This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

My late father was a golden gloves boxer who lost in the finals on points. Dad always used to say, “When the champ starts to train himself. The champ is going to lose.” Herr Donald recently rehired Corey Lewandowski, despite his weird sexual proclivities and a tendency to talk too much when a drink is in his hand. How the mice do scurry when they sense the cat is approaching.

Don’t just stand there, do something! Make it stop Mr. Wizard, I’m scared. A month ago, they were all calling dibs on offices and now? Creepy Corey is to be Mr. Trump’s personal representative to the campaign. Wait. What? Are they not on speaking terms and just sending angry texts back and forth? “You tell him for me that I said and the horse he rode in on! Jetson! You’re fired!

Mr. Trump doesn’t speak directly to his own team? Talk to the hand! See my hired man Corey about your trifling concerns, but make sure the lights are on first and someone is with you. Mr. Trump held a rally in Wilkes-Barre, PA. Attendance was good, but not great. “Good seats still available!”

Everyone, as in everyone, from the Indian Chief to the cop on the beat has told Donald to get back on message. To knock it off with all the personal attacks! And how does Donald respond? He goes out on stage and says, “They don’t like it when I go off script.” Then Donald commences to go off script and do all the things they’ve been begging him to stop doing. “You’re not the boss of me! Speak to my representative about it!”

“But the other day, anytime I hit too hard, they say I’m rambling, rambling.” Mr. Donald still thinks they’re all wrong, and he knows better than all those expensive experts.

“In her speech yesterday, Kamala went full communist,” he said. “Comrade Kamala announced that she wants to institute socialist price controls. You saw that never worked before … It will cause rationing, hunger, and skyrocketing prices.” Fear Mongering 101 from beyond the wild blue yonder. It isn’t that Mr. Trump is just lying anymore. He’s become more and more delusional, speaking about things which aren’t really even there.

But missing was the enthusiasm. The crowd was flat and not overly excited by Trump, but more curious about Trump. Like they had come to see for themselves if what they were witnessing on TV was really true. The jokes weren’t selling, and the applause was only opening act polite. And behind Mr. Trump in the crowd people could be seen looking at their phones. The 21st Century equivalent to the kiss of death.

Who is in charge here? Who can tame Wild Bull Donald? Who dares to try? Now! Now we know why they weren’t out campaigning more vigorously sooner. They were keeping the old boy under wraps in the cooler. Lest that flap on the front of his face worked loose and began to flap out crazy stuff. “You know, they say you’re rambling sir. I don’t ramble. Sometimes I speak for two hours at a time, but I don’t ramble. I’m a smart guy.”

When the champ trains himself… New polling says North Carolina and Virginia are now in play. Ms. Harris leads in Arizona by the margin of error. Arizona has a senior population and North Carolina and Virginia are the new South. Two regions and two populations abandoning Mr. Trump. If the Don has lost the seniors in Phoenix, he’s probably lost them in Ann Arbor and Pittsburgh as well. If Virginia or North Carolina goes for Harris. So will follow Georgia.

There is a hard and concrete law in modern American politics. If the Republican candidate doesn’t poll at least 50% in OHIO. The Republican candidate will lose. Don is only at 48% and Obama did it twice. Quickly, we can see the ice is melting on the lake, and puddles are beginning to form. The path forward appears perilous. Mr. Trump can’t afford to lose any swing states, let alone lean Republican states.

Mr. Trump has been obsessed with Kamala Harris’s Time Magazine cover. Mr. Trump claims he is better looking than Ms. Harris. (Mirror, mirror on the wall) No mental health issues here! That’s perfectly normal. Someone stop him! And eight years ago, the public would have laughed it all off as quirky Trump, just being Trump. Now, the population as illustrated in Wilkes- Barre wonders, if he’s serious or if he really means it.

Herr Donald hears the devil’s footsteps close behind him and getting closer. The panic sinks in, and he attempts to turn back the clock. Going back to the good ole days when it all worked. “Fix it, Corey! But keep your hands to yourself.” But that plan won’t work. You can hire all the same staff but it’s still a different electorate. 2016 has become your father’s Oldsmobile. The kids don’t dance to that stuff anymore.

A battle of wills and ideology. Donald Trump vs. his campaign. The Don knows what the people really want and he’s not listening to Yale 95 telling him about it. Paying people large sums of cash to guide you and manage your campaign, and then not listening to them is called…crazy! Cray-cray! Screw loose. But you watch, as he’s now going to show them all they are wrong! Ms. Harris is polling within the margin of error in Florida, but Mr. Trump’s Mara Lago support still seems solid.

The monster frightened by the fire has broken his chains and is running loose terrorizing the countryside and the Republicans are now powerless to stop him!

Meanwhile, down at Trump campaign headquarters;