This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Tutti Fruiti, oh Rudy! Tutti Fruiti, oh Rudy! Tutti Frutti, oh Rudy! Wop bop a loo bop, bop bang boom! It’s rare, but it happens. Rudy Giuliani has had his bankruptcy petition dismissed by the court. Generally, there are only two reasons why most petitions get dismissed. The first is when the petitioner wins the lottery and no longer needs bankruptcy protection. The second is when the judge smells a rat. A big rat.

No, Mr. Giuliani did not win the lottery. And yes, the judge all but called Rudy out as a lying sack of shit. The judge accused Rudy of being dishonest from the start. And so, turned him over to the credit piranhas for immediate consumption. Like the Oklahoma Land rush, Rudy’s creditors are now free to lay claim to Rudy’s assets. Like a scavenger hunt, if you find it, it’s yours!

And there must be diamonds out there to find. Because what kind of fool would work that hard hiding assets, if there weren’t riches to be had? Trying so hard and so clumsily and getting his petition dismissed leaving himself absolutely naked before the law. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we get into bed with Donald Trump. Donald Trump is one of the two men who brought Rudy to this ruin. The other being John Barleycorn.

Rudy is but one of the links in Donald Trump’s chain of victims. Mike Lindell, Bill Barr, Jenna Ellis, Mike Pence and busloads of others. Basically everybody, anyone who ever gets into bed with Donald Trump. Imagine, a former Attorney General of the United States who couldn’t get hired to run a register at McDonalds. Mike Lindell had a great idea to sell pillows. Then he had another great idea and became involved with Donald Trump, and it destroyed his business.

That’s the way it goes. One day you’re on top, rich and famous and friends with the Orange President. The next you’re broke, and nobody sees you around anymore. You disappear into the void of the former friends of Donald Trump. Trump can’t be seen with losers hanging around even if Donald Trump is the reason for their calamity. “Don’t worry, once Donald Trump sees we’re in trouble. I’m sure he will help us, we’re really close!

After the Battle of Midway, the Japanese Government told the home folks of a Great Victory. Despite losing four aircraft carriers and the flower of their naval aviation. They could not tell the truth without publicly losing face. They were supposed to be all powerful and superior in every way to the Americans. No differently than Donald Trump can admit any defeat. If it goes the wrong way, it never happened or it’s a lie and the former President doesn’t know you! Turn and burn baby, turn the page.

It makes you wonder at this. Why one would aspire to Trump’s circle when it seems the rewards could be so fleeting. While the liability goes on and on. If you get into bed with Benedict Arnold, you could get fucked. And yet like moths to back porch light, they are irresistibly drawn. It points to character or lack of, who is willing to do anything for success? Who will gladly get into bed and plump the pillow. While all around you are the victims/former friends of Donald Trump. It’s not even a question of “Will I get fucked? But “When will I get fucked?” There is a bus out there somewhere with my name on it. And one of these days, I’m being thrown under it!

“Hello Dad?” Who is this? “It’s me, your son.” Who? “It’s me; it’s Don Junior!” Look, whoever this is. I don’t need any auto warranty. My father and I had a somewhat strained relationship at times, but I never had to call his Chief of staff to arrange a conversation? In this relationship you must do everything to make the Fuhrer happy and expect nothing in return. Because that is the best that you’re ever going to get out of it. Ask Bill Barr, Mike Lindell, Mike Pence or ask Rudy. Petting the shark will not make him any friendlier towards you.

So, the new Henry Ford decides to throw in with Donald Trump on his road to self-destruction. In the early 20^th Century, Henry Ford made automobiles affordable and became rich and extremely popular. In the early 21^st Century, Elon Musk was making space travel and electric cars affordable. He also became rich and popular. Henry Ford being a “certified genius” began to pontificate and give his opinion on the issues of the day. Through his anti-Semitic, anti-worker, backwoods country boy screeds. Henry Ford went from one of the most popular Americans to one of the least popular, in just ten years.

Enter the New Henry Ford. Now let’s stop and ponder on this subject for a minute. You have successful businesses worth billions and billions of dollars. Basically, Elon is untouchable. Elon has very little to gain by donating money to Donald Trump. This is a one-way street, Bubba. Trump’s not going to give Elon a reach around no matter how much money he gives Trump. It’s more dangerous to have Trump as a friend than as an enemy. The record speaks for itself.

Remember when Sinead O’Connor tore up the Pope’s picture on Saturday Night Live? Oooh, bad career move.

How dumb would you have to be to throw in with Donald Trump? Look around! Look at all the dead bugs under the porch light! Yep, the new Henry Ford. All of those other hundreds of contractors, friends, coworkers, and close acquaintances all just got fucked by Donald Trump on accident. That could never happen to me! Donald Trump is my friend! I gave him money so that he will be nice to me. We’re close!

“The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.” ― Niccolò Machiavelli