stick to the relevant facts, while Donald Trump is not.

Not much to gain by playing to your opponent’s strength. If you aren’t familiar with the differences between two candidates by now, it is unlikely an hour of television is going to bring you up to speed. Sure, maybe Trump will self-destruct live on stage or make a fool of himself. When doesn’t Trump make a fool of himself? The penny stinkers like it! Being History channel and Fox News educated, they neither know nor care about the major differences between shit and Shinola. “Trump make big noise, he win! Trump put hand in armpit and make farting noises! Yeah! He win!

As a general rule of political thumb, only the candidates who are behind generally want to debate. In this case, the polls are mixed. Who is up and who is down is open to debate, but I would rather be an incumbent than a challenger any day of the week. Trump is trying show his fictional strength and the Biden camp is giving him the opportunity. Why would the President appear on stage with a side show Bob refugee and future fleeing felon? Why dignify Trump’s campaign?

Better to quarantine Trump, talk about him but don’t talk to him. Let Trump stew in his own legal morass and let him fret and fume about Judges daily. Sun Tzu advises; “If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him.” So, accommodating Donald Trump would be what? Wrong? Don’t give Trump anything to talk about except his own trials. Keep the focus on Trump’s wrong doing and his candidacy will take care of itself.

You can see this in the droid scouts showing up at Trump’s hush money trial. The mob shows up to lend their support for the boss. The creatin patrol of the droid scouts in court to show their support for their fearless leader. Mike (Penile euphemism) Johnson, and Doug Burnham there to show their support for Trump and their distain for the American criminal justice system. Embarrassing themselves with their march of the little toy soldiers into the courtroom.

Trump using his Trump monkeys to speak for him. Trying to make a circus out of the court. Instead making a circus of his own court. Tommy Tupperware Tuberville with the lunatic fringe jughead band. Vivek Ramaswamy and others fighting their own losing battle with obscurity.

The greatest threat to Donald Trump’s campaign is Donald Trump himself. Don’t help him. Leave him alone. Let him finish the sad last act where the artillery shells start falling all around the bunker. Let him further fatally divide the Republican Party and please don’t try to stop him.

The dissolution and erosion has begun, and the tide is definitely going out. So, they begin circling the wagons trying to show strength but showing only the opposite. “You better watch out! I’ve got Doug Burnham and Vivek Ramaswamy here on my side! Who shows up in court to defend Donald Trump in court? Nobodies, freaks, losers, never wases and Lauren Boebert.  It looked like a Looney Tunes cast picture.

Time is running out and the walls are closing in on Donald Trump. Trump calls for help and look at the motley group who answered his call. Tommy Tuberville, Rick Scott, Vivek Ramaswamy, Lauren Boebert, and the rest of the Republican Addams family. Not exactly what you’d call the A team.

MacArthur’s Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it
‘Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again
Oh, no – Jimmy Webb