This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

It’s a new world’s record! The King’s new Administration’s “honeymoon,” period officially ended just twenty-three days BEFORE taking office. Breaking the long-standing precedent of pretending to get along with each other at least initially. But such are the pitfalls of employing the rich and the pampered. Folks always used to getting things all their own way all the time and being the center of attention.

Too many large egos and too many small…attributes. Oh, what a tangled web we weave trying to shove that much ego into that much bullshit. The King says, “Elon’s not taking over the Presidency.” But the King never asked Elon if he agreed. Elon is currently fighting with Vivek. The King’s mistress Laura Loomer is also angry with Elon. Nikki Haley is upset with Vivek over his “American workers ain’t worth shit” sentiments.

If you remember from our last episode of the “The Many Loves of Dobie Trump Jr.” Dobie had just gotten his old girlfriend appointed Ambassador to Greece. After she threatened to spoil the Party after Dobie was caught with his appendage inside someone it shouldn’t be. Why Greece? That’s as far as they could go without getting NASA involved. The family fears Junior’s new squeeze is a social climber attempting to use Dobie to get appointed to an Arts committee. Either that or she just enjoys sleeping with him. Obviously, a social climber.

Someone call Paul Simon; there are fifty-one ways to leave your lover. What rhymes with Ambassador?

If all goes well, the Arts council. If it all goes badly an Ambassador to someplace nice. Somebody rescue this forty-six-year-old man child from this millionaires Tobacco Road. Help! I’ve fallen for this girl, and I can’t get up! Like Father, like dumb. Watch me use this pick-up line I learned from Matt Gaetz. “Hey, do you want to go out with me on a date? I’ll pay you! I’ll buy you something expensive! I’ve got drugs! My dad will give you a job!” Poor kid, even his family suspects she’s playing him. You know how he is; she must be faking it!

But Elon is now attempting to tell the Republican rank and file what Elon will tolerate out of them. He threatens war with the Republican Party. He wants the Party of “Build the Wall” to become the Party of welcoming new immigrants. He! Remember, he! He, the man nobody elected to do anything, is now going to tell the Republican Party of their new business arrangement. Doesn’t he know the King already appointed his daughter-in-law to do that job?

Vivek and Elon agree we need more H1-B visas for more high value workers at everyday low, low prices. The full Oligarch take over of the Republican Party. That Goldstein really is a great guy, after you get to know him! More immigrants! Immigrants make my company. I mean they make my country stronger. But just the educated ones! The others? Build a fuckin wall!

That’s slicing things a little thin for the non-cooperating brain cells of the mutated MAGA minions. “Wa, wa, wa, wel, wel, welcome? Me no understand! Build wall! Keep out! Bad people Bad! Take Job!” It wouldn’t be polite to point it out at this point, but I will anyway. SUCKERS! They told you; you don’t like immigrants. But what they didn’t tell you is that they do. They just told you that they didn’t like immigrants. That way they could use your bigotry to deceive you into voting for them because they assumed you were somewhat dim. And now,  they won’t even buy you dinner first!

The King answers, “duh what? Whatever you say, Elon, just don’t break nothing.” Rather disinterested response for a man who ran on mass deportations and building a wall. Is it too soon to say it again, Suckers! They will present a punch and Judy stage show for the weed benders deporting the immigrants who couldn’t take your job. While they assure a safe place for the immigrants who could take your job. Nothing personal, just greed. If we can get good workers for next to nothing, we just don’t need you.

Like most authoritarian governments or cults of personality where the “leader” is cranially deficient. There is always a loose intangible goal which all are theoretically striving for. When actually they all push for their own individual agendas and don’t give a damn about the country or the guy next door.

Elon says! Elon says, so pay attention. “Hateful, unrepentant Racists” should be removed from the Republican Party “root and stem.” How are they going to do that? He just won the election. Them’s fightin words. You’re going to do what to who? Elon apparently doesn’t know who he is speaking to in the Party. It’s a lot easier to dump a big mouth billionaire than to change the long-held sentiments of a racist political Party.

The banging of a swill stick against the side of the bucket. More devil or less devil! Listen to me! No! You listen to me! The King backs my plan! No, he doesn’t, he backs mine! Do you know how you keep the subject of the 25^th Amendment from coming up? You keep them at each other’s throats, so they can never gather against you.

So, did Elon only rent the King, or did he buy him outright? Or is it the other way around, where the King used Elon and his money to help him get elected and is now letting him play out his tether. Until it’s safe for the King to cut him loose and dump him. You know a breakup is coming. Too much ego in one room. Don’t ever try an outshine the dimmest star. Cabinet meetings with armed security in the room or ZOOM cabinet meetings.  A Whitehouse divided against itself with one foot in a bucket and the other foot on a banana peel.

“And since you know you cannot see yourself,
so well as by reflection, I, your glass,
will modestly discover to yourself,
that of yourself which you yet know not of.”
― William Shakespeare