This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

Gosh, just think. If I had had the foresight to run in a couple of Republican primaries against the slum King. I’d probably have a government job by now. Doug Burnham gets the Department of Interior job, and he was only in the race for around twenty minutes or so. I’d be angling for the Department of safety pins, hair clips, and non-ferrous hub caps.

Vivek Ramaswamy is running around talking about “him and Elon.” I’ve never heard Elon mention having a mouse in his pocket before or ask anyone for help. Elon is the special sole starring host of the Elon is special show. Not the Elon and Jerry Lewis Barney Rubble look alike dumb ass sidekick show. That weird guy trying to ingratiate himself with the guys by passing round pictures of his sister. “Am I one of the guys yet? Wanna see my bank balance? I’m rich too, you know! Just like you guys!”

Just one more in the thundering herd seeking the largess and favor of the slum King. Getting, while the getting is good. But one face is missing from the trough. And from a purely visual standpoint there is no great loss. But from a political standpoint it is peculiar. With Tulsi Gabbard’s bus driver about to be named our ambassador to Liechtenstein, nothing in the pipeline for retro Ron DeSantis? Not even director of an Arctic polar research center? He’s gonna be out of a job in January. It can’t go unnoticed, everyone else got a job except for Ron.

That’s the way it goes. Sometimes the slum King smiles but he never explains. So, this rogues gallery of misfit all-stars will tackle the conjoined tasks of deporting eleven million illegal migrants. While rounding up millions of homeless for “treatment.” Is that term “Soviet” or ominous enough for you? The government is going to round them up lock stock and barrel head and give them all the “treatment.” Then they won’t be homeless anymore.

All while keeping the economy functioning at a high level. What could possibly go wrong? Removing millions of workers from their jobs. Throwing a wide net. Arrest them all and let god sort them out. They had the same problem in Russia not too long ago. The police were looking for draft dodgers by looking for them at their jobs. The program was widely successful as nearly 100% of all draft age suspects completely stopped showing up for work. Leaving factory floors idle.

Bureaucracies work to eat and once mandated to remove the undesirables will become single minded in their task. The Diary of Anne Gutierrez living in a hidden attic outside of San Diego. The slum King wants to be allowed to make recess cabinet appointments in lieu of the regular confirmation process. Never you mind what’s in their background. None of your fucking business! So, what! He’s an MDA cowboy who sleeps with under aged, teenage prostitutes. Who doesn’t?

But how are these converging agendas not going to crash into each other and burn the economy? Who will round up the million migrant march and where shall they put them all? Will we deport en mass or case by case? Surround the apartment building knocking on doors and start checking papers? Or one by one at the Laundromat or the grocery store?

Hey Mexico! Here comes another bus load, ready or not! What do you mean it’s not legal? We asked the Attorney General of the United States, and he said it was. And the Supreme Court agreed with him! Badges? We don’t no stinking badges! Those old tattoos alone could be your one-way ticket to Central America, citizen, or no. “He looks illegal to me sarge!”

But this is only the chocolate syrup on the ice cream. Let’s examine sinister from a whole new “modern” view point. It is true Lauren Boebert attended a house hearing on UAP’s aka UFO’s. But it’s not 1955 anymore and the time for being parochial is over. Thousands of pages of documents, photos, and videos. Thousands of sightings by pilots every year. But because Lauren Boebert was in the room the media tried to make the story about her and not the subject at hand.

Glossing over the true horror of what was going on at this hearing. It seems, this expert panel was suitably convinced of the existence of Alien craft and Alien technology. It’s time, they said, for the government to open up and release all the information they have on Alien technology. Not for a historic  mankind meet up with other worldly beings to tell them all about Jesus and baseball. But Holy shit! A fella could make a lot a money with technology like that!

New York to Los Angeles non-stop in twelve minutes! Of course, it would still take three hours to go through security and get a rental car. Money, money, money, money, money! That’s all they are worried about; we could make a lot of money with stuff like that! Go away Alien! You bother me. Yeah, yeah galactic peace sure, sure. Look, we need to dismantle your spaceship for a little while, little buddy. Feel free to wait in our customer lounge area. Help yourself to a complimentary cup of coffee or bottle of water.

We don’t know who they are or exactly what they want with us. But they know they want one of those flying whizz bang things. A fella could get rich if he had one of those!

Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Our five-year mission is to make money. To seek out new worlds and new civilizations to gather up their technology. To boldly go where no man has gone before and make money from it. Stow all carry-on luggage in the overhead compartment, our flight today will take around twelve minutes. Please don’t tell me about artificial intelligence until they perfect the original.

Well, you wanted to live in the future, didn’t you? You dreamed of electric lights flying cars and color cable TV. But it hasn’t really worked out the way we thought, has it? The future is conveniently located, one minute away from nirvana and one minute from the stone age.