This Carbon Based Life

By David Glenn Cox

I saw a made-up poll by the for-money media. Americans are divided over the King’s performance. Divided over fascism, undecided over a ruined future. But one must be careful how one presents the facts on the fabled “Boob” tube. The boob might be watching. So, they have to do a lot of equivocation and ignore the ramifications of the actions with a straight face. So as not to be accused of being too partisan and maybe getting fired.

Incredibly angry people out in numbers not seen since the Great Depression. Angry! Damn angry! And the media says, the jury is still out. Running the whole gamut from literal rocket scientists to the farmers to the cop on the beat, worried, scared and angry. Meanwhile, the King behaves with the grace of a blind woodsman stumbling from event to event. Telling Americans, this is gonna hurt but no matter! The greatest assault on American liberty since the Stamp Act. They look right in the camera lens and tell you with a straight face. Oh, lots of people agree with the King.

Maybe those people on TV with million-dollar homes and their only problem in life is which fabric softener to add to the wash. Wearing a sweater makes you trustworthy on TV. It’s the Ozzie Nelson principle of fatherly advice. You can trust me. See, I’m wearing a sweater. It fits nicely in the imaginary America where people have few worries and plenty of money. Those people are split in their opinions. They just can’t make up their minds. Do you honestly believe that?

Even in my limited circle, I have seen dyed in the wool blood red Trumpers doing a 180. They aren’t so sure anymore. A lot of Veterans in those crews and a lot of senior citizens too. A lot of people with Grandchildren in public schools. People worried and terrified about their jobs, their lives and their futures and their children. But undecided on Trump’s performance!

Sure, to the untrained eye it might look like the King is driving the economy straight into a brick wall. But with the tariffs the King hopes to gain a gazillion trillion million dollars. Money will fall from the sky. Dogs will piss money on fire hydrants. The largest tax increase gambit ever performed. Every number is based on sales. No sales, no taxes collected.

If you sell one million Toyotas, you’ll have X revenue. But it all depends on selling those one million Toyotas. With the King’s assault on the Federal bureaucracy and his war on entitlements. A lot of money will be missing from the everyday economy. The public fear and anger is palatable. The White Palace Honeymoon is over even before it started. Presidential pitchwoman Acid Barbie said, Stop asking the King about Signal gate. He already told you nothing and has nothing more to say. So, stop asking or you’ll be asked to leave.

According to insiders, it has all gone bluey. No one really knows what is going on now. The King pronounces some majestic ambition between farts at lunch. And some poor middle management type is left to sort it all out exactly what the King meant by his dystopian remarks. It’s not like a Congress where people hash out all the details. Just go with it!

Today it’s Europe and tomorrow it’s Asia. But juggling the world economy for fun and profit does have its pitfalls. You might not sell all of those Toyotas after all. Doing away with section eight housing will be a torpedo a mid-ships to the residential housing market. The courts suddenly swamped with evictions of people with no place to go. The landlords will all most certainly go broke. Being unable to rent and or sell the property without Federal assistance they are now underwater in. Nobody can afford those prices any more mister.

Surprise! And you thought it was going to be all tax cuts and sunshine. None of them ever dreamed the King would destroy their business or industry. A word to the wise, avoid government contracts or price them accordingly, if you have to wait for your money. You could end up hung out to dry like the farmers. Bills due and no check forthcoming.  

Investment bankers and stock brokers counting their bonuses from the rising stock market suddenly no longer rising. If you watch, you can see the retrenchment. The market is down for a couple of days in a row then swings way up. They’re guessing and searching for a bottom. Buying bell weathers when they think the price is a bargain. Only to see them sink further, rinse and repeat.

The other day during one of the stock wipeouts. GM stock lost 25% of its value after the King spoke of tariffs. Does that sound like Wall Street is undecided about the King’s policies? Do Tesla sales reflect public indecision?  

The King promised to bring Peace to Ukraine and give victory to America’s favorite ally Russia. But the King has discovered it’s harder than it looks. The King is pissed at Vladimir Putin. Mr. Putin was so upset by Trump’s anger he called up a general mobilization. That’s Russian, for up yours fella! Peace negotiations are now at an end and a wider war and possibly nuclear war in Europe is possible. Good Job!

They had it all planned out and it was going to be so perfect. They never anticipated the results of their own actions. And since they were certain their plans were perfect. Never bothered to work out a plan B. And it’s all coming apart faster than a SpaceX starship over the Gulf of America.

The question now is can they still right the ship before it hits the rocks? Their plan has failed, and they are left in a morass of their own ruined plans. Someone left the cake out in the rain.

But Mousie, thou art no thy-lane,

In proving foresight may be vain:

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men

          Gang aft agley,

An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,

          For promis’d joy!

Still, thou art blest, compar’d wi’ me!

The present only toucheth thee:

But Och! I backward cast my e’e,

          On prospects drear!

An’ forward tho’ I canna see,

          I guess an’ fear!

• Robert Burns