This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Then it became like all that was, was no more. And all of their weapons became our weapons. Republicans had studied middling hard and had their strategy all mapped out. Joe Biden was too old. Boy, oh boy, was Joe Biden too old. Too old! Farts dust old. Then Joe Biden passed the torch to someone twenty years younger than Donald Trump.

A political passed ball if ever there was one. The Republicans didn’t see that one coming. They might have brainstormed the idea over coffee and cocaine, but I doubt they ever really planned for it. I can prove it. What Joe Biden did was a selfless act of an incredibly decent man. What Republican could ever anticipate such as that? Voluntarily bowing out for the good of all? Is he crazy or something? You kill to hold on to power. You lie, cheat and steal to hang on. The Republicans never saw it coming.

The first attack ads asked if Kamala was in on “the cover up.” Joe Biden was in mental decline and Kamala knew all about it, yet she did nothing. Well, that may very well be true. Only Joe Biden has now stepped aside. So, what cover up are you talking about exactly? That’s all you got on short notice? She worked there while Joe Biden aged?

All of a sudden there is a new vibrancy in the campaign as if everyone were breathing a collective giddiness and sigh of relief. Like you almost had a very serious accident. But you’re going to be alright now.

Scared? You’re damn right they’re scared. Their entire Republican strategy of labelling Joe Biden as a doddering old codger applies only to Donald Trump now. And next to Kamala Harris, Donald Trump looks very old indeed. And there is no known antidote for it. Trump is like an old car sitting next to a brand-new car now. He’s last year’s model and his age is showing and needs some serious maintenance. Ridden hard and put up wet. Hair don’t fail me now! Despite the best in follicle engineering Donald Trump’s skin dome can no longer be hidden.

Cluelessness as all they can try and do is to tie Kamala with Joe Biden, but Joe’s not in the race anymore. Joe Biden’s age is no longer a relevant question, but Donald Trump’s age is fair game. The more they try to make Biden’s age an issue they now make Donald Trump’s age the issue. Joe Biden has stepped aside. There is only one old coot in the race now, Gramps.

I know, let’s have a dance marathon! The first candidate face down on the floor loses! We could have a staying up late contest! Or we could all get down on the floor and play Twister for all the marbles. Best four out of seven wins! Left foot blue!

We have all witnessed quiet history with the passing of the torch to Kamala Harris. History will be very kind to Joe Biden. Did you know the Marshall Plan to rebuild Europe was originally called the “Truman Plan?” Harry Truman changed the name because Congress liked George Marshall and they didn’t like Harry Truman. It was more important the package was passed than who got the credit for it. And that’s why Republicans and Democrats alike call Harry a great President. A tough little bantam rooster of a man always certain to do the right thing, regardless of public anger or acclaim.

Everyone criticized John McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin as his running mate, but the wisdom is now clear. John McCain never had to worry about Sarah Palin writing something hostile to American ideals or incriminating. Something dangerously radical and potentially a threat to the campaign. As J.D. Vance or whatever his name is really wrote the forward for Project 2025. The Republican Mein Kampf. Or as Ms. Harris put it, “Can you believe they wrote this down?” Coffee and cocaine again.

They get full of themselves and begin to compile a wish book. And we will get rid of all of our enemies! (snort) I can move out of my mom’s basement once we take over! And chicks will dig me too, I’ll finally be cool! But it’s only the drugs talking. However, J.D. endorsed the very rag Donald Trump is now trying to distance himself from. It’s amazing, don’t you think? Nobody thought to ask J.D. are you published anywhere we should be concerned about? Did you ever write any exposes for Stormfront?

It’s the Fuhrer principle. If the boss picks him, that’s that. The boss is always right even if he’s wrong. Only the foolishly future unemployed would ever challenge the boss.

Who would have ever guessed it? The Republican Vice-Presidential nominee is taking attention away from Donald Trump. And it’s only his first week on the job. Donald Trump may be invulnerable, but I’m guessing that Trump’s super power is nontransferable. The Republicans wrote it all down all right, and J.D. endorsed it. Now Trump and the Republicans want to disavow it all, but J.D. endorsed it! J.D. put his John Hancock right on the very first page.

Many Republicans rightly fear a blueprint for a fascist takeover of the United States. A plan complete with scarlet letters and concentration camps could possibly hurt Republicans at the ballot box in November. And now, J.D. Vance has chained them all to it. Could J.D. be due for some torch passing of his own?  The only way for the Republicans to get shed of Project 2025 now, is to get shed of J.D. Vance.  First week on the job, his mother would be so proud!

“Fame is a vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings, those who cheer today may curse tomorrow and only one thing endures – character.”  ― Harry Truman