This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

It is important in these tragic and transcendental traumatic times in which we live. To find something every day to make yourself laugh. A good hard belly laugh. Otherwise, you’ll go crazy or even crazier. Like life inside the vomit comet madness among the minions. As the King tells the dissembled, he might run for a third term. Insisting, wink, wink there are ways. Would the King stand for a tiny, little law to get in the way of his royal prerogative? Would the new Hitler allow himself to be term limited out of office?

But the comedy is in the self-delusion of the statement. In its grandiosity and cluelessness. At the rate the King is going there is only a 50/50 chance any of us are going to still be here in four years. A world-wide Trade war with everyone about everything. War in Europe and War in the Middle East. War in Israel and Syria and Lebanon and Yemen. And coming soon: War in Iran!

The guy is only ninety days in and his Administration, if you can even call it that, is in tatters. The King is getting tired of questions about Signal gate. (ooh, ooh, that smell. Can’t you smell that smell?) The King in his mighty righteous anger has sent the fuck up squad to the far corners of the earth as a punishment. Little Marko Polio the little man in the big clothes was sent to Japan to assure our allies of our fealty. And they believed this might help somehow.

Sure, send us your damaged Secretary of Special and expect us to fix him for you. But at least he didn’t have to deliver ice to Greenland like the damaged and leaking SS tragic Vance. Destined to be the fall guy. Remember that time Mike Pence called you about something? And you decided not to take the call? Well, he was trying to warn you. The King punishes them all because he cannot or won’t fire them.

For an authoritarian government to work right. It must appear to be infallible. Der Fuehrer is always right. But if Der Fuehrer hired a bunch of dumb ass fuck ups, that doesn’t work, does it? If the King fires them now, he is admitting to making a mistake. Especially in the case of 86 proof Pete Hegseth. Everyone said, don’t hire him. He’s a drunk with no relevant experience. He’s a (whispered) fuck up. The King must now stick with him or admit to making a mistake. Answer? Ship him off to never-never land.

The King is now 78 years old, that’s a 147 in dog years. He’s an old, old man with a poor history of diet and exercise. Who famously enjoys McDonald’s plastic burgers and genetically modified fries washed down with an artificial chemical concoction of sugars. Plus, the King is known for his mood swings and fits of sudden anger. Leaving the possible likelihood, he could pop one day like a ripe plum in the sun.   

Recent angry and riotous congressional town hall meetings makes it riotously clear. The public is angry and not on board with any of this. “Maybe, I’ll run again!” In two years if we survive, there will (might) be congressional elections that will make Custer’s last stand look like a Republican Tea Party. Then, amidst a collapsing economy surrounded by War clouds the House will begin Impeachment proceedings against the King. While the Senate builds a scaffold and sharpens its knives.

Run again? Run for cover is more like it. The biggest enemy the King has is himself. Followed closely by his cabinet. I read an amusing story by a woman with a new book. (Of course, everyone has a book) But in her book, she foretold the possibilities of a second American Civil War. It might have been possible, and it might have even come to pass. If a new unifying force hadn’t come into the picture on January 20th. Even some of the most diehard Trumpers are now holding their hands to their mouths horrified.

I have one conservative source which I read as a barometer. And they aren’t saying very much right now. This a crowd which likes to crow at every little success and is now dead quiet. Even Steve Bannon, the felon who always selling, is forecasting Trump is going to prison in 2028. Even still, the King is 78 years old now and even two more years is ambitious for a man with the King’s health.

Plus, the King is in trouble with the laws of motion. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. So, if you pull a knife on the Federal Bureaucracy, it’s entirely possible they will push back. If you go after veterans’ benefits trying  to save a few pennies. Those who will be veterans someday might not like you very much. Military contractors might not like you very much. Industrialists might not like you very much. The King is surrounded on all sides by smiling enemies.

Did you know? The Secret Service walked Ronald Reagan right out the front door of a hotel onto a busy street in Washington DC. With a perfectly good parking garage downstairs. And then got lost on the way to the hospital. Despite all of their best-efforts Reagan survived.

The King has surrounded himself with a rogue’s gallery of slippery sycophants none of whom I would trust in the dark.

Signal gate starts simple enough. Just apologize and say you won’t ever let it happen again. Instead, they throw a tantrum swearing it’s not true. Inflating the story once the proof is published. Blaming the author while still denying it’s true. Giving the story wings! Hegseth brought his wife to secret meetings! One of the people on the Signal chain was in Russia. Funny how that always sort of pops up. You could have just said “sorry” while you had the chance. But NO! We don’t make mistakes!

And Signal gate will hobble the Administration right up until the first day the Impeachment hearings start. “Maybe I’ll run for a third term!” Stop it! You’re killing me!

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.” ― Mark Twain