This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

So, it’s Governor Tim Walz, a Minnesota populist from a state famous for smiling gregarious populists. Former Vice President, Hubert Humphrey was known as the happy warrior. Humphrey led the band in 1948 as southern Dixiecrats walked out of the Democratic convention over desegregation. Good bye and don’t let the door hit you in the ass on your way out. Paul Wellstone was a Minnesota tour de force and an intellectual populist. Who ever would have thought our leaders could also be real smart?

He was hired as a college professor at Carleton College. Most have never heard of the place, but it’s this little private college. It costs a gazillion million dollars to attend if you’re lucky enough to get in. It makes Harvard tuition look like Community College. But it’s one of those secret clubs regular working people have never heard of. You have to be real smart just to get in the place. So, you can only imagine what it takes to get hired.

The thread that ties them all together is Minnesota Liberalism. Everyone deserves a place at the table as a fact and not a question. You can have jobs and environmental regulation. Good schools attract good jobs. Minnesota optimism! When I lived in northeast Ohio, if we got six inches of snow. People would grumble, another six fucking inches. In Minnesota that would be, “We dodged a bullet ah? Only six inches!”

Smiles and confidence being for the right things because they are the right things. At the eleventh hour after trying everything else, they decide to be Democrats. Smiling and confident Harris – Walz ticket versus That crazy man and Oscar the Grouch. It appears the train will not arrive on time as expected. The little choo, choo appears to have gone off the rails.

I can’t improve on this! God couldn’t improve on this!

“What are the chances that Crooked Joe Biden, the WORST president in the history of the US, whose presidency was unconstitutionally STOLEN from him by Kamabla, Barack HUSSEIN Obama, Crazy Nancy Pelosi, Shifty Adam Schiff, Cryin’ Chuck Schumer and others on the lunatic left, CRASHES the Democrat National Convention and tries to take back the nomination, beginning with challenging me to another DEBATE. He feels that he made a historically tragic mistake by handing over the US presidency, a COUP, to the people in the world he most hates. And he wants it back NOW!!!” – Donald Trump

Well, sure, sure that might happen! Up the medication immediately. I bet it would take a professional more than a week to unpack all the crazy in there. He forgot Hillary Clinton, that’s not like him. He must be slipping. Last month, Joe Biden was too old to be President and now he’s made a tragic mistake by dropping out. Okay. Trump can’t fathom anyone stepping down for the good of someone else.

Why does this scenario remind me of a Marvel superhero movie? Donald Trump will fly into the room on his golden flying surfboard. He will make a couple of laps of the room challenging Joe Biden to come out and debate. Then he laughs maniacally and flies out the window trailing an orange vapor.

“The Edge… There is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over. The others-the living-are those who pushed their control as far as they felt they could handle it, and then pulled back, or slowed down, or did whatever they had to when it came time to choose between Now and Later. But the edge is still Out there.” ― Hunter S. Thompson

I bet I know someone who knows where that edge is. Of all the crazy statements Donald Trump has ever made, this one has to be one of the Trumpiest. Of all the Donald Trump’s in the world he is without a doubt, the Donald Trumpiest. Just railing at the electronic wind about his enemies in a wacked out schizophrenic scenario. All that is missing now is a bunker and Eva Braun.

Trump is counter punching the air because he is frightened. From the very beginning there have been whispers about J.D. aka, Oscar the Grouch. Trump chose him because he was a chump off the old, old block. Trump saw something in him the rest of us didn’t and still don’t see. But two negatives don’t make a positive; they make a double negative.

Trump is now saddled with a Mini Me he can’t escape from. A case of distance making the heart grow fonder. I expect J.D. will soon be campaigning from home. There’s only room for one maniac on this stage! And if Trump loses, guess who will be found at fault? Trump’s message is clearly delusional panic.

“Shane! Come back Shane! Maw wants you to stay and so does Pa!” Joe will be back! He’s coming back, I feel it in my bones. I got it all planned out! Then we will debate again, and I’ll win again!

What we have here is a failure to communicate. The transmitter is transmitting but he ain’t picking up the signal. Trump is lost on another frequency, and it won’t get better by itself. Chances are, Trump will keep drifting through the spectrum bouncing from wavelength to wavelength. Only occasionally hitting a random frequency.

It could be, but I wouldn’t swear to it. Donald Trump’s cookie is beginning to crumble. Trump’s message is pure anger and rage with familiar names thrown in only as guideposts. It is his wishes and wanna be fantasies all rolled together in a genuine panic. Donald Trump inadvertently told us the truth; he is scared half to death.

Remember: If you wind up the little rubber band too tight. It will eventually break, and the propeller won’t spin right anymore.