This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Holy smokes! The Trumptanic has struck an iceberg and is going down by the bow. First, the polling shows Donald Trump trailing by the margin of error in three key swing states. Every state is essential to the Trump campaign. There are no extra-Wyoming’s or unessential states in the Republican road map to victory. Trump needs to run the table to have any hope of winning.

But it is even worse than first thought. Oh my God, Trump’s own internal polling shows him at less than 50% in OHIO! Oh my God! Someone pull the fire alarm, OHIO! Maybe every time a bell rings, an angel gets their wings but every time a Republican polls less than 50% in OHIO, they get their ass handed to them in a cardboard box on election day. Even in a suburban Subterranean Homesick Blues without, OHIO there is not even a ghost of a chance.

Republicans in Congress, try making helpful suggestions to the Trump campaign. “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! For the love of God, shut up about crowd size!” This is the psychology of losing. A general panic where no one knows for sure exactly what to do, but everyone knows for sure what not to do.

Then there is the little boat anchor who could J.D. Vance. How did they ever pick this guy? Whose stupid idea was that? Oh. In 2021, J.D. said, the government needed to be “ruthless” in pursuing its immigration policy. If sober, Sarah Palin must be feeling pretty good about herself right about now. She’s not the worst Vice-Presidential candidate ever anymore! Sometimes, it’s better to be all the way dumb than only part of the way smart. You can see the choice of Sarah Palin or Dan Quayle more clearly now.

She doesn’t know anything, so she can hardly cause too much trouble. And even if she does hold some crazy ideas, she can barely articulate them. “You can see Russia from my house!” But J.D. Vance has inscribed a special place for himself in the failed VP hall of forgottenness. It is rare when a VP candidate single handedly sinks a ticket. Mr. Trump needs to run the table and Mr. Vance is the eight-ball hanging on the edge of the pocket. A Tasmanian devil meme machine. The Eddie Haskell of our generation. He’s that mean kid you grew up with always picking on the little kids and kicking over their sand castles.

How bad is it? It’s discussed openly in the Republican press. The question was openly asked! “Maybe we should ditch this guy and get somebody good!” When was the last time you ever heard something like that? Republicans might have loudly questioned the choice of Sarah Palin but not to the point of dumping her. I bet the Trump campaign has anti-anxiety meds in the office in a candy dish. Helter Skelter is coming down fast!

The Donald taking on water suggesting we are all in “The Matrix.” And you can’t ever believe what you see with your own eyes! These aren’t the droids you’re looking for! There are no crowds around her airplane! There is no airplane! She’s not even really there! There is only me! Mirror, mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all?

Okay, so Mr. Trump is not taking their friendly and well-intentioned campaign advice and instead Mr. Trump is doubling down. Donald is pushing the envelope because when the delusion is challenged, in for a penny in for a pound. Besides, it is a one-way street when challenged he could hardly be expected to get more rational. So, there is only one avenue left open to him. “The Matrix” and “Robo Cop” and maybe even throw in some Tony Stark. Trump tries the old Groucho Marx line. “Who are you going to believe? Me or your own lying eyes!”

In our polarized electorate there are only two choices. Either vote for the candidate of your choice or don’t vote at all. This explains the panic in Republican Congressional circles. Here in Arizona, As most of the Republican leadership is either under indictment or already convicted in the phony elector’s scam. That is the sort of thing which can really put the hurt on fundraising. Republican Senate Candidate Kari Lake is Mr. Burns in drag and is down by 10 points.

Mr. Trump is pumping out ads across the Arizona airwaves. Ms. Harris campaigns in Arizona as Mr. Trump campaigns in Montana. What? Wait a minute!  Montana? Who the hell thought of that? Oh. Three days ago, Ms. Harris led Donald Trump in an Arizona poll. Et tu Arizona?

The negative campaigning has fallen flat. You can’t attack a guy with 24 years of military service, especially with Lance Corporal Billy Butt face. The guy who walks through the Ashley Showcase shop semi erect and distracted by furniture porn.

It is the nature of things in short attention span theater. Dodge was pumping out those PT Cruisers as fast as they could make them. Then one day they couldn’t give the damn things away. One day everyone was dancing down at the disco, then one day they weren’t. No more Jell-O jumps or air guitar competitions. For Republicans, Donald Trump is largely running against himself and against his past performances. And has been suddenly found lacking. They won’t vote for Kamala; they will stay home and not vote for anyone.

It’s the psychology of losing. The belief that it is all fixed, pointless and preordained anyway. Donald Trump’s not the same old Donald Trump anymore, he’s just old. He’s lost a step and talking nonsense most all of the time now. And if Donald Trump can’t hold OHIO, it is all over but for the crying. It’s easy to contest a close election, but not so an ass kicking.

“While one who sings with his tongue on fire
Gargles in the rat race choir
Bent out of shape from society’s pliers
Cares not to come up any higher
But rather get you down in the hole
That he’s in” – Bob Dylan