This Carbon Based Life

BY David Glenn Cox

From the shores of Smith Corona to the seas of Appalachia. Marines stormed the beaches at Iwo Jima and Okinawa too. Tough jobs don’t scare Marines. But when is a job too much to ask? Too big for one poor Marine on the beach all alone. Even if he is the rootinest tootinist combat correspondent this side of Paradise Island to stumble out of the Ohio backwoods, since Daniel Boone.

No tanks, no artillery, and no air support. Daniel all alone in the lion’s den. Armed with nothing but his wits and not much of that. Even under normal circumstances the job would be daunting. This is all new stuff for J.D. Traveling in the inner circles of power and all and having a code name. Using the right fork. Heady stuff! Being important and all. Having your own airplane. But when the wheels touch down and the engines grow silent.

It becomes time to hit the beach. Not just to convince the minions to vote for him. But hitting the beach attached at the hip to three hundred plus pounds of Goofy Goo. The human gaffe machine. J.D.s task was Herculean. To defend Donald Trump’s comments about Veterans. An old lady in an evening gown that cost more than a BMW is much more important than a bunch of stupid jar heads taking a beach under withering machine gun fire. That’s a lot to ask of a Marine.

But they also serve who just buy things with large checks! Digging in, J.D. steps on his tie. Semper Fidelis! Always faithful! The motto of every good Marine. And with a straight face J.D. says, “Do you know who else is always faithful? Donald Trump!” Ooooh, ouch, the judges say no. J.D. would have done better to have just left it alone. Always faithful? Donald Trump? [Stop here if need be.] It gave me pause when I first heard it too.

You could describe Donald Trump with just about every adjective Webster ever thought of, Except faithful. Trump is the polar opposite of aways faithful. Unless you include a scenario where you expected to get screwed into the ground by Donald Trump. Then he’s always faithful. Why not ask Mike Pence? He knows all about Donald Trump’s fidelity. You could ask Donald’s wife Malaria about Donald’s fidelity. You could even ask the draft board about Donald’s fidelity.

You could ask John Bolton or Bill Barr or Kari Lake. Gosh, you could ask lots of people. You could interview a population of millions and still be hard pressed to find any who seriously believes Donald Trump is always faithful to anyone or anything besides himself. Except for one poor Marine trying to climb his way out of obscurity wrong by wrong. He must be putty in the Don’s hands. J.D.? [Gulp] “Yes sir!” I tell you what I want you to do for me. “Garsh, my very first solo tour!”

I want you to go tell the people how faithful I am, J.D. And then all of sudden, you can see the strings of the marionette being pulled. This is a replay of Trump’s famous Doctor’s visit. Remember, where the hippie looking guy claiming to be a doctor of thinkology declared Donald Trump as healthy as a horse? He’s not just faithful, he’s always faithful! Always! Every time. You can bet on it. That’s not the “over the top” they were talking about J.D.

It is difficult to say who is doing what to whom. J.D. isn’t helping either because of his own unpopularity. But is J.Ds unpopularity rooted in Donald’s Trump’s failing luster? Could they not like J.D. because he reminds them, they’re getting pretty tired of Donald Trump? Or is Trump’s pick of J.D. more of an example of why they are getting tired of Donald Trump? It’s a vicious circle when there is dissension in the ranks. It only takes one loud mouth to point out the King’s nakedness.

It’s official, Donald Trump is shipping. The verbal gaffes pile up from four (count em) four press events consecutively, despite a teleprompter and a media director. The event was about Israel and somehow, we time slipped back to 2018 and the good ole days of ass kissing billionaires. The question is no longer, can Donald Trump recover? The question now is how long will they let him fail? Flailing publicly and unable to stay on subject, bless his pointed little head. The elevator no longer goes all the way to the top floor.

There are whispers in the dark about ditching the old boy in the woods and getting us someone good too! But they won’t ditch him but only because they can’t. It’s far too late for that. But just the fact the issue is being discussed speaks volumes. The right-wing talking heads are already pissing to mark their territory, so they can be ready with an “I told you so!” when the right time comes.

There is an underlying fear growing inside the Republican Party. How long the skid? How large are the skid marks? A reasonable fear Donald could go all puddin head on them and collapse. “Moo goo banana face! You know Hillary had those emails. I liked playing Angry Birds. We’re having hot dogs for lunch! Is the election over yet? Are you, my Mommy?”

It happens, first they love you and then they hate you. Then finally, they want to forget all about you and move on to something else. It happens to most politicians and celebrities; fame is fleeting, and popularity is a mystery. No one remains popular forever.

And all alone stands one Marine trying to hold the line by selling his soul to the devil. “Let me see your War face! Bullshit! Work on it! You don’t scare me!”

“I would rather be a Medal of Honor recipient than the President of the United States!”
― Harry S. Truman