This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

“War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength” Defeat is Victory! The King with his self-appointed court fool just lost in Congress and lost big time. As in, and the horse you rode in on. The King was holding an obedience exercise. He gives a thumbs up to a bill before giving it a thumbs down. Never mind why, the King said so, that’s why. The King at the eleventh hour wants this and that inserted into a formerly bipartisan package.

Droids will be droids, and they brought this mangled monstrosity to a vote and LOST in a humiliating fashion by 38 votes. I say humiliating, because this was the King and his fool’s first opportunity to throw their weight around and show us all how tough they are. Anyone in Congress worth their salt could tell you never to bring anything to a vote if you are uncertain of the outcome.

The King wanted to plant landmines in the bill, so as to foment another budget crisis down the road. Congress isn’t so foolish as to let the King plan their suicide for them. Then the King and his fool asked, “What’s a plan B?” Wha, wha, wha? You mean you’re not going to do as I asked? They got nothing! Surprised as shit! Congress signals an unwillingness to roll over and play dead. Most of all; not for some dip shit pin head who never won an election in his life. You suck somebody’s dick around here, and they give you a job and you think you’re important.

Imagine, you’re sitting in your Congressional office at your congressional desk. Just looking out the window thinking about the millions of dollars spent by important people in your state. And thinking about their expectations of you and what they wish you for you to accomplish. When up pops this weird guy. FOK or Friend of King. So, when you say FOK YOU! They know what you mean. Why should I as a newly minted Congressman, listen to this unelected un officed idiot FOK?

Because the King wants me too? If the King wants me to sign his petition for Mothers and Sundays in the park, sure. What the King wants is a death pact. “I (your name here) promise to drink poison at the King’s behest.” Der Fuhrer kindly asks you to cede all authority and FOK all those people back home. Gee, I wonder why their plan didn’t work out?

Now imagine Baron Frankenstein working away late at night in his laboratory. But he has a drug problem and drinks too much. Little Timmy Johnson is the monster he would likely produce. Little Timmy lives on all fours and can’t please King enough! So, Timmy and the court fool announce to the assembled, “The King wants this bill passed right away! Get to it! Chop, chop! Then, oh horror of horrors! We lost! How could that ever happen to us? And after we told them the King wanted this too!

It is difficult if not impossible to determine if the bill was defeated specifically because of the King’s fool. Or if the bill would have been defeated anyway without the intervention of the fool. The Congressional droids quickly passed the bipartisan bill and little Timmy Johnson declared victory! And the mainstream media says, “oh, boy! The crisis is all resolved! Success!” Never mind the King getting his butt whooped. We don’t want to make him angry by mentioning that.

A recent newscast featured a photo of the King. A very old photo of the King from the golden escalator days. Back when the King was trim and his hair bushy, brimming with confidence of the untried. No point in pissing the King off unnecessarily. A picture’s a picture, right? Who cares, 2016 or 2024? “Congress has passed a bipartisan spending package and the crisis is averted just in time for Christmas! Yeah! Democracy works!

The King and his fool LOST! Yet, the news media pretend it never happened. Or maybe I’m wrong. A new Chief Executive sends his best man to whip Congress into shape leaves vigorously with his tail between his legs and nothing accomplished. VICTORY! We won! The crisis was averted! Never mind the King got his nose rubbed in shit.  I bet if we don’t mention it, it never happened.

No point in making the King angry, there are plenty of other important news stories out there. A man had a seventy-pound goiter removed in Iowa. A football player just got a new contract for all the money in the world! And our Jesus Cam reports no sightings yet! Warmer by the weekend.

You see this kind of thing a lot down in Elonville. The Spaced X’d crowd of paid employee’s cheer as the rocket clears the tower, as the boss sits where he can watch them. Then as the rocket spins out of control and the engines one by one begin to shut off. The crowd still cheers! The rocket is sideways now and hurtling back towards earth and still they cheer. The self-destruct mechanism wasn’t working properly. Victory! Finally, the rocket explodes. Another successful test! Recently Spaced X’d tested robotic arms to catch the rocket as it returns. The test was so successful, they haven’t tried it again! Success!

“We would have been satisfied if the rocket just cleared the tower.” But it flew out of control with engines malfunctioning before blowing up and scattering debris across several miles. Doing millions of dollars in damage to the ground facilities. Another complete success.

Your Civil Defense headlines for five o’clock GMT. From his underground nuclear bunker, the King has officially declared total victory in the recent nuclear exchange. Once the fallout clears, the King is planning to hold a victory parade in the ruins of Washington D.C. Glorious news! We won!

“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped. Nothing exists except an endless present in which the Party is always right.”  ― George Orwell