This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Now, now, you boys settle down, that’s enough. The right honorable reverend deacon senator Mitt Romney says he’s scared. Because if re-elected, Donald Trump will try and “git him.” Now, now, calm yourself. Clever! Don’t you think? Mitt could just come right out and say, “Don’t vote for Donald Trump.” Instead, we get a little drama and excitement for our nickel. Now, chances are it’s all just preacher speak. Wrapping everything up in a warm and comfy parable. “I knew a rich man once. And he had a very bad temper.”

The question to ask ourselves, is this just political hyperbole or could Mitt really mean it? No matter what Mitt says, there will always be skeptics like me. “No really, he’s threatened to kill me!” Yeah, sure. Sure, he did. Does he turn off the headlights and slowly drive by your house at night?

My skepticism is based on four short words, short-term memory loss. Donald Trump at this point only remembers who kicked him last. Mitt crossed Trump years ago by voting to impeach. But even in Donald Trump years, that was wives ago. Trump was impeached again after that. Then he started a riot and tried to overthrow the government. Voting to impeach seems so long ago and seems almost trivial now, in hindsight. That Trump should still keep warm the embers of revenge.

“Gitting someone” is crossing the political Rubicon. And Trump hasn’t gotten anyone yet (that we know of)  and has been gotten himself once in the world’s most dangerous ear-piercing demonstration. And then, they tried once again, so who is zooming who here? At his last rally, Trump had a shield in front of him which would stop an anti-tank round. Is Donald Trump really a big bad man or a rat in a cage with a good PR man? Is he capable? Let’s see, a New York property developer with strong connections to the Russian mafia at highest levels. Yes, there is a capability.

But we’ve all seen the Godfather; if you go around gunning for folks Santino. They will come gunning for you. And Mitt has several million Mormon soldiers on his side. Mitt Romney would probably be the last guy I’d threaten while visiting Utah. Politics makes such strange bedfellows. Mitt and Don have been at loggerheads for years. And the people of Utah love Mitt. Don hates Mitt and Mitt hates Don but Utah still love them both. That’s why Mitt has to be clever about what he says.

But let’s be realistic; Trump is facing down some serious federal charges and multiple multimillion dollar judgements against him. His business empire is tottering. He’s paddling furiously, trying to beat the sinking presidential tide as it runs out. Donald has a lot on his plate right now. Does Trump still have time to worry about Mitt Romney? Or is it a Nixtonian style enemies list of school teachers from Omaha who once wrote nasty letters. Somehow, I just don’t see Donald Trump as organized enough to have a practical enemies list.

Nixon was petty and pathological in a “I’ll get you Red Baron” sort of way. Trump is more of a pinball bouncing from bumper to bumper without the time to take notes. He knows who has screwed him, of course, but I don’t think he has the ability to brood over it. Like Frankenstein, if you shove a burning torch in his face, the monster reacts badly, but I don’t think there is any revenge plan attached to it.

Word on the street says Jack Smith is about to drop a bomb on Mr. Trump. At this point maybe it’s overkill. The Bismarck vs. half the Royal Navy. Worn down, slowing and decks awash, out gunned, outmanned, and out sailed. A presidential campaign evaporating into smoke . If elected, Trump promises he will reclassify Marijuana from schedule one. Despite never doing it during the four years, he was the President.

Trump promises to end needless incarcerations, while at the same moment promising to round up and incarcerate millions of immigrants. It’s doublespeak Winston! Big Brother favors a larger chocolate ration while at the same time being against it. Like free condoms at the anti sex rally, Trump is both for and against everything.

He won’t impose a draconian National Abortion ban and Yes, he will try to impose a draconian National Abortion ban. Whatever it is, whatever you feel strongly about Donald Trump feels it too. He’s for it or agin it, just like you! As you like it!

Obvious and obnoxious pandering to our lesser angels. It’s not so much the vulgar herd is easily being  manipulated as that the vulgar herd doesn’t care they’re being manipulated. “But Brawndo’s got what plants crave. It’s got electrolytes!” Following the big parade and the big Madison Avenue noise machine. Clueless as to what it all means in the course of their own lives and the course of time. Willingly following the Pie-Eyed piper off a cliff just to hear a simple tune.

It’s frightening in a Jack and the Beanstalk sort of way. Knowing with the right application and work ethic a fella could get rich in this country selling magic beans at the livestock auction. I saw an app the other day to help you keep up with your spending habits and your expenses. Only $60 per year, will put you on the right track to frugality.  

“I would not be a Moses to lead you into the Promised Land, because if I could lead you into it, someone else could lead you out of it.” ― Eugene V Debs