This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

A swing and a miss! The plan was simple enough. Like something out of “Full Metal Jacket.” A shock to the senses. Scare them down to their socks right off, and they won’t give you no trouble. “I’m Gunnery Sergeant Donald and you’re not going to like me very much!”

All a part of the King’s campaign of bluster and bullshit. Kicking over trash cans and threatening people’s livelihoods. All a part of the plan to beat down any resistance before they know what hit ’em. To instill fear with the King’s henchman in the wings waiting with axe and knife, caught between hammer and anvil and hopefully cowed into a stupor.

And so it begins, roll up, roll up for the mystery tour! The King gives his accent to a bipartisan spending bill. And then, a few hours later says, “Nope! Not good enough!” Not because there was anything actually wrong with the bill. It was just the King sending a message. “I don’t like it! Do it all over again. Christmas break? Bah Humbug! Fuck you! Do it again! Because I said so, that’s why!

There’s a new Sheriff in town, and I’m nobody’s sweetheart! This is a one-way street, got it? I talk, you listen. I say what and when and you answer, “Yes, of course.”

It is entirely possible the King will wear out his Honeymoon period even before being sworn in. And starring in the role as Henchman number one, Elon Musk displays his Jerry Lewis style comic Congressional skills. It would have gone better if Elon hadn’t even shown up. He was the gel that congealed and hardened the resistance.

It is a truism that members of Congress tend to develop an independent streak once elected. They sometimes take offence at unelected, not employed in government, hot shots. Who don’t even know where the men’s room is, telling them how it’s going to be from now on.

With each swing and miss, mighty Casey’s bat comes into question. Matt Gaetz, Pete (the drunk) Hegseth and RFK shooting up Heroin in a van down by the river, and now this!  We’re not off to a rip-roaring start here, are we? Coming Soon to a Congress near you! House Republicans will try to pick a new Speaker. The current Speaker, Mike Penile Euphemism is considered a lackey in the King’s employ. Making him unpopular with some in the rank, and more rank-and-file Republican membership.

Then Elon was sent scurrying behind the couch as a whipped puppy screeching. But, but, but I’m Elon. I’m the richest man in the world. Don’t you care? It’s me! Elon! Why won’t you listen to me? I’m rich! I speak for the King!

At this time, we should all take a moment from our busy day to pause and reflect on the King’s sociability skills. The King’s friendships tend to be transient in nature and subject to change without notice. Rudy Giuliani and Mike Lindell, Bill Barr, Chris Christie, etc. The determinant point in these relationships are when the “friend” in question is no longer useful and becomes a political liability. Then out you go, like yesterday’s trash.

If you and I as amateurs can see these things from thousands of miles away from Washington. How is it the richest man in the world doesn’t have a clue? “He likes me! He really likes me! I’m his best friend and since I helped him to bankroll his campaign, he’s going to invite me in to help him rule the country! He thinks I have a lot of good ideas!” How dumb can the richest man in the world possibly be? Fools rush in where angels fear to tread certainly panned out in this situation.

Either Elon is the cause or Elon is the example. The new Congress doesn’t seem anxious to want to roll over and play dead for a leader who treats them like dogs. Sends incompetent unelected boobs up to Capitol Hill to tell members how it’s going to be from now on. Chalk up another defeat for the King even before the starting gun. Elon Musk shit his pants in Congress. It’s only a threat if you’re threatening, and Elon didn’t scare anyone. He’s becoming the poster child (child) of Congressional resistance to the King’s Administration.

It is the beginning of the turning point where brother Elon becomes a serialized comic meme of himself. A billionaire Joey Buttafuoco. Once respected and admired, now becoming a parody of himself. Soon to be dispatched to the rural hinterlands of no longer needed. From imaginative CEO to Congressional ne’er do well doofus. Cementing his reputation as odd, quirky and naive.

Leading to his eventual sacrificial destruction on the altar of public opinion. Elon’s written the checks and the King placates him some until the word comes. “He’s getting in the way. He’s pissing people off. Get rid of him!”

Elon has tied himself to the King. So as the King goes, so goes Elon. From trendy electric vehicle to despised flaming Dumpstermobile. Ask Mike Lindell or Bill Barr what happens when you tie yourself to the King. Wanna buy a pillow? Wanna hire a lawyer? Wanna buy an electric car?

“He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot.” ― Groucho Marx