This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

You can see it if you squint just right. Mr. Trump is just flailing now and just ranting random memes. Mr. Trump wanted to debate Joe Biden. But when Mr. Biden stepped aside Mr. Trump wasn’t so sure he wanted to debate Kamala Harris. Then, he agreed to the same terms and times as with Joe Biden. Out of the blue, shotgun style, Trump announces a debate September 4^th on Fox. With all the terms he’d asked for previously. Trump called Fox News, secured the time and then called the Harris campaign to say, “take it or leave it.”

The Harris campaign answered, “we’ll leave it. Knock yourself out.” Trump wails, “she’s afraid to debate me.” but when he got there nobody cared. Like an arrow through the heart the conversation was just dropped at “no thank you.” Don’t you want to make a counter offer? “No thank you.” Who knows? Maybe that is the exact moment Mr. Trump discovered the ground was shifting beneath his feet.

Do you know what speaks volumes? Little big man J.D. Vance saying, “ignore the polls.” Well sure, ignore the polls. The ghost echoes of every losing political campaign ever say ignore the polls. I don’t know if the Republicans will lose this election or not. But they seem to think so. You can almost hear the band playing “Nearer My God to Thee” on the deck of the Titanic.

“Comrade Kamala Harris has just informed us that she will NOT do the Fox News Debate on September 4th,” Trump wrote on Truth Social. “I am not surprised by this development because I feel that she knows it is very difficult, at best, for her to defend her record setting Flip-Flopping on absolutely everything she once believed in, including her statements that THERE WILL BE NO FRACKING IN PENNSYLVANIA and her HORRIBLE Performance on the Border, our ‘Border Czar,’ where millions of criminals and people from mental institutions and terrorists, have been allowed to pour into our Country, totally unchecked and unvetted. It’s called, and she LOVES IT, an OPEN BORDER!!!”

Mr. Trump’s statement can only be described as unhinged. But it is possible to decode primitive Trumpanese. “I’m not surprised by that.” Means that he was surprised by that because he knows everything. “She knows it is very difficult.” Means, he knows it will be very difficult to defend his record. “Fracking” Grist for the local folks. How about that local sports team, huh? Border, border, border, border, border, border. Placing all the eggs neatly in one basket.

I have a question, when did Kamala Harris ever say anything about fracking in Pennsylvania? That sounds like one of Mr. Donald’s whoppers. Facts he made up himself just for this occasion. Because I think he’s wrong about fracking. The oil company comes to your house with a check and if you say no, they come back with a bigger check. If you still say no, they go to your neighbor’s house with a check. You end up with no check and no clean water. Mr. Trump sees fracking the way the oil company sees it. Money uber allis and screw those rubes and weed benders anyway.

I don’t know about your house but at mine the Trump advertisements are nonstop. The Trump campaign is buying airtime with both hands. They are spending like the election is next week. Like firemen trying to put out a four-alarm fire in crisis mode. Quick throw money at it! Quick remind them of something bad! Tell Elon to get his check book out.

Not surprising, none of Mr. Trump’s advertisements include Mr. Trump reciting his own clear-eyed vision for America. None mention little big man’s ideas for deporting one million people. The last time we tried that it was called the Trail of tears. Their message is to mark my words, something bad is going to happen to you! It will be the end of the world! Either vote for me or the devil will be poking you in the ass with his pitchfork!

So, Mr. Trump pulls an old Ronald Reagan trick. Challenge them to a debate and if they don’t show you use the time as a campaign event. A Town Hall event with Sean Hannity! Sitting around the cracker barrel discussing politics like just plain folks do. What do you think we ought to do about… the border? Who do they think will actually watch this spectacle besides the diehard, dead eyed softheaded Fox viewers?

And even Fox has been cutting away from Trump live coverage, they see it. We all see it. The next time Donald Trump speaks will probably be as bad or worse than this time. No matter what the subject matter is supposed to be, Mr. Trump can’t stay on it. Is this a problem which you think might correct itself? Or will it only get worse between now and election day? Maybe they can talk to him and just tell him to stop acting like a doddering old man in cognitive decline, angry because we’re all out of applesauce.

And when he got there nobody cared. Donald Trump had it all planned out. A debate on Fox but Kamala Harris’s campaign said no and that was the end of it. Ignored! The cruelest cut of all. I wanna debate on Fox with my crowd on my date, and with my moderators! Only then it came down on him. Only the campaign that is behind, actually “needs” to debate.